Political Humor

With a Barack Obama Kremlin-ship, I mean Presidency on the way it is time to look at potential choices for some key members of his administration’s Cabinet.

Ministry of Treasury: Comrade Armando Montelongo

This position will be the most important component of a Barack Obama Cabinet because of the tough economic climate. There are also a ton of real estate assets that the government now own and Obama will need someone experienced at the task ahead: flipping distressed, over-valued properties and turning them into profit-makers.

Who better to do this then Armando Montelongo, famed house-flipping expert?

Ministry of the Office of Management and Budget: Comrade Jim Johnson

Even with the record amount of revenues from all the home sales, Barack Obama will still need trillions more for his social programs so the government can provide free health care, auto insurance, college educations, automobiles, food, appliances, and magazine subscriptions for every single person in America regardless of citizenship, as long as you make under $30,000.

Jim Johnson, the former CEO of Fannie Mae was better then most at creating money and I have a feeling we will need a lot of it to pay for the Kool-Aid, or if you prefer Flavor-Aid. Besides, he was Walter Mondale’s campaign manager so that shows he knows what he is doing.

Minstry of State: Comrade William Ayers

This is a tough choice because Ayers would be great for Secretary of Education. He proved that when teamed up with Obama and given a crapload of money Bill accomplished nothing towards improving education. Seeing that math and science scores have consistently been horrible it would be best to have more of that consistency.

However, I think Ayers’ former connections with some of the people we are not getting along with places like Vietnam and Cuba would help forge new relationships with countries returning from the Communist graveyard. He’s the best man to bring them back into the fold.

Ministry of the Interior: Comrade Tony Rezko

While Tony has no experience whatsoever in this area, it always seems like the Interior is the shadiest department of the U.S. Government. Meriting that achievement is impressive being that the convicted felon Ted Stevens won re-election. To be fair the convictions were a whole week ago and everyone says not to dwell in the past right?

Ministry of the Surgeon General: Comrade Jesse Jackson

Jesse Jackson is the obvious choice for this appointment because let’s face it testicular cancer is a possibility for all men. Who better to take care of this problem then the man willing to volunteer to do the surgery on our own President? We can even have Ron Paul walk him through the procedure being a licensed doctor and all.

I am assuming Obama has balls of course. We will find out real soon if he actually does.

Really we will, Comrade Biden said so.

Chris Cameron writes this odd weekly humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his own brand of funny at his humor blog Angry Seafood.

There is always mudslinging going on, some of it fun political humor, like when Obama is made fun of for saying there are 57 states. Some is disparaging like made-up stories about Sarah Palin pretending her grandchild is actually immediate family. We had no idea the venom the Liberals were capable of spewing until a woman that wasn’t a Democrat ran for Vice President.

It was like the left side of the blogsphere had their meds wear off at the same time, the free Wifi network at Starbucks shuddering under the intense strain of all those liberal moonbats rushing to make sh*t up on the internet. They made Chevy Chase’s behavior at the DNC look subdued and conservative.

But man can those Democrats sling the mud. I can see Andrew Jackson and John Adams wiping tears from their eyes in Heaven, or Hell I guess depending on your viewpoint.

Those two, by the way were the forefathers of the modern day mudslinger. In the Election of 1828, Jackson’s wife was called a ‘dirty black wench‘, his mom a prostitute, and his father a mulatto, apparently by one of Keith Olberman’s ancestors.

Adams was attacked for being rich as well as traveling on Sundays, and having premarital sex with his wife. At least this John didn’t have a love child with a video producer, right Mr. Edwards?

Speaking of South Carolina, John McCain was the victim of some nasty mudslinging in that state’s 2000 Primary when his supporters were called by push-pollers and asked if they would support him if they knew he had an illegitimate black child. Forget mud, someone backed up a concrete mixing truck and unloaded it for crying out loud.

When you get bitch-slapped that hard it is no wonder you vote with Bush 90% of the time. That’s mudslinging for you.

The best is when the candidates themselves do the dirty work. This was the famous ‘Daisy Girl’ ad for Lyndon Johnson’s campaign in 1964:

(Video Link)

With the production values of a crappy YouTube video, it doesn’t seem scary to people today but this ad freaked people out so much it was only run once. Guess who won the election?

The topper was of course Lyndon Johnson’s voice-over. He didn’t use a specialist like the now-departed expert Don LaFontaine. Imagine Barack Obama doing this? The guy needs a teleprompter in the bathroom for crying out loud.

Whoops did I just mudsling?

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political drivel every Thursday for Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his other attempts at being funny on his own humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is the home for funny blogs and pigs with lipstick. Just have a few drinks before you click there and it will look a lot better.

Image Credit: Penguin Pete’s

Ive got a chip on my shoulder; Got a monkey on my back
Got a lot of things to say; And I think Im gonna crack
Cant buy a smile off the worlds happiest man; No huggin trees today
‘Cause I hate everything ~Suicide Machines

I hate everything!

I’m so angry from always hating everything. That makes me so angry. I hate it.

I hate money. I hate making money. I hate people who make money. I hate people who have more money than me. I hate people who have more money than me and don’t give it to Ron Paul. Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul!

I hate Publishers Clearing House. I think I’ll go to www.pch.com and tell them how much I hate them. They should donate the prize money to Ron Paul for President. Ron Paul!

I hate people who make fun of our Christ and Savior, Ron Paul. I hate posts that aren’t about the greatness that is Ron Paul. I hate posts that aren’t about Ron Paul at all.

• Ron Jeremy Ron Paul!
• Ron Popeil Ron Paul!
• Ron Howard Ron Paul!
• The Apostle Paul Ron Paul!
• Les Paul Ron Paul!
• Paul McCartney Ron Paul!

Ron Paul!

I hate being too young to vote for Ron Paul.

I hate Siberian tigers named Tatiana that escape from the zoo and maul people. If Ron Paul was President no tigers would escape from the zoo and maul people… And we wouldn’t have any dirty Southerners in our country, because the South would have seceded from the US, because Ron Paul wouldn’t have fought the Civil War.

I hate water boarding. I can make anything about water boarding. Scuba diving water boarding. They both involve getting wet.

It’s a shame that a 4 year old girl got brutally gang raped in preschool while the teachers stood by and watched, but what does that have to do with Bushitler’s policy on water boarding.

Buried for not being about torture at Gitmo.

This tragic rape of a 4 year old shows the brutality being encouraged by the Bush Junta’s policy on water boarding.

+1 to the previous comment for pwning the Chimp in Charge. Mission accomplished?

Ron Paul will stop the practice of water boarding!

+1 for Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul!

See! I can make anything be about Ron Paul. I didn’t even read that one, but I buried it because the headline said “President Bush” instead of “pResident Bu$h.”

I hate living in my parents’ basement. It’s dark in here. I hate being a worthless troll with nothing better to do than hijack every post and make it about how much I hate the Commander in Chimp… And Ron Paul.

Ron Paul!

I hate Micro$oft. I hate Microshaft. I hate Microsuck. I love Apple. Apple FTW! Ipod OMFGZW!

I hate Fox News. I think Faux News is biased, but Raw Story is fair, balanced, and accurate. Faux News never talks about Ron Paul. Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Ron Paul!

I hate being a ham-fisted wiener kid. No, really. I was born with ham hocks for hands. I hate eating my hands. But they’re so damn tasty. Lousy tasty ham hock hands.

Ron Paul doesn’t have ham hocks for hands… Just for a brain.

Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Ron Paul!

I hate everything because I am your average, ordinary Digg user.

I hate Humor-Blogs.com.

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