Political Humor

Oregon Voting Information Error

Oregon may well be the friendliest, sexiest place to vote in the nation. In how many other places can you sit, dressed or not, in the privacy of your own home and decide the fate of our country?

My adopted state has a mail-in voting system. Say what you want about voter fraud, it’s really convenient. I don’t have to stand in line, show a voter’s registration card, or talk to exit pollsters.

The ballot just appears in your mailbox. After filling it out, I can drop it by the post office or a ballot drop off point in my own good time. In order to receive this service, all you have to do is get a Oregon drivers license, and we’ll give one of those to just about anyone. You don’t even have to prove that you’re a U.S. citizen! I told you we were friendly.

Now, Oregon is leading the way in taking the stress out of even this task. I got my Voter’s Pamphlet in the mail yesterday. On the inside of the front cover, is a letter from our beloved Democrat Secretary Of State, Bill Bradbury. Toward the bottom of the letter, he encourages those who need a hand and desire to speak to a professional, to call 800-ORE-VOTE.

This number directs you to another number where you can experience “an exciting new way to go one on one with hot girls.” See, it is a sexy place to vote!

Even though the pamphlet just arrived in the mail, a flurry of protest from gay men and straight women has prompted Bradbury to swiftly change the number to 866-ORE-VOTE. There you can actually get boring help with your vexing voting questions.

Fortunately, the 800 number is still valid. So those of us, straight men and lesbian women, who need a little relief from the stress of mail-in voting, can still make that call.

I know which number Humor-Blogs.com will be using. Photo may be clicked to embiggen.