Political Humor

Have you ever wondered how all of these Democrats can drive around in their big cars, live in their huge homes and fly all around the world in private jets with no guilt? Up until now it’s been a closely guarded secret.

Hi, Billy Mays here again -this time for the one product that will allow you too, to live the energy wasting lifestyle you’ve always dreamed about, but were too eco-conscious to pursue.

Green is good and what could be more green than planting a tree, saving an endangered species’ habitat or building a windmill? Nothing! Nothing could be better. So if you’re ready to go green, then you’re doing a good thing, and doing a good thing makes you good person!

And good people know a good thing when they see one.

Introducing the Obama Carbon Offset Coins! Each coin bears the Earth-friendly face of President Barack Obama. Because they’re minted in China*, we can offer them to you at an astonishingly low price.

Each coin you purchase will help save an old growth tree, build an environmentally friendly energy source, or adopt an orphan tree.

These old growth trees are home to endangered species like the Red Cockade Woodpecker and the Spotted Owl, and deserve to be preserved.

Wild mills and solar panels are not the only way to gain energy independence but they are the greenest. For each dollar you spend on an Obama Carbon Offset Coin, a full three cents will go to one of these worth projects. Now that’s change you can believe in.

But the one that pulls at my heartstrings, and I hope your purse strings, is the Orphan Tree Fund. Millions of trees are living in desperate situations, in impoverished nations around the world. Many of these trees have never been hugged. By purchasing Obama coins, you give these neglected trees a chance to grow-up and lead productive lives, cleaning harmful CO2 from our air.

For just one Obama Carbon Offset Coin a week, you can help change the life of a deserving tree…forever. Four times a year, you will receive a picture of your tree and a report on how it’s doing. Suitable for framing, you’ll treasure your tree and feel good about yourself, because you’ll know that not only have you saved a tree, you’re saving the planet.

And if you order your Obama Carbon Offset Coins in the next twenty minutes, we’ll throw-in Transparency In Government, a life-sized poster of Vice-President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. This poster proves the Democrat Party has nothing to hide.

So you get the Obama Carbon Offset coins and a Joe and Hillary poster.

But wait there’s more!

As an added bonus, we’re going to give you a second poster. That’s right. Just for ordering in the next twenty minutes, we’ll send you -absolutely free- Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi showing that they too can wear the Emperor Obama’s New Clothes.

Get yours now!

Due to high demand, the phone lines may be busy. Dial 1-800-HUG-TREE, that’s 1-800-HUG-TREE and be prepared to wait. Getting your Obama Carbon Offset Coins are just like getting economic recovery.

*Obama Carbon Offset Coins cannot be sold to children under 16 due to the lead content.

Les James is saving trees by humor blogging at Sideshow Mirrors

Related: Obama Economic Stimulus Jokes

Are you sick of hearing about Obama-mania? Tired of all the Chosen One’s infomercials? Me too.

Obama merchandise is everywhere. Bobble heads, thongs, Barack Obama photos, coins, plates, sheets, baseball cards, the list seems endless. You’d think you were in Jerusalem during Easter and these guys were selling pieces of the cross.  Even Billy Mays has gotten in on the act.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any of that shit.

Hi, I’m Les James.  I’ve never tried to sell you anything but today I want to share with you, an alternative means of helping you to stimulate the economy.  If you’re  a conservative like I am, you want to spend you hard earned cash on cool stuff  that you want, not crap that’s shoved down your throats.

Liberals are weak and will buy anything that’s slickly packaged. But we know, you’re too smart to be taken in by some smooth talking pitch man. We’re not even going to try.  We know that it’s the performance of the product that should do the talking, and you want to buy from someone you trust, someone with a proven track record.

That’s why we created RL Gear by Radioactive Liberty.  The staff and management of this political humor blog, wants you to be able to blow your wad on quality items you really want.  And after seeing what we have to offer, blow your wad you will!

[ed: The unfortunate phrasing above is just a metaphor, no actual wad blowing will occur]

Carbon Offset Credits, Global Warming, Climate Change, Cap and Trade.  What a crock!  The lies are so thick, that there’s not enough room left to swing a dead, baby harp seal.

[ed: Not a metaphor. A real, dead baby harp seal was used  in this attempt]

Want to make a statement? Let the left know what you think about it all? RL Gear has the products for you.

