Political Humor

Since an extra numeral of the date will change in a few hours, society obligates me to acknowledge this arbitrary time tracking system by posting a roundup of the best political humor of the last 365 solar cycles.

Before I proceed, I want to talk about your favorite subject — Me.

Lately, I’ve been required to do a lot of driving a forklift. If you’ve never driven a forklift, you might not have any idea just how different it is from driving a car. When you are driving a car and you turn the wheel hard to the left and then let go of the wheel, the car straightens out on it’s own. If you wanted to straighten out on a forklift, you would have to turn hard right in order to go straight again.

We’ve turned so far left in this country that we’re going to have to spin five turns to the right just to get going down the center again.

The best posts of 2009 are determined by random drawing. No. That isn’t right. Popularity as determined by Google Analytics will be the judge, so if you don’t like the order, complain to Google. Then beat a hippie. It will make you feel better. They may even have a few at Google.

Sadly, I realized the top 6 posts of 2009, by page view, are from either 2007 or 2008. Actually, most of the top 40 were from previous years. Political Humor is the gift that keeps on giving. As a result, I have unilaterally disqualified anything not published in 2009.

The Most Popular Political Humor Posts of 2009

11. Chris offers some Tips on Avoiding Swine Flu to begin the countdown. What, you thought this would be a top TEN list? We go against the grain here at RadioactiveLiberty.com. That’s what makes us the best.

10. The number ten entry seems to be an advertisement of some sort, but looks can be deceiving. Look a little closer and you will notice Economic Stimulus Funny Pictures by Les James.

9. The 2009 Summer Blockbuster movies came and went. They Call Me Senator Boxer was a favorite of Les James while I was partial to The World According to Gore. I like comedy. Especially the ones with inept fat guys.

One time I read some advice that if you want to have interested readers, you should talk about them. I think this advice sounds stupid and ridiculous, but since the year is almost over, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it a go. If it does, I’ll just beat a hippie, and that will surely make me feel better.

Did you ever think about how metaphors sometimes are more accurate than we give credit for? Did you ever have an idea in the back of your mind? If you were to go into a cat scan it would show activity in the back region of the brain. Do you get sick and tired of things? Do you notice if you frequently suffer illness? What might happen if you got fed up instead? You might lose some weight.

Enough about you. You’re boring and tedious to write about. Back to the list.

8. If you remember Jumpout (We miss you man. Come back), He televised a steel cage match between Rush Limbaugh and Obama. It was very entertaining.

7. President Obama offers some sage advice about work from home business job opportunities.

6. Les James introduced a line of political humor merchandise in 2009. Obama Coins are out, RL Gear is here. Speaking of merchandise…

For the naysayers, those who would not believe that it was possible to make money writing political humor, You can now have your crow and eat it too. This site has turned into a literal funnel of cash, raking in money hand over fist for a whopping sum of $79.24. That’s nearly enough to pay for the hosting, which will be due in February. Think about that. I wrote – what – 3 posts or something like that this year and made a cool 80 bucks. I am seriously considering giving Les and Chris a 50% raise. Merry Christmas.

5. Teabaggers and teaparties and Glenn Beck, Oh My! The 9-12 March on Washington Pictures.

4. In the fourth position, we find out what Obama would do to save money.

What would Obama do? Sorry Les and Chris, a raise will just put you in a higher tax bracket. I cannot in good conscience allow you to be punished for your achievement, so I’m cutting your pay by 50% to save money. Don’t blame me. It’s what Obama would do.

3. The second runner up is actually named to be a runner up. Penultimately Bad Obama Jokes and Funny Pictures captures the bronze.

2. Aptly, number two, has to do with a giant pile of crap, as advertised by on of this year’s untimely deaths, Billy Mays. Billy Mays, Obama Amazing TV Offer.

Speaking of piles of crap, 2009 heralded the new Obama plan for Hope in Afghanistan. The Obama plan calls for the US to hope in one cargo plane and shit in the other. As soon as the planes are full, they will fly over Afghanistan and drop their load. Personally, I think it’s a good plan, because I know which plane will fill up first. The question is, will the people of Afghanistan notice a difference?

