Political Humor

In an exclusive, the  RL Inquirer has learned, from an unnamed source, the truth behind President Obama’s perplexing cozying-up to South American strongmen, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, Lula de Silva of Brazil and most recently backing ousted would-be dictator, Manuel Zelaya of Honduras. In a scene that could have come right out of the Boys From Brazil, America’s first half-white President has buddied-up to Chavez, in order to get into the good graces of de Silva.

The question becomes, why?

Our inside sources have told us that Obama seeks to circumvent the 22nd Amendment, which sets a two term limit on the President. Obama believes that human cloning is not only possible, but available in Sao Paulo. He thinks a clone is not actually him, so will be able to run for President, after he is ineligible in 2016.

The History

Deep within the Brazilian jungle, Nazi scientist are thought to have first attempted cloning at the end of WWII, but were unable to get it right in time to resurrect Hitler. Work has continued in secret since that time -up until now. The earlier obstacles seemed to have been over-come by Brazilian scientist, but not without difficulties and set-backs.

Other less-than-successful attempts may have included, current Vice President Joe Biden. It’s thought Biden and several of other members of Congress were assassinated some years ago, by the mysterious Second Shooter on the Grassy Knoll. Unfortunately, the intellect of these cloned individuals didn’t develop as desired.

Recent advances in medical technology, and the mapping of the human gene, has made the exact duplication of a ‘fully functional and intelligent person’ not only possible, but apparently, a reality. Presidents for Life, de Silva, Chavez and Manuel Ortega of Nicaragua, and possibly Zelaya, are said to have already cloned themselves, to perpetuate their rule into the foreseeable future. It’s not known why Fidel Castro didn’t take advantage of this program.

The Future?

Obama expects to have several clones grown, at a staggered rate of every eight years. The first one will be ready for the 2016 elections. As a back-up plan, Obama’s Eternal Life Czar, continues to look for the rumored Fountain of Youth.

In related news: Michael Jackson has been spotted today in Dubai, Dresden and outside of a New England Boys Town facility.

Independence day weekend is rapidly approaching, and that means that the 2009 summer blockbuster movie season is upon us. As a brief respite from our usual political humor, I offer you this preview of some of this summer’s most eagerly anticipated movies.

Dumb and Dumber

Obama and Biden are two lovable and friendly, but very stupid friends, who struggle with every aspect of life. Obama is the President of the United States. Biden is his more experienced, but equally stupid sidekick and Vice President. Watch the two bumble their way through the misadventures of running the United States government in this hilarious comedy, destined to be a classic (Hilarity may not applicable to United States citizens). Comedy. Opens July 3.

Ice Age: Return of the Dinosaurs
After the events of “Ice Age: The Meltdown”, life begins to change for Manny and his friends: Fossil fuels still exist, but they have been cap and traded to developing nations. Manny and his friends struggle to make ends meet as a new ice age erupts in the face of hysteria over global warming. Animated Comedy. Opens July 3.

The World According to Gore

Al Gore is Gore. He’s got a funny way of looking at life. Opens July 10.

Obama Brasco
Barack Obama goes undercover inside a radical Islamic extremist terrorist cell. A low level flunkie in the terror cell befriends Obama, and soon Obama is one of the most trusted members of the group. However, a moral dilemma confronts Obama when a mole is suspected and he realizes that ending the undercover operation will put his friend at risk. Based on a true story. Drama. Opens July 10.

National Lampoons Iranian Vacation
Iran has a long and storied history, dating back to the very beginning of human civilization… Until the Obama family pays a visit for their summer vacation. Obama has trouble speaking English when there is a teleprompter in front of him. Without a teleprompter or a translator, there’s sure to be one zany disaster after another in the cradle of civilization. Comedy. Opens July 17.

They Call Me Senator Boxer

With the right kickbacks, anyone can buy a title. Drama. Opens July 17.

Air Force One
The President of the United States is on a mission to secure public relations photos for Air Force One when the plane sweeps in on a near miss of the Statue of Liberty, sending New Yorkers into a terrified panic. Action. Opens July 17.

The Crying Game

When a Supreme Court Justice appointment unexpectedly opens, President Obama appoints Sonia Sotomayor to the position. However there are some things that even Obama doesn’t know about Sotomayor. (Same surprise ending). Political Thriller. Opens July 24.

Snakes on a Plane

Hair raising thriller featuring Nancy Pelosi… On a plane. Action and Adventure. Opens July 24.

Please submit your own summer movie previews in the comments section.

Concept by Fiar, Movie Posters by Les James.