Political Humor

Big news everyone.

Not only has the recession ended in Massachusetts, and New Hampshire too apparently, we’ve got a runaway economy on our hands in the Bay State:

Supported by universities and hospitals, and buoyed by a housing rebound, Massachusetts has pulled out of recession ahead of most states and could start to add jobs steadily in coming months, according to a leading economic forecasting firm.

The Boston Globe reported it so it must be true right? (If I didn’t know any better I would swear they sell rose-colored reading glasses to compliment the content.)

(bold emphasis mine)

Moody’s Economy.com of West Chester, Pa., which analyzed employment, production, and housing data, estimates that Massachusetts began a recovery in January, becoming one of 22 states with growing economies. New Hampshire, the only other New England state no longer in recession, began its recovery in December, according to Moody’s Economy.com.

That is odd because the same website describes New Hampshire this way: (bold emphasis mine)

Although conditions are not as dire as those in both the Northeast and the U.S., New Hampshire remains in recession. Losses in employment and output are moderating and the housing correction is winding down.

Now I know how Inigo Montoya felt. They keep using that word “recession”…

The mixed messages do not end there however. According to Moody’s nearly half the country is experiencing economic growth yet the situation for the entire U.S. is more dire.

The glass is half-full with recovery and half-empty with recession at the same time. That’s a nice trick.

And what about the twenty-two states with their supposedly growing economies? Are some of them part of Obama’s 57 states?

They must be invisible economies. That’s it.

All those Stimulus jobs the Democrats promised us were real. We just couldn’t see them.

Obama you minx you.

==========================================

Chris Cameron is a writer, columnist, and beat reporter for Radioactive Liberty as well as for his own blog, Angry Seafood.

I have to take this opportunity to revise my endorsement of Barack Obama for President. As a writer of political humor, it just doesn’t really get any better than a Barack Obama Presidency. Seriously. I thought Ron Paul running for president was a goldmine, and even pondered how great it would be to see Ross Perot run again, but Barack Obama is a runaway freight train carrying the mother freaking load.

The Obama 58 states controversy has reignited, although the focus has shifted to the 57 states he claimed to have visited. This ties in the association of Barack Henry Obama to the idea that he’s really just a closet Muslim. I don’t where we go from that. I guess President Obama turns over the country to Ahmadinejad, or forces all our women to wear bhurkas. I really can’t see how anything could be worse than the raging nanny state, tax and spend, big government, Socialist that Obama already really is. That’s the bad part. Obama a Muslim. Don’t really care.

So, Obama has been on a rampage, trying his best not to sound like a candidate that just stepped off the short campaign bus and flailing and failing miserably. This guy has more Bushisms in a weekend than President Bush has had in nearly 8 years. And the same mindless drones that decry Bush as a a drooling moron, the Chimp in Chief, bow and worship at the altar of The Obamessiah.

Obama was on a show with George Stephenopulos, and the exchange went like this:

Obama says that “McCain hasn’t talked about my Muslim Faith,” and then Stephenopulos interrupts him. Clearly what Obama meant to say is “lllllllllllllllmmmmmmmmmmgggggggghhhhhhhhhhkk,” which roughly translates to “could someone please remove this bucket from my head? Anyone. Anyone.” But instead he forgot to say the word “alleged,” which in this context is pretty big.

Then he makes reference to Sarah Palin and something about putting “lipstick on a pig.” Again, Obama can be difficult to understand, what with the bucket that’s stuck permanently to his head, but he didn’t make clear what exactly was meant by putting lipstick on a pig. I don’t know.

It’s also possible that there will be a new line of Obama Lipstick coming out to complement the Obama Air Tires, and Obama Air Gauges already for sale. Then again, maybe he sees pig farming in the future. Be on the lookout for the Obama Lipstick pig with commemorative inscription. Available in 57 states, but not in Hawaii or Alaska.

Maybe the clearly Islamic Obama was really just referencing the prohibition against pork his faith demands. Or maybe he just resents the fact that Sarah Palin would allow her 17 year old daughter to be punished with a baby. I don’t know how he can make that judgment, though, because it’s above his pay grade. It was certainly above his reading level grade, which I suspect falls somewhere between pre-K and K.

All this brings us back around to the whole Obama 57 states meme going around. It seems that The Organization of the Islamic Conference also known as the OIC has 57 Islamic states. So there you have it. I’m hesitant to call Obama a chimp, like the moonbats call President Bush, lest I be charged with racism. The moonbats like to see racism everywhere.

There will no doubt be screams of racism for calling Obama a blistering moron. Well, the world didn’t end today, and there was no large hadron collider black hole. Just the black hole where Obama’s Brain should fit.

A bumbling President is good for the political humor business. In all 57 states. I just had a thought. Where did the other state go. Maybe that supercollider did do something. If one of the states is missing – Well, you can put lipstick on a pig… But Obama is still bordering on can’t even tie his own shoes retarded.

That’s why I think Obama needs to be President. Don’t be bitter Americans, clinging to your guns and religion. Vote for Obama. Vote for Change.

I need to know, did I miss any of Obama’s blunders or did I hit them all? As always leave a comment or the terrorists win.

Related Political Humor Links:

• Pig Lipstick Sales Surge
• Lipstick on an Obama
• Lipstick on a Pig, Painting a Turd
• To Blunt Pig Lipstick Impact, Obama Admits Plagiarism
• We Now Love Baby Trig Flip Flop

Am I the only one who thinks someone running for President should know how many states are in the country he wishes to preside over?

Then again, most people probably don’t know how many states there are anyway, what with outcome based education, and a fear that the children might have their feelings hurt if their incorrect answers are marked with red pens.

Most likely, voters in all “58″ states will not know if they are in one of the 8 states not in the union. If they’re Democrats, they will still be eligible to vote in multiple precincts too. Even if they’re dead.

Obama!

Get continuing Election Coverage at Humor-Blogs.com.

The controversy has reignited, possibly due to a nutty caller on the Rush Limbaugh show. This time, the focus is on 57 States, and the fact that the OIC (The Organization of the Islamic Conference) has 57 states. So, Obama said 57 states and there are 57 Islamic States. I think the evidence is pretty conclusive. Beware people. Obama is one of them there Mooselimbs.