Political Humor

Don’t mess with a master. Obama learned that the hard way yesterday. Benjamin Netanyahu whopped the ass of our boy President, when he told him in no uncertain terms what he thought of Obama’s inane plans for the sovereign state of Israel.

Way to put that spoiled child in his place, Mr. Prime Minister.

In a previous Simple Solution Les suggested a way to deal with the border problem. I have another and it is something our President suggested….

I know Barack Obama was joking when he said Republicans would not be satisfied unless the US Border was a moat filled with alligators.

But come on that is one hell of an idea.

And what if he wasn’t joking?

Last week, Obama gave the orders to take out Bin Laden. Sure, he hemmed and hawed on the decision for sixteen hours but he did finally say yes.

Then he made fun of his wife in public, advising America not to get in between her and a tamale. But it’s okay, he said because she’s exercising.

(On a side note, no word from the AP on how many nights Obama slept on the couch for that indiscretion.)

Then this: a moat filled with alligators along our southern border.

Maybe he is serious about the idea. And now that he floated the premise we need to fine tune things a bit.

First, we have to have more than just alligators. We need piranha, those eels that swim up people’s penises, and perhaps sharks with laser beams. I’d include the Loch Ness Monster but he was killed by Global Warming.

Second, we can turn border crossing into a contest. Make it across, get a Green Card. We could even televise it as a reality game show.

This is a win-win for everyone. The US gets a secure border, anti-immigration people get their reduction in illegals, pro-immigration people get their path to citizenship for those who do make it across, and the average Joe watching television gets a new Spike TV reality show with a great lead-in from 1,000 Ways to Die.

If you think Obama was not born here you are a Birther. If you think Bush was responsible for 911 you are a Truther. There are Deathers, people who think Bin Laden is still alive. (He’s hanging with Elvis in Pontiac, Michigan. )

Now there is a new group for people who think any flak aimed at Barack is fueled by racism: Racers.

Here at Radioactive Liberty we have created a test for people to determine if they are a Racer.

Question #1: Are you Whoopi Goldberg?

If you answered yes to this question you are in fact a Racer.

Question #2: True or false: White conservatives secretly voted against Obama in 2008 and Democrats were able to counter the covert racism by illegally flooding the election results with extra votes.

If you answered true you are a Racer and also probably so far to the left you make Obama look like a Moderate. I hear Cuba is very nice this time of year. Make sure you bring toilet paper though.

Question #3: True or False: The news coverage of the Birther controversy was a distraction from the real issues.

If you answered true then you are not only a Racer but ignorant.

Two billion people watched the Royal Wedding. Millions of Americans woke up at the crack of dawn to see it. Every news channel and TLC were devoted to live wall-to-wall coverage.

But somehow Birther talk was the big distraction that week. Elle. Oh. Elle.

Question #4: True or False: You look at the Royal Wedding and wonder where the black people are.

If you answered true you are a Racer. Perhaps you should be asking liberal buddy Prince Charles why that is by the way. Maybe he’s too busy worrying about having less than 96 months to live to come up with racial quotas for the royal family. I don’t know.

If you answered “false” or “no” to all of these questions you are not a Racer. Congratulations.

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Do you have a quiz question to determine if someone is a Racer? Leave yours in the comments below.