Political Humor

Obama: Taking Home the Prizes

by Clyde James Aragon

Now that Barack Obama has received the Nobel Peace Prize for disarming America, let us look at other awards he should be considered for and the reason for him getting them:

Academy Award: Oscar for Best Actor – he’s not really a President but he plays one in the White House

Grammy award – best teleprompter soundtrack from “Why America Damned Well Needs My Medical Program”

Cy Young – for throwing America a curve whenever he speaks

Heisman Trophy – for running roughshod over the Constitution while trying to push his socialist agenda

Pulitzer Prize – while probably written by someone else, Barack Obama’s book “Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance” is a riveting, if fictional, accounting of his early life. This one is somewhat suspect, though, as he has an actual book with his name on it

Enrico Fermi Award – for proposing to maybe create green energy which may be created in some form in out life times and which probably won’t be affordable by the general public most of whom wish they could afford it as they freeze to death in their darkened homes

The World Food Prize – for cooking the books first, on the U.S. budget, and then on the imaginary cost of his socialized medicine plans

Gold Medal of the Royal Astronomical Society – just for being a star in his own right

World Food Prize – has shown us that people can and will swallow anything

Murchison Award – in geographical sciences for putting America back on the map

Lesilie Fox Prize for Numerical Analysis – in creating a Washingtonian model for mathematics he has shown us that 2 and 2 sure as hell don’t equal 4

Wolf Prize in Agriculture – found a new use for political b.s.

Comstock Prize in Physics – while smashing heads in Congress he’s shown us that congressmen’s heads really are filled with nothing

Fukuoka Asian Culture Prize – because he fairly exudes culture and has nice suits

Aga Khan Award for Architecture – for building a house of cards of the American economy with his trillion dollar deficits

The Rabbi Martin Katzenstein Award – for his spirited defense of Israel – not!

Gold Medal for Outstanding Contribution to Public Discourse – no one has discoursed as much as him.

Vision for Europe Award – by taking nuclear defense missiles out of Poland and the Czech Republic we see his vision of Europe to be that of a barren, flattened wasteland

Royal Order of the Lion – because he likes lions

Order of the Cross of the Eagle – because he’s been giving America the bird since he gained office

Order of the Golden Fleece – need we even bother to comment on this one?

Mr. Universe Award – because the world is way too small to honor him

Norbert Wiener Prize in Applied Mathematics – just because this is a funny-sounding prize