Political Humor

Yeah, I know, the House is going to vote today to take the next step toward European Socialism, through Obama Care. But I thought we needed a break. Kind of funny though, here it’s Sunday and they seem to have decided not to use the Slaughter “Demon Pass” Solution. That’s what they said. I heard it.

Somewhere in the White House

Obama: Rahm, put some clothes on and bring in the next House Member.

Emanuel: mumble, mumble…bring ‘em in yourself, you lazy little…

Obama: What’d you say!

Emanuel: Ah… I was saying I can’t find my pants.

Obama: I hate it when that happens. Wrap a towel around your tush and get whoever’s next in here. I’m not sure how long these batteries will last.

Emanuel: Okay, you. Go up, kiss the President’s ring and have a seat.

Congressman: Yeah fine, but stop poking me in the chest. Ah, Mr. President, what a pleasure it is for me to kiss your…

Obama: Hey, watch it. Don’t tongue my jewels. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get slobber out of one of these rings? Just, just… go sit on that hassock and face me. Rahm, kill the lights.

Congressman: Whoa, it’s kind of dark in here. Anyway, Mr President I can’t tell how much of an honor it for me to have a chance to speak to you, one on one like this, about jobs. My state’s unemployment…

Obama: What ever. Listen, let me make this clear, right after all the other stuff, my primary focus is on jobs. I have a Laser-like Focus.

Congressman: What’s… What’s that little red light on my jacket? Do…ah. Is ah, ah Rahm Emanuel pointing a..a weapon at me? Mr. President, you KNOW I’m here for you. There’s no need to…

Obama: ♫ Relax.
♫ Scheme those schemes
♫ Got to hit me
♫ Hit me
♫ Hit me with those laser beams

Congressman: Huh?

Obama: This just reminds me of an old 80′s, Frankie goes to Hollywood song. Stop your worrying, no one’s pointing a weapon at you. What you’re seeing is my Laser-like Focus.

Congressman: Oh. Oh…you had me worried there for a minute. Oh! I get it. You mean you have a laser pointer you’re using as an idiom for your focus.

Emanuel: I think you mean, analogy. Kant’s Critique of Judgment succinctly argues…

Congressman: Figures you’d quote a philosopher with your name. I believe you may call it a metaphor, but never…

Emanuel: Metaphor? If anything, it’s closer to an allegory than a …

Obama: Both of you, knock it off! It’s not any of those words, it’s my Laser-like Focus dammit, and don’t forget it. Now Congressman, you need to see the light. Rahm.

Congressman: What are you doing behind me?

Emanuel: I’m just going to hold your eyes open so you can see the truth, Alex. Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

Congressman: My name’s not Alex… Hey, if you have both hands holding my eyes open, what’s poking me in…

Obama: Rahm.

Emanuel: What? I’ve only got two hands. You can’t expect me to hold the towel too.

Congressman: Ah, Mr. President, please watch were you’re shinning that laser pointer…

Obama: Laser-like Focus! Laser-like Focus!

Congressman: Yes, Mr. President, but please don’t shine it in… OH MY EYES! It burns!

Emanuel: Now you’re going to feel a little prick.

Congressman: I think I already…Ouch! What did you inject me with? I feel…ohooooooo…

Emanuel: I think he’s ready. I’ll turn the lights back on. Now where did I drop that towel?

Obama: To answer you question Congressman, you’ve been drugged and blinded by the light. Man, those 80′s tunes are catchy.

Emanuel: Actually, it was recorded in 1973 by Springsteen…

Obama: Great Freaking Teddy’s Ghost, do you ever shut-up? Holy crap. Where was I? Oh yeah. Congressman, repeat after me. I will vote for anything President Obama wants.

Congressman: I will vote for anything President Obama wants.

Obama: I will support the Democrat Party and ensure my President’s legacy.

Congressman: I will support the Democrat Party and ensure my President’s legacy.

Obama: Rahm. Get him out of here and bring in the next one.

Congressman: Rahm. Get him out of here and bring in the next one.

Just in time for the holidays, and loosely based on a Disney classic, Fascistasia: The Soros Apprentice is a short series of  Photoshoped images. They are designed to invoke the spirit of giving President Obama and Congress have decided we deserve.