Political Humor

The yummy frozen snack that is the Klondike bar is so good people are tempted to do anything to get one, even to go as far as men having their privates waxed.

Radioactive Liberty asks some politicians and celebrities what they would do…

Dick Cheney: “I would tell the truth about the CIA’s secret missions during the War on Terror-it was Bush’s fault.”

Barack Obama: “I would call my wife a wookie.”

Joe Biden: “I would say something really stupid…wait did I just say that out loud?”

President Ahmadinejad of Iran: “I would not kill a Jew.”

Verne Troyer: “I would head butt Lou Ferrigno in the groin.”

Ted Kennedy: “……………….”

Sarah Palin: “I would read a newspaper.”

Barney Frank: “I would sleep with Ann Coutler or even a woman.”

Van Jones: “I would renounce what I said about communism…hold on this isn’t the What would I do to keep my Green Jobs Czar position question?”

Nancy Pelosi: “I would sell my soul…wait I already did that.”

John McCain: “I would give up my 10% senior discount at Applebee’s.”

Ann Coulter: “I would make out with Hillary Clinton.”

Data from Star Trek: “I would compute the various permutations and calculate the myriad of responses I could give then feed that into a complex algorithm–”

We will umm get back to you on that one Data.

Do you have any politicians or celebrities in mind that were not mentioned that would do anything for a Klondike bar? Leave your ideas in the comments below.

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Chris Cameron is a writer/columnist/beat reporter here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his stuff at his humor blog Angry Seafood as well as his serious political site Clearly Political.

This week’s edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about North Korea and the Grand Canyon…

Looks like Kim Jong Il Woke Up on the Wrong Side of the Floor Again

Apparently the leader of North Korea has returned to his penchant for crawling inside whiskey bottles:

“North Korea followed recent conciliatory gestures toward the U.S. and South Korea with a return to threats Sunday, warning them of “merciless retaliation” over sanctions imposed on its government, and nuclear attacks in response to any atomic provocation.”

To make good on their threat North Korea hired Jim “Wash Out” Pfaffenbach from Hot Shots to be in charge of aiming the missiles.

I think anything Jong says is like a strange text message from a drunken teenager at two in the morning. Perhaps Texts From Last Night should have a section for politicians…

“(2): Haha just learned changing my launch code passwords is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.”

“(2): I am so wasted right now and I think I just gave those two reporters to Mr. Clinton.”

(The 2 area code number is for Pyongyang by the way. I know, I am guilty of breaking my own rule of explaining a joke but the reference is very obscure.)

Obama Plans to Eliminate Deficit by Burying It in Grand Canyon

After touring the Grand Canyon, Barack Obama made a surprise announcement to the press:

“The majestic beauty and sheer size of the monument was inspirational. When I get back to Washington I will be signing an executive order that buries our nation’s budget deficit of $2 trillion in the Grand Canyon. No longer will the United States bear the burden of having to pay for the mistakes of the previous administration.”

Imagine how much more popular the Grand Canyon will be now. Not only can you go there to see an amazing natural landmark but also a place where Obama can effectively hide all the money his administration is spending.

Think of the possibilities when it comes to the souvenir sales…

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his odd take on things at his own humor blog Angry Seafood and his serious take on politics at Clearly Political.

This week’s edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about Republican Moonbats, Tim Geithner, and teen strippers …

There Are Moonbats on the Right Too

So has Ron Paul’s whacko fan base become bored with the whole Truther thing? Obama’s birth certificate is the issue that will not go away thanks to the crazies on the right:

In an attempt to quash persistent rumors that President Obama was not born in Honolulu on Aug. 4, 1961, Hawaii’s health director reiterated this afternoon that she has personally seen Obama’s birth certificate in the Health Department’s archives.

The Birther people are obviously nuttier than a fruitcake. They have to be insane to push for something that would result in Joe Biden becoming President.

Joe Biden!

He would make a great commander-in-chief of course because he is the smartest guy in the room. Just ask him. And the Birthers too.

Treasury Secretary Doth Bringeth the Smackdown

Tim Geithner met with Chinese officials to put any doubts to rest that the US government is still solvent:

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner pledged to rein in the U.S. deficit as China underscored concern about preserving the value of its $801.5 billion of Treasury holdings.

The U.S. will ensure a “sustainable” deficit by 2013, Geithner said at the beginning of the first round of Strategic and Economic Dialogue talks under President Barack Obama in Washington.

RL Political Humor Quick Hits has obtained an exclusive copy of the transcript of his speech:

Tim: “We will rein in the deficit.”

Snickers and laughter from the Chinese officials

Tim: “No really, we will ensure sustainable deficits in the next four years.”

More snickering and laughter

Tim: “Come on I’m serious!”

Even more snickering and laughter

Tim: “Okay fine. You want to dance? Okay let’s dance! I’ll just keep printing more money.”

With that said, according to the transcript, Geithner abruptly left the meeting and told the Treasury to “fire up the printing presses”.

You go Geithner!

Underage Strippers in Rhode Island Do Not Break Labor Laws

From the “Do anything to boost teen employment” department:

Rhode Island teens under 18 can’t work with power saws or bang nails up on roofs.

But dance at strip clubs? Sure. Just as long as the teens submit work permits, and are off the stripper’s pole by 11:30 on school nights.

I think this is a great idea. There are a lot of teen girls who never got the attention of their fathers growing up. When daddy missed every one of your dance recitals, the best way to try and restore that self-esteem is to embark on a career in stripping.

On a side note Rhode Island also passed a law whereby the “I thought she was eighteen” excuse is a legitimate defense for hooking up with an underage stripper.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his odd take on things at his own humor blog Angry Seafood and his serious take on politics at Clearly Political.