Political Humor

So protesters in the U.K., angry over college tuition rate hikes attacked Prince Charles the other day.

British officials defended the country’s security establishment Friday after rampaging student protesters attacked a car carrying the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall.

The chief of the Metropolitan Police pledged to launch a full and detailed investigation into the incident, which saw protesters set upon the heir to the throne’s Rolls Royce as it drove through London’s busy West End Thursday night. A group of up to 20 protesters, some chanting “off with their heads!” smashed a rear window and splashed white paint on the vehicle. Charles and Camilla were visibly shaken, but unharmed.

In light of this incident I think the U.K. should not raise college tuition, and instead keep it as cheap as possible. Why?

Prince Charles is not a smart target for a protest.

Not only does he have zero clout with the British government but he’s not even the top dog of the monarchy. He means nothing in trying to sway government opinion.

It’s like egging the dog catcher’s house because you are pissed about the way the mayor is handling the budget.

Obviously these protesters are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. They clearly need more education.

And they are ungrateful too.

Do they not realize that without Prince Charles they would not be aware that humans have 96 months to live? (That was July 2009. We only have 79 more at this point.)

Do they not understand that without the Prince they would forget how boring Monarchs really are?

And there would be no spaghetti night every Wednesday either.

So yeah U.K. you need to re-think this idea of raising the price of going to college. You can’t afford another generation of stupid people.

Last time we checked in on Britain’s favorite moonbat monarch Prince Charles he was the recipient of Mommy’s Little Gardener Award. Now he’s become a “expert” on flowers and Climate Change .

According to the man who might-not-ever-be-King Charles, we only have until July, 2017 before Global Warming, that made-up scientific “theory” that stopped happening a decade ago will kill all of us:

The heir to the throne told an audience of industrialists and environmentalists at St James’s Palace last night that he had calculated that we have just 96 months left to save the world.

This was surely based on his scientific credentials. What, he isn’t a scientist? Sorry my bad.

I meant to say that Charles, England’s answer to Al Gore based this on computer models. What, he used a dartboard to come up with 96 months?

And in a searing indictment on capitalist society, Charles said we can no longer afford consumerism and that the “age of convenience” was over.

This coming from a guy who hasn’t cooked a meal or ironed his own clothes his entire life. How about you make your own dinner without the help of your servants Charles before you preach convenience to the rest of us who actually have had a paying job at least once in our lives?

Most of us actually have to pay for our energy usage after all. We do not have the luxury of having our royal palace foot all our bills. Or do our laundry for us.

The Prince, who is advised by the leading environmentalists Jonathon Porritt and Tony Juniper, said that even the economist Adam Smith, father of modern capitalism, had been aware of the short-comings of unfettered materialism.

Smith himself never expressly stated this viewpoint*. The idea that he argued against unfettered materialism was something his peers and colleagues surmised from his writings. Sure, he wasn’t a big fan of monopolies but it takes two to tango. In order for there to be unfettered materialism there has to be the demand on the consumer end as well.

Without it there is no materialism.

Geez, there I go injecting reality into all this. My bad again. People are actually forced to buy things they can’t afford.

That evil Capitalist system!

Did I mention Adam Smith was a Scot? Hundreds of centuries ago the Brits looked to breeding to wipe out Scottish intelligence. Today I guess all Buckingham Palace can do is to tarnish the legacy of one of Scotland’s greatest economic minds instead.

What was the old saying about straws and grasping?

The bright spot is the Prince of Wales has reduced his own carbon footprint by 30%. I would be more impressed if he killed himself and saved the full 100%.

In fact let’s kill off all the environmentalists. They say humans are the problem so I say they go first since they are the ones pressing the issue.

This is like people who say we need higher taxes. Those people should pay more in taxes since they advocate it.

Is putting our money where their mouth is too much to ask from the moonbats? I mean this rhetorically of course because there is no answer.

*If someone can point out where Adam Smith expressly warned against unfettered materialism I will be happy to print a retraction. Good luck.

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Chris Cameron writes this political humor every week here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his own unfettered comedy at his humor blog Angry Seafood.