Political Humor

It is not every day that the leader of a rogue state like Libya hits you up on email for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to help him out, and get rich in the process.

But it happened yesterday. Gaddafi reached out to me, or rather his wife did. I didn’t even know he was a fan of mine.

Mrs.Safia Farkash Gaddafi

Wife of Moammar Gadhafi President,

Man, even his wife can’t figure out how to spell the last name.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Safia Farkash al-Baraasi I am the second wife of the Libyan leader. we came to know each other in 1971 when Gaddafi was admitted to a hospital where i worked as a nurse. we got married the same year and have six sons and one daughter.

And all seven of those kids will spell their last name differently. A touching love story none the less.

Side note: He really likes nurses.

I got your address from my husband’s email booklet and so i decided to contact you on this vital issue. As you may be aware that my husband is presently facing a difficulties in Libya as his administration charges in Libya by the rebel,me and my three family members had moved to one of our hiding estate unknown to any body all our documents have be ceased to prevent us from traveling.

I hate when my documents have to be ceased. It kinda reminds me of a little incident that happened to me in an airport a few decades ago.

So now we get to the pay dirt. The offer that will make me rich…

Please, presently I and my entire family have what I will called “MY FAMILY LAST RESORT to the tune of U$40 (Forty million United States Dollars) and ready to be TRANSFER to you with the hope that you will invest this funds into any good business in your country, pending when the political turmoil is over.

Wait, “good business”? Oh man, I knew there was a catch. Eff.

Okay Chris, think positive here. There are always winners in a bad economy.

I got it! I’ll invest in companies that make barrels.

Then another catch…

Please if you are interested in helping me to receive this money that is presently in an escrow account in one of the banks in Asia country. After a successful process and transfer of this said money into your bank account, 30% of the total funds will go to you and my son Alaa will come to your country immediately to start up a business with your assistance so we will be able save for raining day.

Wait, now we have to start up a business? Does Alaa have expertise in running a company that makes barrels?

This sounds like a scam. I have to invest $40 million, then start up a business with some guy I don’t know. And I am pretty sure he doesn’t know squat about the barrel market.

But what the hell. It is $12 million dollars after all. Mrs. Gaddafi sign me up.

Hey, where did the money in my savings account go?

Man, this is the last time I invest in the Libyan barrel exporting business.

Sprouting from the roots of the weed that is Move On and funded by George Soros comes the newest liberal political action committee, Move Along and their latest campaign “Nothing To See Here”

Barack Obama got us involved in an unnecessary war for oil for Europe.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Some of the rebels in Libya have ties to Al Qaeda.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

GE made billions in profits and not only paid no taxes but also got a tax credit. And their CEO has a job in the Obama Administration.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Obama told Brazil to drill baby drill, advice that would help George Soros, who has a major stake in Petrobas and stands to benefit. But we can’t drill our own oil.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Not only are we not closing Gitmo but we are trying war criminals there.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

CBS and Washington Post got government subsidies.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Radioactive Liberty News  interrupts your usual programming to bring you this breaking news story…

Good evening, I’m Jim Fuddbutter and we have word that for the first time in recorded history, liberals and left-wingers are holding a pro-US rally for the Libyan War.

We now go to Chris Cameron live on the scene. Chris?

Chris: Thanks Jim and yes it is true. Liberals are holding a first-ever protest in support of an unnecessary and pointless war. The moonbats began gathering at noon and by mid-day the crowd swelled to thousands. They waved American flags, sang patriotic songs, and are even cleaning up after themselves. Our news crew captured some of the signage on display…

But nothing compared to what we witnessed an hour ago when all the protesters stopped to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, then followed it up with a stunning group rendition of “America the Beautiful”.  Teleprompters helped the crowd, providing the lines and lyrics.

It was a magical moment.

Jim: Historical.

Chris: Unprecedented.

Jim: And unexpected too.

Chris: That’s for sure. Nobody saw this one coming. We even had one of our interns double check Nostrodamus’ quatrains and the Bible Code for any hindsight predictions. Nothing.

Jim: I hear chanting in the background. What are they saying?

Chris: The Liberals took their age-old chants and modified them for the cause. One that went on for hours was “hey hey! ho ho! Khadaffi’s got to go!” They also were fond of  “What does France want? Oil! When do they want it? Now!“.

Hold on…there is a stir in the crowd. A large man is coming towards me. It’s Michael Moore. Get ready Jim there could be fireworks.

Chris: You are the last person I would expect here. What’s the deal?

Michael Moore: I’m here today because America is not broke. We have money and those state workers from New York that won the lottery should give up their earnings to pay for our deficit.

And you’re holding a cheeseburger. Hand it over. Me hungry!

Chris: Okay okay.

Jim: Are you alright?

Chris: Yes, Moore left once I surrendered my food.

Frankly Jim I’m not sure what to expect next. This is both awkward and surreal at the same time, much like a complete stranger saying hello to as you pass them by on the street.

But all of us will remember this day and where we were the first time liberals protested for a war. This is Chris Cameron signing off.

This has been a presentation of Radioactive Liberty News. Stay tuned later for another breaking news story…Media Matters reveals conservatives thought Obama was a socialist before he was elected. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.