Political Humor

Tim: Welcome to our 2008 Election VP debate pre-bout show. I’m your host Tim Masterson. Today sitting in the hot seat is the former governor of Minnesota and wrestling icon Jessie The Body Ventura. And speaking of hot seats, I said it last week and I’ll say it again, Gov. Sarah Palin has one hot seat.

At first it was strictly a physical attraction, but with time I’ve grown to appreciate her mind as well as her body. OK, I still drool on my microphone when I see pictures of her. That one with her wearing that red, white and blue, Wonder Woman outfit, holding a whip…Wow!

What do you say Jessie?

Jessie: Sarah Palin is hot. If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra and you know who’d be wearing it.

Tim: Now that’s funny!

Jessie: Congratulations Jim, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn’t: Go stick your head in the mud.

Tim: That’s why I love ya man. But let’s get down to the battle de jour.

Looks to me like its going to be a mêlée of epic scale between The Hottie, Sarah The Barracuda Palin and The Mouth that Roared, Scrappy Joe Biden.

Jessie: Yeah Tim, McCain’s training Palin for the heavyweight fight of her career. He’s got plenty of political in-fighting experience to pass on to her but from what I’ve seen so far, she’s got talent. Selling the jet on Ebay… classic.

Tim: So what do you think of the boys from the Blue States?

Jessie: It’s a switch-up. This is something we don’t see too often. The 40 something year congressional vet, Scrappy Joe, the Dems VP candidate, is the one prepping his I’ve got more time in the jon then he has in office, featherweight challenger to go up against the Reps seasoned pro.

Tim: So what you’re saying is that the VP debate is the one to watch, ‘cause the Pres. contest is going to be an early KO?

Jessie: Not all Tim. To give you an analogy: wrestling is ballet with violence and Obama knows how to dance.

Tim: Too close to call then. Do you have any advise to give either Vice Presidential candidate?

Jessie: Biden needs to remember he didn’t get enough votes in his Presidential bid to be elected Mayor of Wasilla. If he opens his mouth at the wrong time or even looks at her wrong during the debates, Palin wins because it looks like he’s picking on a woman and he’s sexist SOB.

Palin, on the other hand, needs to remember the she’s a good-looking woman. She has to be a class act while she’s kicking Biden in the nuts. Play that wrong and she looks like a bitch.

Tim: Strong words. But what about Obama saying, “You’re absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith.”

Jessie: Obama can’t put two coherent words together, without someone putting it on a teleprompter for him first. As to those being strong words, I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there’s not much I can do about that. But I’m going to be honest. I’m going to continue to speak my mind, and that’s who I am.

Tim: OK.  What ever happened to your political career?

Jessie: I decided to run for governor because I got mad… I wanted to make government more directly accountable to the people. But when my time was up, I went back to my real life. Politics is not my life. I have a career in radio and another career in film.

Tim: How’s the film career going?

Jessie: Not so well.

Tim: On a lighter note, McCain sent me a letter.

Jessie: Oh?

Tim: Yep, he was looking for support.

Jessie: You mean cash.

Tim: You got it. So I sent him a dollar and wrote him there’s more where that came from it he gets elected and suddenly doesn’t feel up to the job.

Jessie: Putting Palin in the “hot seat” as you would say?

Tim: Ah ha.

Jessie: Good call.

Tim: Well, that’s all the time we have today. I’d like to say thanks to my guest, the most powerful governor next to Arnold…

Jessie: What the…?

Tim: …Jessie The Body Ventura. Tune in tomorrow when my guest will be TV, and singing legend David Hasselhof. Good night.

Jessie: What do you mean “next to Arnold” …

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Les James posts here every Monday while maintaining his home at Sideshow Mirrors.

 Today’s John McCain’s 72nd birthday and man did he get a present or what? You’ve got to give it to him, if you’re going to pick a running mate, pick one you’d like to mate with.  Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is the former Miss Wasilla and damn if she isn’t a great looking woman.

Did that sound sexist? Yeah it does, but why else did he choose her? Hillary proved you could run successfully for the Presidency as a woman, but ugly just doesn’t cut it. Pantsuits and saggy, well…, that’s not what the American people want to look at during a presidential race.

We can visually see the difference between the Democrats and the Republicans.  Liberal women are homley, sad creatures, like Rosie. While Republicans have a long history of attracting tight bodies with brains. Now add to the list, which includes the center-fold worthy Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram, Sarah Palin.

Take Obama. Please. Just kidding. No not really. But still you’ve got to admit, he’s a good looking guy, and according to his running mate Joe Biden and ex-Pres. Jimmy Carter he’s also a clean, articulate black boy. Wow, those guys are just full of, ah…complements aren’t they. Still, Obama presents a great image, no substance, but a great image.

What do we know about Sarah Palin? Nothing really, other than she’s a hottie and apparently in politics that’s all you need. So I say, nice job John McCain and I want to see more of Sarah Palin. A lot more, if you know what I mean. 

You can see more of Les James’ brand of satire and humor at his place, Sideshow Mirrors.

Check out the Sarah Palin Speech Video.