Political Humor

McCain: (singing softly to himself)

Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran

Army General: Mr. President, sir? We should be heading over to the War Room. It’s time for the Joint Chiefs of Staff to give you your initial briefing, sir.

McCain: Yeah, great. Hey General, do you ever get a song stuck in your head. You know, one that makes it all but impossible to concentrate on anything else?

Army General: Yes sir. Sometimes I get that tune from “it’s a small world” going around in my head until I want to pull out my 9 mil. By the way sir, do you have an agenda you’d like to discuss today.

McCain: (still singing softly to himself)

Let’s bomb Iran
I know we can
That evil land
Let’s bomb Iran

Army General: I’m sorry sir, did you say, “bomb Iran”?

McCain: Yeah. Can’t get it out of my head. Bomb Iran. Oh, here we are. Let’s get this briefing started. I’m anxious to hear what you guys have to say.

Army General: Gentlemen, the President of the United States.

McCain: Thank you, please be seated.

Army General: Before we begin the briefing, the President has informed me that he wishes to bomb Iran.

Marine Corps General: Hooyah, sir. We’re right there with you on this one.

Navy Admiral: Sir, with all due respect, we can’t just go and start bombing another country.

Army General: I beg to differ. We have the ability. All we’ve got to do is…

McCain: (singing a little louder)

Just got to lock it
and to load it
Drop it
and explode it
Bomb Iran

Air Force General: The President’s right. All we have to do is up-load the B2s and off we go. So, sir is this what you are asking us to do?

McCain: (completely obvious, singing at a full volume)

Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran

Air Force General: Sir, then there is question of ordinance, targets and timing. 

McCain: (grabs a waterbottle from the table, uses it as a microphone)

Fly to Tehran
Drop an H bomb
Take out Mahmoud
‘Cause I’m in the mood

Let’s bomb Iran
As soon as we can
Show ‘em where we stand
Let’s bomb Iran

Joint Chiefs of Staff join in as backing vocals:

Just got to lock it
and to load it
Drop it
and explode it
Bomb Iran

Bomb, bomb, bomb,
Bomb, bomb Iran…

This song parody brought to you by Radioactive Liberty and Humor-Blogs.com

This is just great. It’s now down to Frick and Frack. Come on. Couldn’t we have done better? I mean really. Obama and McCain? This is the best we could come up with? I don’t know who I’m more Fricken pissed at. Neither is worth a Frack.

To any of you who are aficionados of the Swiss ice-skating duo, I apologise.

 
But speaking of Fricken, if tofu that’s shaped into a turkey is Tofurky, what would you call tofu chicken. Toicken doesn’t work, but Fricken does.

Can’t you just see yourself ordering this tasty meal at a fast food drive up window?

Giant plastic chicken head: Welcome to KFF. May I take your order please?

You in your car: Yeah, I’d like some Fricken Nuggets, large Fricken Fries and a medium Coke.

Giant plastic chicken head: Would you like BBQ or our special Fricken Sauce with that?

You in your car: Aah, just gimme the Fricken Sauce.

Giant plastic chicken head: Please pull up to the window and have a nice Fricken day.

Frack me, phony chicken and even phonier candidates. Just Fricken wonderful.

Right about now you might be wondering where the usual hard hitting, substantive, fact filled commentary is in this piece. Well, I’ll tell ya. I’ve taken a page from both Obama and McCain and today you get from me, what they have been giving to us all. Nada, zip, zilch in the way of substantial information as to how they will govern.

I threw in the terrible joke above as filler. Nothing there, just a way to take up space and waste time. A distraction to keep you from realizing that I’ve got little here, other than empty verbage and a cheap bag of stale, hot air driven catch phrases. Kind of like the drivel I keep hearing every time those two open their mouths.

Really, how can I tell you about their platforms, when they won’t tell me? These two jokers dodge and spin so much that it makes me dizzy just looking at ‘em. And listening to either makes me feel like I’ve tuned in to Mexican talk radio. I understand a lot of the words, but it just ain’t making no sense.
 

Other than the fact the one is irritating and the other is nauseating, I can’t tell  ‘em apart.  Just two peas in an Invasion of the Body Snatchers pod.  Where are they hiding the real candidates?  

What am I going to do in November?  Who am I going to vote for?  No one on the ballot, that’s for sure.  The best I can do is vote against the other guy.  I suppose I should be use to it by now.  I haven’t actually voted for a president since Reagan. It’s been a fast slide down hill since then.

So there it is.  Not much of a post and not much an election.  I suppose I shouldn’t let it get me so Fricken upset.  And one more thing, if they think that after having their way with me for all these months, that I’m still going to respect them in the morning, well, they can just Frack off. 

Humor-Blogs.com has better voting choices than election 2008 does.