Political Humor

Today, President Obama tapped former basketball great, Dennis Rodman to head a newly created committee,  as Czar of Federal Sports Oversight. This committee will fall under the Dept of Labor, but will be antonymous and only answerable to the President.  Rodman reportedly asked if the title Czar could be changed to Secretary. It is unknown at this time whether that request will be honored.

Obama, citing recent House hearings that showed the loss to the government of hundreds of millions of dollars each year due to the practice of allowing of states to issue tax-free bonds to large corporations, to build stadiums and other sports facilities, as the reason for this new Czar.

[The following are actual excerpts from House Of Representatives records]

Opening Statement
Of
Dennis J. Kucinich, Chairman
Domestic Policy Subcommittee
Oversight and Government Reform Committee
Thursday, September 18, 2008
2154 Rayburn HOB
10:00 a.m.
“Gaming the Tax Code: Public Subsidies, Private Profits, and Big League Sports in New York.”

This is the Domestic Policy Subcommittee’s third hearing in the last year and a half on the federal government’s subsidization of the construction of professional sports stadiums through the federal tax code.

The stadium project has already *benefitted from the issuance of over $940 million of tax-exempt bonds. The tax exemption on these bonds will save the Yankees well over $100 million in interest costs, a subsidy that will cost federal taxpayers almost $200 million in lost tax revenues…

*Les: see, it’s not just me, even Congress can’t spell.

This issue surfaced about ten years ago, but due to interference by Republican congressmen, little was ever done to solve this enormous leak in federal tax revenue. While the past eight years have seen a former, rich, baseball club owner in the White House.

The President said he would see that the government gets its fair share, since the banking bailouts went to institutions that have financial interest in these teams and facilities. These company’s  over-bloated, fat cat corporate, high roller executives -who’s salaries will be capped at $500,000- are just the first to feel cuts.

Rodman will be charged with ensuring that all owners of these teams and their players will be similarly capped at $500,000. The windfall profits gained by seizing the excess in salaries above the cap will benefit Climate Change research and trans-gender awareness programs.

Les James has more snide comments about the new admisnstration at Sideshow Mirrors.

Are you sick of hearing about Obama-mania? Tired of all the Chosen One’s infomercials? Me too.

Obama merchandise is everywhere. Bobble heads, thongs, Barack Obama photos, coins, plates, sheets, baseball cards, the list seems endless. You’d think you were in Jerusalem during Easter and these guys were selling pieces of the cross.  Even Billy Mays has gotten in on the act.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any of that shit.

Hi, I’m Les James.  I’ve never tried to sell you anything but today I want to share with you, an alternative means of helping you to stimulate the economy.  If you’re  a conservative like I am, you want to spend you hard earned cash on cool stuff  that you want, not crap that’s shoved down your throats.

Liberals are weak and will buy anything that’s slickly packaged. But we know, you’re too smart to be taken in by some smooth talking pitch man. We’re not even going to try.  We know that it’s the performance of the product that should do the talking, and you want to buy from someone you trust, someone with a proven track record.

That’s why we created RL Gear by Radioactive Liberty.  The staff and management of this political humor blog, wants you to be able to blow your wad on quality items you really want.  And after seeing what we have to offer, blow your wad you will!

[ed: The unfortunate phrasing above is just a metaphor, no actual wad blowing will occur]

Carbon Offset Credits, Global Warming, Climate Change, Cap and Trade.  What a crock!  The lies are so thick, that there’s not enough room left to swing a dead, baby harp seal.

[ed: Not a metaphor. A real, dead baby harp seal was used  in this attempt]

Want to make a statement? Let the left know what you think about it all? RL Gear has the products for you.

Every time those morons in Washington open their mouths they expel (amongst other things) CO2.  When are we going to get Cap and Trade on that? Show you’re not a hypocrite, and crack open a can or bottle today!

How about an econo-box that you’ll actually enjoy driving…up and over the moonbats and hippies in your way, and maybe a few who weren’t? MPG? Hah! More like GMP!