Every time those morons in Washington open their mouths they expel (amongst other things) CO2.  When are we going to get Cap and Trade on that? Show you’re not a hypocrite, and crack open a can or bottle today!

How about an econo-box that you’ll actually enjoy driving…up and over the moonbats and hippies in your way, and maybe a few who weren’t? MPG? Hah! More like GMP!

But wait, there’s more!

For the gun-toting, bible clutchers on your list, how about giving them an Obama image, on a gift they’ll really enjoy? Even if you don’t own a shotgun, our clay pigeons are just plain fun to throw at walls… or politicians! On impact, these little beauties shatter into 825 Billion pieces. Just like all of Obama’s promises of hope and change.

Hey guys, we all know how much fun it is to write our yellow names in the snow. It’s a joy few women will ever understand. And remember when you were little and you pretended that you were a fire truck? Relive those bygone days and be  the man you always knew you could be. Go ahead, be a Big Dick guy.

Those maggot-encrusted faeries needed a good washing anyway.

Ladies! Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you. Here’s a little item that you’ll want everyone see.  The sexist males at RL Gear only sell these silky panties in XS, S & M -that’s women’s extra small, small and medium.  And you must be at least 18 years of age to order.

So please, go ahead and give us a peak!

OK, maybe the panties are as much for us guys as that are for you gals. But at least we’re honest. Despite rumors to the contrary, there’s no limp-wristed, man purse carrying, metros around here.  This is real man country. And we love you ladies dearly.

So order yours today!

And if you order before midnight tonight, you won’t get anything else. We’re not into gimmicks. 

This is Les James for RL Gear by Radioactive Liberty saying, stop being such a wuss.  Be conservative  Buy conservative. Buy RL Gear*. You’ll be glad you did.

*The items listed above are priced much like dinning at a fine restaurant, if you have to ask, you can’t afford it. Subject to all applicable local, state, federal, and Obama taxes. But you won’t have to pay them all until Charlie Rangel and Tim Geithner do.

[In an update, looks like Tom Daschle has decide to pay-to-play. He's going to pay taxes and penalties that he "forgot" he owed on the over 2 million he made by speaking to the health industry. He's embarrassed. Isn't that nice? No problem though, there's no conflict of interest here. Everyone should get loads of cash from the very people they are to oversee.]

Want RL Gear for your very own?  Here’s your chance. Just download these funny pictures and keep ‘em for yourself, give ‘em as gifts, or republish ‘em. The cost? Just attribute these images to this site. Nice huh?

Les James is here ever Monday and the rest of the week he’s at his own humor blog, Sideshow Mirrors.

“Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower.”
-‘Spaceballs’

Obama-mania officially went nuclear this week, or as our former President liked to say ‘nu-cu-lar’ with the introduction of the Barack Obama Victory Plate.

Besides the fact that he peers at you through your peas and mashed potatoes while you eat, the commercial is over-the-top. A white family even smiles at the camera then Dad exclaims they ‘never thought this day would come‘.

What day is that, the one where their white guilt was purged or the one where merchandising finally went too far?

Has it gone far enough though? What else do the merchandisers have in store for us?

Obama Commemorative Ponytail

Barack doesn’t have a ponytail? No but he is the most liberal member of Congress and now he’s in charge of the entire country. His Vice-President is the third-most liberal! Nothing shows your support for a moonbat administration more then a ponytail. Comes in your choice of brunette or salt/pepper colors.

Obama Commemorative Coin

With all the talk of change and the inevitability that our taxes will shoot up, Americans will be forced to use more coins to pay for things like food and gas in the future. You will feel like the proud American you now are by using Obama coins to purchase goods and services.

Obama Commemorative Kleenex

The years of an extremely liberal Presidency will bring tears to everyone’s eyes, especially when they realize purses and wallets will become obsolete. Feel the comfort of Obama’s face wiping away the sadness.

Obama-mania has risen to such an insane level merchandisers are including images of Martin Luther King Jr. which is a no-no according to the head of the King Center:

“Some of this is probably putting food on people’s plates. We’re not trying to stop anybody from legitimately supporting themselves,” he said, “but we cannot allow our brand to be abused.”

Actually it is more like putting plates under people’s food. That’s merchandising for you.

Chris Cameron writes this political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his own brand of original funniness at his humor blog Angry Seafood.