Political Humor

Hillary Clinton’s thirty-plus years of public service have been amazing. For example, last week she reluctantly admitted that she ‘helped bring peace to Northern Ireland.’

For some reason, Hillary’s view of her own career reminds me of those Chuck Norris jokes about how he could beat everyone up in real life.

But in Hillary Clinton’s version of the Chuck Norris joke, she kicked Chuck’s ass, made him cry and cured cancer. All in a day’s work for the second-place Presidential candidate I guess.

Clinton once claimed to bring peace to the Middle East by providing the pen for Bill to sign the stunningly-successful Oslo Accords. It was a Cross pen by the way.

Hillary helped win the War on Poverty. I don’t know why this is a big deal. You don’t even need Chuck Norris, just a well-armed police action. It worked so well for the War on Drugs so success a second time around was no surprise.

Hillary Clinton the Uniter

Hillary brought George Dubya and John McCain together again in an uncomfortable reunion and endorsement of the 72-year-old man. Hopes are high for the Republicans this Presidential election year, as the party unites to fight the evil Democrats.

Hillary helped pass the Patriot Act. It changed money laundering laws and led to Eliot Spitzer getting busted for paying thousands of dollars to some self-esteem lacking bimbo from Jersey for sexual favors. Dirty, no-condom sex, by the way. Which is what people call ‘unsafe sex’ these days, I guess.

No, unsafe sex is with a cheap hooker, sharing needles while she is punching you in the kidney. The odds favor pregnancy, not diseases when it comes to high-end prostitutes. So, it’s not an unsafe result. Just a stupid one.

If only Clinton had not made it so difficult for a politician to move large funds around, Spitzer wouldn’t have had to resort to buying Western Union money orders for his prostitutes. I would’ve thought she would be a little bit more kind to her Super Delegates.

But not Hillary Norris. She’s kicking political ass and taking names. Look out Michigan and Florida, she’s on the way to overturn the DNC rules and get your votes.

Chris Cameron writes this political humor column every Thursday. You can also read his own odd and strange brand of humor at his Humor Site Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is looking for the nearest Western Union.

Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty frequently updates with articles of satire and parody. Don’t miss a thing by subscribing to email updates or the RSS feed.

Every week the 2008 Presidential campaign gets messier and messier.

Just when you think it will finally be over, along comes one of the two Democrats with some secret deal in their pocket, and a magical come-from-behind victory.

Now that’s political humor!

I wonder what part of her soul Hillary sold to win Texas. I wasn’t aware she had any left. I figured she blew through it already when she got the previous Super Tuesday win.

Hillary Clinton has to have done something, because running a campaign like it’s a Ringling Bros tour doesn’t get you elected.

Not like it was a big win either. They pretty much split the delegates, with Hillary getting a few more. In other words, Texas said they liked Clinton a little more than Obama. I remember trying that line out when two girls liked me at the same time in high school…

Me: “I like you a little more than her.”

Girl: “And I’d like it a little more if you didn’t make me feel so mediocre, asshole.”

Not only was it a wishy-washy vote, but Texas picked a white woman with a shady background over a black man with a shady background. Where is Al Sharpton when you need him?

Things aren’t any less complicated on the Right either

Yes, Republicans. You get to have Frankencain as your choice for President. But what if -, God forbid – he dies, or has a debilitating stroke or something?

Then by law, the delegates’ votes would have to be decided among the remaining candidates.

“But Chris, everyone but John McCain has dropped out”.

Not so fast there, buddy.

Ron Paul! has not officially quit. If Frankencain doesn’t make it to the convention, Ron Paul! and his crazy zealot fan base wins the nomination.

Not scared yet?

Like each worsening installment of Friday the 13th, one man resurrects his Presidential ambitions every four years while actually accomplishing less each time. One man threatens us with an election campaign more boring than Steve Forbes or Al Keyes.

One man spends every four years trying to drum up subscriptions for Consumer Reports.

Look out America, he has returned!

Chris Cameron’s odd and satirical views on politics appear here every Thursday. You can also read his strange and sometimes angry blog posts at Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is voting for Nader.

Don’t ever miss Chris Cameron’s Thursday articles on Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. Subscribe via Email or via RSS.

Is the Ron Paul Revolution over yet?

Update: Ron Paul has officially ended his campaign, so the quips below about how donating to Ron Paul is a waste of money are now even more correct. Sorry for your luck Ronulans.

I really want to know if Ron Paul is still running for President. I thought Ron Paul was supposed to be our last, best hope for America and Freedom. I thought all those internet polls that were so not-gamed and entirely representative, showed how Ron Paul was voice of Alex Jones Knuckleheads America.

So, Ronulans, where’s the beef? It’s all fun and games to troll the internet and create phony support for a candidate, but you need to leave mom’s basement to cast the REAL votes. You know – out here in the real world – where you’re nothing but a socially inept loser who has never mated within your own species.

Oh, and your dog called. He didn’t enjoy that.

In the real world, Ron Paul simply hasn’t shown up. Not that it’s any surprise to those of us not infected with a brain eating bacteria.

Ronald Reagan won election on a vision of America as a shining city on the hill. Ron Paul continues to shame himself by running on a vision of a shiny 6 million dollar blimp in the sky. Sending money to Ron Paul is even more wasteful than burning it. At least burning money can keep you warm and let you roast a marshmallow.

Of course, when you have a roasted marshmallow for a brain, sending money to Ron Paul somehow makes perfect sense.

I hope Ron Paul is still in the race. We need something to keep it entertaining now, that perennial Presidential candidate and Travelocity spokesperson Dennis Kucinich has bailed from the race.

Watching Hillary Clinton attack Barack Obama for being black is just too predictable to be amusing.

Vive la Ron Paul Revolucion!

Find more of the internet’s funniest stuff at Humor-Blogs.com

Get Political Humor updates. Subscribe to Radioactive Liberty via Email or via RSS.

Ron Paul is the Last, Best hope for Political Humor. I do wish he would have continued the political campaign, though. I would have been more fun.

Don’t miss a thing in the run up to the 2008 Election. Subscribe to Email or RSS updates.