But wait, there’s more!

For the gun-toting, bible clutchers on your list, how about giving them an Obama image, on a gift they’ll really enjoy? Even if you don’t own a shotgun, our clay pigeons are just plain fun to throw at walls… or politicians! On impact, these little beauties shatter into 825 Billion pieces. Just like all of Obama’s promises of hope and change.

Hey guys, we all know how much fun it is to write our yellow names in the snow. It’s a joy few women will ever understand. And remember when you were little and you pretended that you were a fire truck? Relive those bygone days and be  the man you always knew you could be. Go ahead, be a Big Dick guy.

Those maggot-encrusted faeries needed a good washing anyway.

Ladies! Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you. Here’s a little item that you’ll want everyone see.  The sexist males at RL Gear only sell these silky panties in XS, S & M -that’s women’s extra small, small and medium.  And you must be at least 18 years of age to order.

So please, go ahead and give us a peak!

OK, maybe the panties are as much for us guys as that are for you gals. But at least we’re honest. Despite rumors to the contrary, there’s no limp-wristed, man purse carrying, metros around here.  This is real man country. And we love you ladies dearly.

So order yours today!

And if you order before midnight tonight, you won’t get anything else. We’re not into gimmicks. 

This is Les James for RL Gear by Radioactive Liberty saying, stop being such a wuss.  Be conservative  Buy conservative. Buy RL Gear*. You’ll be glad you did.

*The items listed above are priced much like dinning at a fine restaurant, if you have to ask, you can’t afford it. Subject to all applicable local, state, federal, and Obama taxes. But you won’t have to pay them all until Charlie Rangel and Tim Geithner do.

[In an update, looks like Tom Daschle has decide to pay-to-play. He's going to pay taxes and penalties that he "forgot" he owed on the over 2 million he made by speaking to the health industry. He's embarrassed. Isn't that nice? No problem though, there's no conflict of interest here. Everyone should get loads of cash from the very people they are to oversee.]

Want RL Gear for your very own?  Here’s your chance. Just download these funny pictures and keep ‘em for yourself, give ‘em as gifts, or republish ‘em. The cost? Just attribute these images to this site. Nice huh?

Les James is here ever Monday and the rest of the week he’s at his own humor blog, Sideshow Mirrors.

Uncle Barack Wants You

With the myriad problems that face our nation today, problems like people getting rich, businesses making profits, workers not belonging to unions, and poverty in Africa, we need every American to work towards bettering America. Uncle Barack feels there is a great, untapped resource of citizens with the proper mindset to help this country make great strides towards economic and social justice. Uncle Barack is going to tap middle-school students, and retirees to shape this country in His image.

It’s clear that these two groups of Americans have way too much free time on their hands. We should stop our middle school students playing soccer, playing video games, and trolling blogs. We should stop our retirees playing golf, R.V.ing, and running for president. We need these groups to channel their energies in a much more productive direction. We need them to man the soup kitchens, to speak to underserved groups in the ghetto about how whitey is keeping them down, and to fly to Darfur to hold signs protesting the genocide. What better way for a ten year old to learn geography than by flying them to Somalia to learn about how benevolent warlords care for the people of that country.

We all know that rich white executives from the suburbs do not want their tax dollars to go to inner-city children. Instead we’re going to send their children, and their elderly parents to the inner-city to collect recyclables.

Of course all this service will be completely voluntary. Uncle Barack and his team would oppose any efforts to embarass children who do not agree with with this policy. Nor would he try to silence any critics of these programs in the media. Uncle Barack feels that there is room for all view points in the new, post-racial, post-political, America, and he would never try to force anyone into service, or to punish those who choose not to be a part of providing the American Dream to every American.

So parents, what you need to do is teach your kid ebonics and Spanish. We need to ensure that our children can communicate with the under served communities that we are going to serve. Retirees, sell your R.V.s and golf clubs so you can do your part to make the world a better place for our children to serve.

Read more of JumpOut at his own Law Enforcement Humor and Political Satire Blog, You Should Be Tasered