Political Humor

The Obama Administration started the Cars.gov Cash for Clunkers Program to stimulate auto sales, and also to take older, less fuel efficient cars off the road. The program is designed to allow auto dealers to scrap the buyer’s trade in and receive an additional $3500 or $4500 depending on what’s being traded in and what’s being bought.

Image Credit: Unloved Car

The problem is that the government isn’t actually paying the dealers for the trade ins. That’s government at it’s finest for you. Of course, the Obama Administration is spinning this as a success, because so many people are buying new cars under the program that government workers can’t keep up with the paperwork. Obviously, whenever a government handout is so popular that the government can’t meet the demands of it’s citizens, that’s a major success. Social Security anyone?

I don’t know. ObamaCare is just sounding better and better isn’t it?

“I’m sorry. We really want to treat you for your tragic illness, but the program is such a raging success that government employees are having a hard time filing all the necessary paperwork. Hello. Hello? Damnit! Another one died while awaiting treatment. Now I have to file the paperwork for that too.”

Back on the topic of Cash for Clunkers, what I think the Obama Administration really needs are some good excuses to keep Auto Dealers off their back until they can make good on the vouchers. With that, here are the

Top 10 Reasons the Cash for Clunkers Program Isn’t Paying Dealers

10. Michelle clogged the toilet and you wouldn’t believe how much it costs to get a plumber in the White House at 3am on a Sunday.

9. We had to pay off Tim Geithner’s tax debts.

8. Do you know how much it costs to cover up our effort to take ownership of everyone’s computers?

7. Hillary Clinton wanted to finalize the sex change operation.

6. Barney Frank got a great real estate deal on Beachfront property in Arizona.

5. This is just fantasy, like a movie!

4. Oh yeah, well where’s MY bailout money?

3. You’ll get your money right after Malia and Sash get their unicorns.

2. The Check is in the mail.

1. Payday isn’t until April 15th, but we’ll totally pay you right away just as soon as we get paid.

You can either leave your own favorite lame excuses in the comments section or retweet this on Twitter.