Political Humor

Today I’m filled with hope because I can see that change is right around the corner. January 20th of 2009 is going to be the turning point in American World history. How do I know this? Because the Clinton’s are back!

Just kidding. Not about the Clinton part, that’s true. It seems Obama’s promised Big Change involves getting the band back together from the Clinton years.  I was being sarcastic about the hope thing. Matter of fact, I’m going to continue to be sarcastic. It keeps me from ranting.

The officially leaked list of Obama’s Cabinet candidates looks like a Who’s Who, Chinese menu of liberal main courses and side dishes.  Very few have been actually offered or accepted a job -officially.  We’re all going to have to wait until Christmas to open that fortune cookie and see all of those who are really (and officially) inside.

Below is a best guess list of supposed Cabinet members, based upon official statements and unofficial conjuncture. There’s nothing like having a transparent government that we can believe in.

While our first black President (who was all white and shouldn’t to be confused with the current President elect who is half white, says he’s black but remember, it’s not about race) will not be rejoining the current administration -in an official capacity- but the author of Hillary Care will. Oh happy days!

While I can’t believe she would take any position (any position that doesn’t involve grabbing the hips from behind anyway) that contains the word Secretary in the title , still Obama is supposed to announce today, that Hillary has accepted the job as Sec. of State. That’s right S.O.S.

The Obama cabinet is shaping-up (read: rumored) to be an all-star ensemble cast that includes such notables as Tom Daschle and Bill Richardson. How’s that for earth shattering, I-can’t-believe-it change?

Richardson, who was the former Energy Sec. and a UN ambassador under Clinton, could be the next Sec. of Commerce. And Daschle? Wasn’t he something insignificant like Senate Majority Leader, before South Dakota kicked him out, and a good friend of Clinton’s? Now it looks like he might be the new Sec. of Health and Human Services.

Bill Clinton should be able to give Tom a few pointers on the Human Services side. I wonder if Daschle enjoys a good cigar? Now there’s a question fraught with innuendo.

Greg Child ring a bell? He’s going to be White House Counsel or maybe Chief of Staff or… He’s the same lawyer that tried to get Bill off during the Lewinsky scandal. I’m not sure how I mean that. Speaking of Monica, isn’t there a slot or something for her? Sorry, I’m really having trouble getting the sentence structure right and my mind out of the Liberal Lane of the Beltway; the gutter.

Child also worked with Albright and Teddy K. But wait there’s more! Remember Elian Gonzalez, the sweet, little Cuban boy who Janet Reno had removed at gunpoint from a relative’s home in Miami? Child was Elian’s father’s lawyer. Now if he would only advise Obama to do the same for all the other illegal aliens.

Then there’s Lawrence Summers, former Treasury Sec. during the Glory Years of 1992-2000, who will now head  the National Economics Council… maybe.  Can you say change?

Bernake and Paulson are jokes, so who are they talking about getting to fill one of those soon to be vacant positions? Well, none other then Little Timmy Geithner, WHO HAS BEEN ADVISING THEM!

Sorry, got a little worked up. It seems that stupidity know no bounds when it comes to political appointments.

Don’t forget the Kerry/Gore question. Even though neither are on the official short list, rumors fly. Which one of them might still get a shot at “saving” the great outdoors as Sec. of the Interior?  You got to admit, that’s a stupid title. I suggest we change it to Sec. of the Backcountry. Much more fitting for either one of them. Yep, S.O.B.

And the list goes on and on and…

Makes you wonder if George Stephanopoulos will be rejoining the team. He’s still on TV, right? He might as well since our conservative satire blog has more fans than his show does.

It doesn’t matter who President Obama picks, one choice will be just about as bad as the next. Which leads me to this:

Hope for change all you want, you stupid ass liberals, duped Republicans and ignorant Independents, ‘cus you got what you asked for. Obama lied right to your faces and you were just too lazy to even open your eyes or unplug your ears.

Change is coming all right. Better hope it’s wearing a rubber.

Always be safe, wear a condom.  Les is wearing one right now. You can find more of his sarcasm at the freak show that is Sideshow Mirrors.

Related Obama Humor around the internet

Politics by Satire explains that Obama is a Republican
America’s Watchtower concludes that Obama will be serving Bush’s 3rd term
Iowahawk reports that the terrorists didn’t get the memo that Obama was elected.