Political Humor

There are too many people that don’t know the facts about global warming. Some may believe in global warming myths, while others simply don’t know all the global warming statistics.

In order to bring enlightenment, and most likely create a few myths of my own, I’ve developed this FAQ to provide you with all the global warming information you need.

What causes global warming?

The Sun. Without it, the Earth would be a cold, bleak, desolate wasteland. Much like Pluto, which is no longer a planet. Or Al Gore’s brain.

Is Global Warming real?

I wouldn’t say that global warming is not happening. But whether or not the Earth is genuinely going through a phase of warming or cooling is part of a natural cycle. The real question is whether Man Made global warming is a scam. Yes. Yes it is a scam. Just like Scientology.

Do you have pictures of global warming?

Don’t be silly. It’s impossible to have pictures of things that don’t exist. I find it interesting how many mythical things we have “pictures” of. For example, the famous photograph of the Loch Ness Monster is really a hand in the bathtub. Like so.

Of course, there are artist renderings of global warming. In other words, fake pictures. Like the one of the poor polar bears above. Do keep in mind, that these are fake, phony contrived images.

Nothing more than a hoax. Like the “Osama bin Laden” tapes. Basically the exact sort of thing you would expect from the AP or Reuters.

Is Ron Paul still running for President?

That’s an excellent question, but a better question would be: why is Ron Paul still running for President? He has about as much of a chance of winning as Barack Obama does in winning a professional bowling tournament.

How many votes does a person need to not get before they call it quits? What I do know is that this question has nothing to do with global warming.

Now that I think about it, they are both insane religious cults.

Is there any evidence against global warming?

Of course there is, but as with other religions, petty details like “facts” and “evidence” are of no concern to the practitioners of the global warming religion faith. You can show as much data as you want to Al Gore and global warming’s hysterical hyperventalationists, but it will get you nowhere.

Can global warming be prevented?

Sure it can. I can also move objects with my mind. Barack Obama can bowl a perfect game, Al Gore isn’t insane, and controlling the weather is fun and easy.

Are there any natural causes of global warming?

Almost all causes of global warming are entirely natural. Volcanoes erupt and spew tons of “greenhouse gases” into the air. Volcanoes are one of the leading causes of global warming.

Cow farts are another leading cause. The process of evaporation over the oceans are also contribute to the natural causes of global warming.

Are humans the cause of global warming?

No. Whatever factor we play is nearly insignificant.

Is global warming for kids?

Kids love global warming! Whether they’re running through the sprinkler, taking a refreshing dip in the pool, or cooling off with some ice cream; there’s really no downside to global warming for kids.

Now you are armed with the facts about global warming. Go forth and club a baby seal, punch a dirty hippy, and feel secure in the knowledge that not even Al Gore’s palatial estate produces as large a carbon footprint as a volcano does.

So, turn on the lights, idle the car, and crank up the AC. It really won’t matter any more once Yellowstone or Anak Krakatau blows.

Humor-Blogs.com did not know that Yellowstone was a supervolcano, and I can’t believe I just linked to Wikipedia.

Here are a few other articles related to global warming information:

• Global Warming Solutions: The Ultimate Guide
• Global Warming Kills Nessie
• How You can Help Save the Planet
• Global Warming Armageddon
• Global Warming and Narnia

We now return you to your regularly scheduled political humor.

I was hoping that since Al Gore won his precious Nobel Prize, and is now the King of the Environment the global warming talk would have settled down. Not so fast, because the moonbats are at it again.

This time, however the crazy Gorebal Warming backers are really reaching. The Republicans talk about getting back on the three-legged stool. From the looks of things, the Gorebalists are just looking for a leg to stand on.

They tell us increases in CO2 will lower the amount of protein in key crops like potatoes and wheat. Shhh, don’t tell them that scientists are already able to dramatically improve protein levels in those same foods. Moonbats hate solutions that run counter to the goal of stifling growth and development. Especially if those solutions are technologically based.

The Global Warming nuts try to fool people with magic tricks a child wouldn’t fall for. You have got to love the utility company that sends their customers fluorescent bulbs and bills them twelve dollars.

Seriously, people haven’t fallen for the ‘what’s that behind your ear’ ruse since they were seven.

The Gorebalists even try to guilt us into thinking animals like the American Pika are dying because of increased CO2. Don’t tell the moonbats the species is battling the same coyote problem that their cute pets face in the backyards of suburbia.

I wonder when they will notice a connection between growing populations of animal predators and the amount of missing pets.

I can see it now…

Police officer: “We found your pet ma’am. He appeared to have been maimed and killed by a coyote.”

Moonbat: “That’s impossible. This is the suburbs. It has to be global warming.”

But the monster of all claims is veteran fictional-character hunter Robert Rines’ assertion that Nessie was killed by man-made global warming. Yes, that is right someone finally blamed the death of the Loch Ness monster on human-induced climate change.

Are you surprised?

So I guess this means the Yeti, Bigfoot, UFO’s, and Chupacabra – all of them now endangered species – need our help. Before you know it, we will be committing tax dollars to ensure mythical creatures can thrive in their environment, undisturbed by man.

Chris Cameron writes this guest post of political humor every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty and also assorted oddities for his own blog, Humor by Angry Seafood.

Humor-blogs.com believes in fictional characters. Go there to read about Bigfoot’s take on life as a mythical creature.

Don’t ever miss Chris Cameron’s Thursday articles on Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. Subscribe via Email or via RSS.