Political Humor

Today’s Simple Solution is for our porous border with Mexico. The drug cartels are interested in two things, money and power.  They already control the northern Mexican states, and are well armed and very good at protecting their turf. So the cartels have the power.

I say give them the mere billions they make through smuggling drugs and human trafficking, to instead keep those things out of the U.S.. This win win solution can easily be funded by diverting funds from NPR, Planned Parenthood and alternate energy subsidies.

Why can’t Washington see the easy fixes?

The following is very loosely based upon the outstanding writing style of Edward Bulwer-Lytton.

It was a dark and stormy night along the Southern Front, where heavy machine guns in National Guard manned towers, pointed to the North, in an effort to keep money and USA made weapons from tempting, honest, eager-to-work, underprivileged citizens of the Americas into entering a life of crime and die by the hundreds, to satisfy the desires of American liberals for a little, harmless high -unlike evil, law abiding, tolerant, gun loving, subversive conservative, suspected right-wing terrorist, who prefer to drink beer when they watch cars going around in circles and bar-b-cue brats, instead of smoking reefer or snorting cocaine from a mirror in some rat-infested, germ-ridden, big city night club restroom like Blue State hippies and high government officials (no pun intended, seriously) of the Democrat persuasion like to do, who then in a drug-crazed rut, hook-up with anything that has a pulse, only for many of the females of this sub-species to later regret their one night stands and visit dark alleys, where universal health care providers with unsanitary coat hangers wait.

So what the hell does this have to do with illegal aliens, undocumented workers, Democrat voters in waiting? Well, one would think all that fire power might deter them from entering our their country, right? There has to be some way to bring in the necessary employees to do the jobs Americans Lazy Americans won’t do, doesn’t there? Am I ever going to answer any of these questions? Is that what you want me to do?

Too bad. I don’t want to. At least, not in a couple of words.

It was the same dark and stormy night, just south of the border, where hard-working, men, women and children waited for a chance to make a lasting contribution to the entire world by borrowing the social security numbers of dead babies and thereby entitling them to vote in every Illinois election -several times on the same day- while simultaneously relieving sloth-like white guys of the burden of having to labor, by allowing them the opportunity to collect an unemployment check because they were laid-off from their jobs that paid too much or were outsourced (in-country) to foreign workers who want to just get through the border -that is heavily armed by racist, terrorist-in-training- without being subjected to the scrutiny afforded to their countrymen that supply the drugs for Liberal Americans that want to make themselves feel better about the terrible way these noble people are treated in their country -on both sides of the border- so they instituted a system to identify those immigrants, deserving the opportunity to re-claim the land that was stolen from them -after they stole it from the Indians, who stole it from the Norwegians- by giving them a “Get into Texas Free” card, so they can flash it at the new Check Point Charlie, near El Paso and enter this country unmolested.

If you didn’t get the message, all you liberals who use drugs are supporting terrorist activities, both foreign and domestic -and yes, I am saying drug cartels and gangs are terrorist too and no, conservatives as a rule, don’t use illegal drugs. This makes you an accessory to the mass murder of thousands of people world-wide.  I am also saying that there is nothing noble, proper, lawful, right, just or fair about “immigrants” sneaking into my home and taking what does not belong to them. Oh, and if you think this makes me a racist, que te jodan, Puta!

Have a nice day!