Political Humor

Undeterred by his recent set-backs, President Obama and his band of Merry Men (Hillary included) wants to take untold billions, maybe trillions of U.S. dollars and give it all to a non-working, non-taxpaying, non-US citizen, minority.

With no mailing address, no phone number, no email, no way of even verifying whereabouts, we’re all ready to just give our hard earned money to a nebulous entity.  Okay,it’s not really our money, it’s China’s. They’re just letting us play with it for a while.

Doesn’t at all surprise any of us does it? You know, spending all this money for something so necessary that if we don’t do it right now, absolutely horrible things will happen. Except this time we’re not going to hear the droning, left-wing mantra “Do it for the children,” because these child abusers are doing it to our children.

So if it’s not for the kids, and I’ll tell you right now it’s not for you or me, then just who is the beneficiary of this loathsome pecuniary levy?

Surprise! It’s the environment. Isn’t that just peachy?

It seems it needs a lot of money, but the environment deserves it, it worked hard this year. Call it a bonus.

You know what a government bonus is, right? No? That’s when we taxpayers bend over, and they bonus! Okay, not original, but still funny.

Multi-billions is a staggering amount, so just how are we going to deliver all of this cash? Well that’s easy really. As the money comes in, it’s going to be placed under a very large pillow. Then in the middle of the night, the Climate Change Fairy will sashay in and take it to the environment. It’s all for a good cause, you know, health care…just not yours.

We’re going to raise the prices on everything produced, through Cap and Trade, to try to bring down the environment’s fever and no, I have no idea where the thermometer goes. And another thought that crosses my mind, how do we know what the correct temperature of the environment is? Has anyone asked it?

I’ve never seen the environment interviewed on TV, so I’m not sure if we know that it wants it’s temp lowered, or anything else for that matter. I mean, we’re flying kind of blind here. Does the CIA, NSA or NOAA have any good intel on this issue? We don’t what this to become another WMDs in Iraq fiasco.

When you think about it, the environment is kind of scary. It’s REALLY BIG.  Not only that, but it’s not a member of NATO, the EU, the UN, or any other organization I can think of. Is it rogue? Surely it’s not still mad at us. We got rid of George W. Bush.

These are important questions with far reaching implications. What if the environment goes on strike, or holds its breath until it turns blue? It could be like, totally bad.  Isn’t it time we held talks with the environment, without pre-conditions? Do you think it will welcome us as liberators?

Les James has all the right answers.  The problem is, the questions are all wrong.

Tired of this? Read on. It only gets worse.

The following is an official message from the United States Department Of Acronyms

DOA (not to be confused with the Department of the Army, DA) will release, early next week, a series of new, catchy “words” to help abbreviate cumbersome verbiage surrounding newly formed government programs and official groups or titles.

The DOA has been a little known, but highly influential department for more than sixty years. Many of these acronymised phrases have found their way into the every day lexicon of American speech. Coming from the WWII era are the now familiar, SNAFU (Situation Normal, All Fouled Up) and the more profane, FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition)

Beginning in 1969, SALT (Strategic Arms Limitations Talks) -leading to START (Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty)- gained household usage. Most recently, the DOA has brought you TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program).

The complexity, scope and actual meaning of these terms are considerably diminished by the use of such acronyms, but that is by design. Long before being made official, by an obscure clause in the Paperwork Reduction Act of 1995, most government agencies and the majority of elected officials had voluntarily chosen not to be very specific about any program, legislation, bill or law.

This seeming lack of specificity or “failure to verbalize details” has prompted the DOA to issue the following definitions, so as to clear up any misconceptions, prior to the release of these new acronyms.

TURD (Task force Undertaking Responsible Deficits) A Bi-Camberal committee, made up of Democrats and one token Republican -Snowe, Spector and Collins are being considered- to oversee the creation of the CRAP.

…Snowe, Spector and Collins are being considered -to oversee the creation of the CRAP

CRAP (Congressional Revenue Action Plan): Working closely with President Obama, the TURD will create the CRAP, which in turn, will produce a number of FARTs.

FART (Financial Assistance and Response Team): These teams will be responsible to be the vanguard of the effort to stem the flow of any drain on the economy. These “Fiscal Engineers” will use actual dollars to attempt to plug any hole found in the Stimulus Package, SPII, SPIII or TARP II or III. They are also the “eyes and ears” of this program and will report directly to the TURD. Most will be deployed in the open but some will be undercover or stealth.

BLIND (Beyond Legally Inferred Normal Definitions): Special actions taken by the FARTs, as authorized by the  CRAP, to insure “fair and equitable” economic recovery.

SHIT (Specific Help In Taxation): FARTs will be empowered to levy “targeted windfall additional taxation” upon individuals, groups or companies seen as not paying their “sensible share”.

In the coming weeks, official releases will be coming out using these new acronyms. A sample of what might be seen is provided below.

The Congressional TURD has passed the CRAP to President Obama. He is expected to initiate the CRAP in a ceremony on the White House lawn later today. Chief of Staff, Rob Emanuel said, “The Crap has passed the smell test. I fully expect the President to release the first FARTs very soon.”

There are likely to be a large number of FARTs released prior to any movement in the economic recovery area.

In the case of a FART discovering a wealthy person or institution that does not seem to be complying with the Fair and Equitable Rule of the CRAP, they will be referred to the TURD, prior to taking any action. The Congressional TURD will send its recommendations to the President.

Ultimately it will be the responsibility of President Obama whether the FART should SHIT or go BLIND.

The DOA hopes this clarifies this matter for you. If you have any questions regarding this or any other acronym, send a SASE to our PO Box and we’ll have an answer for you ASAP. Thank you.

Les James thinks farts are always funny and so are doctored pictures of Obuttma. Political humor and Satire by Radioactive Liberty encougages you to spread this funny picture wide, just like wealth.

Last night we witnessed an historic event, President Obama‘s first, prime time news conference. We as a nation, are compelled to celebrate each of  these earth moving first, the same as we would for anyone in their first year.  Remember baby’s first poopy diaper? Baby’s first birthday? Baby’s first word, step, tooth…

Each of these monumental first are to be treasured.  As a fitting tribute, this political humor blog would like to recap President Obama’s riveting speech about his economic stimulus package.