Political Humor

This week’s Political Humor Quick Hits is about Mexico, snakes, and government spending…

Mexico Pissed About Swine Flu Outbreak Discrimination

Apparently, our neighbor to our south is not happy other countries suddenly won’t trade with them or allow their citizens to visit:

“Mexico’s U.N. envoy says nations need common rules for responding to flu outbreaks to prevent discrimination and unfair trade restrictions, Mexico’s U.N. envoy said Friday, complaining that Mexican citizens and exports were being unfairly singled out.

Mexico has complained that its citizens and exports are being shunned by some countries.”

Let’s see…the media highlighted the fact the disease came from Mexico, scaring the entire world. Nearly all the deaths from the N1H1 flu came from Mexico. Their government shut the frigging country down for like five days.

I can’t understand why Mexican exports are so unwanted either. Launch a full investigation! It must be Bush pulling strings from behind his Crawford ranch.

It was bad enough Barack had to run against Dubya in 2008 but now this? Thwarting open borders and free trade?

Will the Obama administration ever be free of the shackles of the Bush presidency?

Somebody call the ACLU.

Gotta Love Headlines

“US restaurant chain to probe snake head in broccoli”

So what are they going to probe the snake head with?

Estimate of Budget Deficit Now at We’re Screwed Level

Unless you consider this a good thing:

“The government will have to borrow nearly 50 cents for every dollar it spends this year, exploding the record federal deficit past $1.8 trillion under new White House estimates.

The unprecedented deficit figures flow from the deep recession, the Wall Street bailout and the cost of President Barack Obama’s economic stimulus bill – as well as a seemingly embedded structural imbalance between what the government spends and what it takes in.”

I should tell my landlord that I have a structural imbalance between my revenue and my spending.

I’ll need a rent bailout by the way.

Not to be outdone by the stark revelation of the massive spending increases, budget director Peter Orszag put the blame on you-know-who for the 1.87 trillion dollar deficit for 2009:

“The deficits … are driven in large part by the economic crisis inherited by this administration,”

And unlike Bush, the current administration is of course practicing fiscal responsibility. Sorry, I meant stimulus. There’s that language thing again.

You know why there are still open posts in the Treasury? Fewer people to witness Geithner printing money late at night.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his other weekly column here every Wednesday and his own style of original funny at his original humor blog Angry Seafood.

Good evening, America. I am Janet Napolitano, and I am speaking to you in an effort to quell your fears about the recent epidemic of swine flu. Do not be afraid because your messiahPresident, and his apostles cabinet are coming up with innovative new solutions to combat this microbial menace.

Make no mistake, this is the worst public health disaster since the Black Death of the 1300′s. As such, we must act now. There is no time to waste. Currently, members of the House and Senate are working on bipartisan bills that look like Tolstoy novels. We know from past experience that legislation with more pages than the average trailer park resident can count make you sheep people feel like we are trying to help you. I mean, not that we aren’t. Trying to help you I mean. Well, as opposed to doing things solely to solidify the Democrats grip on…but I digress. Where was I?

Anyway, President Obama wants to make sure you people understand that now is not the time to get all xenophobic. Yes, we understand that the problem likely originated in Mexico, and spread here through our porous southern border. We also understand that it seems like common sense to start shoring up our borders and immigration policies. We will, however, not do any of those things that sound like good ideas.

What we are going to do is vote on this mammoth “Health Stimulus Bill” tomorrow even though it has 23,000 pages and would be humanly impossible to read in such a short amount of time. This bill is going to spend 14 trillion dollars on things such as AIDS research in Africa, creating solar power-plants, mag-lev trains, funding HAMAS education programs in Gaza, and lining the pockets of ACORN.

Remember, now is not the time to panic. The swine flu is only here to infect the people that American flu strains are too lazy to infect. Don’t go clinging to guns and bibles. You won’t be able to bring those to the camp…oops.

If you would like to read more of Janet Napolitano…oops…I mean JumpOut, you can find him writing law enforcement humor at You Should Be Tasered