Political Humor

Holy crap! The newspaper industry is dying a slow and agonizing death. I can’t believe this. Who would have seen this coming? Who knew that the internet, with it’s immediate access to more than enough free content to choke Linda Lovelace, would crush the newspaper industry beneath the heel of it’s merciless, digital jackboot?

Something has to be done! By that I am certainly not implying that the newspaper industry do anything to save itself. Perish the thought. No, I mean something has to be done by the government involving large infusions of taxpayer dollars to reinvigorate yet another failing, worthless industry.

Another fine course of action would be to punish the success of teh internets by forcing them to share more of their profits with the newspaper industry. After all, with the election of Barack Obama, we seek only economic justice.

The newspapers have done such a wonderful job of informing the public. Or at least they might have had people waited until the morning paper arrived to get their news instead of surfing the web until their eyes began to bleed.

Just look at how deeply they delved into Barack Obama. The way they were the first to sound the alarm when they discovered that Obama hung out with known terrorists, Marxists, and racists. Okay, so maybe they didn’t do that.

Well, at least they have the obituaries. Where else are you going to be able to find information on the latest deaths in your community? Wait, that’s on the internet too?

Damn it, you can’t wrap your fish in Google News! I’d like to see you use the internet to cover your table while you clean your guns. You would also have a hard time using your flat-screen monitor to line the bottom of your birdcage.

Awww, fuck it, let ‘em burn.

I think JumpOut may be burning more stuff at his law enforcement humor blog, You Should Be Tasered