Political Humor

Good evening everybody and welcome to Wednesday Whoop Ass! Good ole J.O. here and do we have a main event for you! In the steel cage of death, doom, and destruction we will have two heavyweights in their respective ranks squaring off in a fight to the irrelevance!

In one corner, we have the champ. A man who is leader of the free world. A man who commands armies, and can move markets on a whim. He can fire missiles into other countries, and have the IRS audit you for no more reason than because he says so! It’s Barack “The Black Mamba” Obama!

In the other corner, we have a man that holds no political office. He has no power of government agencies. He can’t compel law enforcement to do anything. But some say he has a mystical power to hypnotize millions with his words. It’s Rush “The Raging Elephant” Limbaugh!

This looks to be one hell of a slobberknocker! It’ll be a pier six brawl! Get ready to hold on to your wallets and your prescription medication! We’ll get to the match right after a word from our sponsors!

funny commercial

Welcome back to Wednesday Whoop Ass! Good ole J.O. here and our warriors have entered the the steel cage of death, doom, and destruction! The bell rings and here we go!

It looks like the combatants are feeling each other out here. A rhetorical jab from Rush, and Obama counters with a middle-finger-nose scratch. Rhetorical jab followed by a rhetorical jab. Oh my! Rush hits Obama with a diatribe!

He follows up with multiple haymaker Reagan references! He has Obama backed into a corner! This looks like the beginning of the end, and we’ve barely gotten started! Wait, who’s that running in from back stage? Oh my God, it’s Rahm Emmanuel! He just tossed The Mamba a foreign policy change! That’s not legal! Oh! This is brutal! The Mamba is beating Rush over the head with his foreign policy!

Rush is staggered! It looks like the Raging Elephant may fall! Wait, Rush counters with a Socialism monologue! He’s dazed The Mamba! He has to follow that move up to gain the initiative in the fight, but the beating he took has left him exhausted! How are these men still fighting after all the brutality they have suffered?!

It looks like Rush is trying to go for his finishing move, the Crown of Communism. He’s moving in for the kill…Oh my God! The Mamba pulled out his mandate, but Rush blocked it with his huge advertising revenue!

OH NO! JESUS CHRIST!!! From out of nowhere, Obama hit him with his patented finisher the Fairness Doctrine, and Rush is down! He’s not moving. The fight is over! The fight is over. Obama just killed Limbaugh’s career, freedom, and the Constitution in one deft move!

I’m speechless! How could this have happened? Where was the commissioner? That move was banned, but he was able to…

Wait! Let me go, you goon! Leave my microphone alone! You can’t do this! This is unAmerican! You can’t……………………….