Political Humor

Hillary Clinton’s thirty-plus years of public service have been amazing. For example, last week she reluctantly admitted that she ‘helped bring peace to Northern Ireland.’

For some reason, Hillary’s view of her own career reminds me of those Chuck Norris jokes about how he could beat everyone up in real life.

But in Hillary Clinton’s version of the Chuck Norris joke, she kicked Chuck’s ass, made him cry and cured cancer. All in a day’s work for the second-place Presidential candidate I guess.

Clinton once claimed to bring peace to the Middle East by providing the pen for Bill to sign the stunningly-successful Oslo Accords. It was a Cross pen by the way.

Hillary helped win the War on Poverty. I don’t know why this is a big deal. You don’t even need Chuck Norris, just a well-armed police action. It worked so well for the War on Drugs so success a second time around was no surprise.

Hillary Clinton the Uniter

Hillary brought George Dubya and John McCain together again in an uncomfortable reunion and endorsement of the 72-year-old man. Hopes are high for the Republicans this Presidential election year, as the party unites to fight the evil Democrats.

Hillary helped pass the Patriot Act. It changed money laundering laws and led to Eliot Spitzer getting busted for paying thousands of dollars to some self-esteem lacking bimbo from Jersey for sexual favors. Dirty, no-condom sex, by the way. Which is what people call ‘unsafe sex’ these days, I guess.

No, unsafe sex is with a cheap hooker, sharing needles while she is punching you in the kidney. The odds favor pregnancy, not diseases when it comes to high-end prostitutes. So, it’s not an unsafe result. Just a stupid one.

If only Clinton had not made it so difficult for a politician to move large funds around, Spitzer wouldn’t have had to resort to buying Western Union money orders for his prostitutes. I would’ve thought she would be a little bit more kind to her Super Delegates.

But not Hillary Norris. She’s kicking political ass and taking names. Look out Michigan and Florida, she’s on the way to overturn the DNC rules and get your votes.

Chris Cameron writes this political humor column every Thursday. You can also read his own odd and strange brand of humor at his Humor Site Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is looking for the nearest Western Union.

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