Political Humor

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Why Experience is Critical to Political Campaigns

One of the criticisms I keep hearing about Sarah Palin and Barack Obama is that they lack experience, and I agree that this is a quality that simply cannot be overlooked in political campaigns. Especially when we are talking about the Leader of the Free World.

For example, President George W. Bush has about 7 and a half years of experience, and his Presidential capabilities have never been more finely honed. He’s never performed with such deft precision and efficiency. In fact, I think we can all agree that the country is now running smoother than Joe Biden’s head before hair plugs.

Joe Biden Before Hair Plugs Political Humor

Not a single economic functification to be found.

We can also look to the Bush Presidency for another example. I remember after the shock of 9/11 wore off, the public outcry that if only the President had more experience, it never would have happened. If only Clinton had been able to serve a third term, it could have all been prevented. Speaking of Clinton, his second term was simply phenomenal.

I think back to my days in school, studying history, and how our teacher explained that if only Hitler had been more experienced, and Truman less experienced, we would all be speaking German now. Fortunately, Hitler had very little experience conquering countries and Truman had 82 days of Vice Presidential experience before taking the helm.

Since experience trumps policy positions, leadership skills, charisma, and virtually any other quality that some less intelligent folks base their vote upon, I suggest switching up the ticket. One one hand we will have McCain-Biden. Neither have any experience doing anything in the executive branch, but they have plenty of experience driving this country into the ground, and negotiating earmarks to persuade them to vote for horribly craptastic and extravagant bills.

On the other side, we will have Obama-Palin. One plus is that we won’t have to hear the stupid fear mongering of sycophantic Obamorons regurgitating “One heartbeat away from the Presidency. Squawk! One heartbeat away from the Presidency. One heartbeat away from the Presidency. Squawk!”

It will be the right wing nuts uttering the phrase and mumbling something or other about Vince Foster. As a double bonus, all we need to do is take away the teleprompter and hilarity will ensue as both of them struggle, like a retard punching his way out of a wet paper bag, to form a sentence that is even semi-coherent. Triple bonus, VP Sarah Palin is hot.

In fact, I’ve come up with some political advertising for these fip flopped campaigns.

McCain-Biden Political Advertising
mccain biden political campaigns advertising image

Obama-Palin Political Advertising
Obama Palin live without a teleprompter political humor

I for one would look forward to seeing whether we would end up with a messianic black man, and his hot female running mate in the White House, or two old bald white men. That would be so cliché.

Come to think of it, since experience is so critical to political campaigns, maybe we should just give Bush a third term.

October 6, 2008   1 Comment

Political Advertising | Flame War Parody #35

One of the great things about having a vicious political blog is that I have the opportunity to put it’s destiny into the hands of the bitter Americans that read it.

That’s what we do here on Sundays. A topic is selected, and the power is in your hands to make it as stupid as possible. This week’s flame war parody is inspired by political advertising, which is becoming increasingly invasive on TV and radio in the run up to the 2008 election.

Should we ban all political advertising that doesn’t promote a platform of beating hippies?

Discuss.

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September 7, 2008   20 Comments