Political Humor

I’m just going to say it, Michael Jackson would still be alive if we only had a government run health care system. Even as a stanch, radical right-wing, hate mongering, gun hugging, racist, bigoted, sexist, homophobic bastard, I must coincide this to be the truth. You might be skeptical. I can understand. I was too, but now I see the reality of this situation, in the compact florescent light that shines from the Chosen One.

The fact is, Jackson had access to the best medical minds in the world, but he wanted to use a live-in doctor and a host of “friends” to provide for his “medical” needs. Jacko could afford insurance, could afford tests, could afford hospital stays, could afford mental health practitioners. Dammit, he  could afford to live a long and healthy life, but he still made bad decisions. And it killed him. This is just plain wrong. The system is sick and Obama will doctor it up.

Under the Obama Universal Care for Health System (O.U.C.H.S.), those decisions would have rightly been taken out of the hands of Michael Jackson and his doctors, and put in the hands of highly capable GS grade, bean counting, government employees. This program will be covered by the Directed Oversight Guidelines Insuring Plans Of Obama (D.O.G.I.P.O.O.). Under these guidelines, Jackson would never have gotten his paws on the those killing drugs, because they cost too much. So they wouldn’t have been authorized in the first place. And he’d still be alive today.

Obama could have saved this gifted man-child. Saint Michael could have grown old and maybe grown-up. He would still be tucking little guys into his bed after they eat cookies and drink “Jesus Juice”.  We might have even seen the boy taken out of Michael, but probably would have never seen Michael …

Wait a frikken second. Forget what I said.

Long live the Evil Capitalist Health Care System!

Throwing a Democrat Party this summer? Make your own Baracks On Water (B.O.W.) Punch.  Equal parts Jesus Obama Juice and Kool-Aide, with a splash of a fancy French bottled water. Goes great with pork.

Obama Juice is a registered Trade Mark of ObamaCo.  Bottled by the Sour Grapes Vineyard, Washington, DC.

Q: What do Governor Mark Sanford and Elvis have in common?

A: Both of their careers died with pants around the ankles.

Some of you may have heard that Michael Jackson died yesterday, thus ending his career too. But unlike Elvis, you almost never see a troop of Michael Jackson impersonators (Although it could be argued that Jackson was a bad impersonation of himself) And if you did find one, I wouldn’t hire him for a kid’s birthday party. Well, Jackson’s death might bring the financially strapped family some money in the form of movie and TV rights. I’d like to suggest a title for a movie, MJ: The Pedo File.

I’m waiting for Congress to vote for a bail-out for the Jackson Estate. It’s been estimated that he owes between 400 to 500 million dollars to various banks. Is the Kink Of Pop too big to fail? We’ll have to wait to see. I can hear Obama saying that he doesn’t want to run the Michael Jackson Estate.

Elvis is known as The King, Jackson as The King of Pop, and Sanford was looking to the 2012 Presidential elections. He was The Man Who Would Be King. Coincidence?

So, Governor Sanford’s and Jackson’s and Elvis’ careers are dead. Sanford’s just doesn’t have the grace to go to room temperature. Instead Sanford has decided to take a page out of the Obama Version of the Democrat Play Book. He’s going on an apology tour. Politics and monkeys sure make strange bedfellows.

In related news: Michael Jackson has just been spotted at a gas station in Memphis.