1. The number one political humor post of 2009 is by our licensed doctor of photoshoptography, Les James. Potty humor rules the day with the Smell of Economic recovery. That’s how we roll here at RL.

If nothing else, 2009 had it’s ups. It had it’s downs. It had it’s atrocious cliches. It had a missing owner to a popular website. In summary and as a fitting epitaph, I will leave you with this: As I heard a wise man once say, “the best thing about the past is that it’s over.”

Goodbye 2009. And good riddance.

Happy New Year!

A lot of fuss has been made about President Obama bowing to Japanese Emperor Akihito. For some reason, people seem to think that it is poor form for the leader of the United States of America to act in a manner that appears subservient to some dirty foreigner.

I, however, am under the belief that there has simply been a big misunderstanding. Through spectral analysis, and a bunch of other sciencey and engineerific methods, I have been able to thoroughly examine the photo of Obama bowing and come to the conclusion that he was NOT, in fact, bowing.

Harvey at Imao.Us surmised that Obama made a botched attempt at curtseying. This is also incorrect.

In order to come to a proper conclusion, you must first realize that Obama is not a sissy. Nor is he stupid. He doesn’t do things like get a bucket stuck on his head, or fix oil shortages with tire pressure. And he doesn’t just wantonly apologize for everything.

Just take a hit from your breathalyzer before going into your hyperventilating hysterics. Or at least use an inhalator.

However, he is the Messiah. So, it stands to reason that he is very taken by his own reflection. Even when that reflection is on the floor.

Or it could have been that he thought he saw a teleprompter there.

Offer your explanation. What is Obama looking at down there?

Barack Obama is in the Oval Office with Bob Gibbs…

Obama: “Bob, send that Jon Favreau kid in here. I need a speech written and I also want to compliment him on the great job he did in Couples Retreat.”

Bob: “That’s another Jon Favreau sir, the actor and director. Our John is the youngest speech writer ever, remember?”

Obama: “Yes, that’s right. I’ve been so busy getting things done in my first nine months I got them confused.”

Jon enters the Oval Office and sits down across from Obama.

Jon: “You needed me sir?”

Obama: “Jon, no need to salute me. Put your right hand and arm down.”

Jon: “Yes sir.”

Obama: “Jon, I’m going to Switzerland tomorrow and I need a good speech. I want to let them know that even though we have been enemies we hold out our hand in peace.”

Jon: “I think Switzerland is a neutral country.”

Obama: “Let me be clear. We must have something to apologize to them for.”

Jon: “Hmm they did recently arrest Roman Polanski.”

Obama: “He’s not supposed to be arrested. He’s one of us. How did that happen?”

Bob: “You authorized Eric Holder to sign off on the arrest warrant.”

Obama: “Oh yes, I remember now. I’ve been so busy with the Olympics and making decisions on Afghanistan…have you seen my Nobel Prize Jon?”

Jon: “You’ve shown it to me numerous times. Quite remarkable I might add. About the speech…”

Obama: “Of course. Let’s apologize for arresting Polanski then.”

Jon: “Done and done.”

Bob: “Only seventy-three more countries on the appeasement list.”

Obama: “Who’s next?”

Bob: “Luxembourg.”

Obama: “Jon, include them too in the speech. Apologize for World War Two.”

Jon: “I think they were our allies.”

Obama: “Make no mistake. We must have done something to offend them, especially in the last eight years.”

Jon: “I’ll add a line or two about Bush’s policies.”

Obama: “Good. That should do it. One thing though Jon. Save your energy because we have a big speech to write next week.”

Jon: “China sir?”

Obama: “You bet. We have to apologize for the Dali Lama’s visit.”

Jon: “But you didn’t meet with him.”

Obama: “We let him come to America. China must be mad at us.”

Bob: “We did order the Empire State Building to use red and yellow lighting to mark the anniversary of communist China.”

Obama: “Yes but make no mistake. We owe them an apology.”

Jon: “So is that it sir? I’d like to get started on the speech.”

Obama: “You may go.”

Jon leaves the Oval Office

Obama: “Damn it!”

Bob: “What is it sir?”

Obama: “I forgot to ask him when Iron Man II is coming out.”

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Chris Cameron is a writer/columnist/beat reporter for Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd form of mostly non-political humor at his blog Angry Seafood.