Political Humor

Sometimes things get so ridiculous, there’s only one thing left to do… rant. I haven’t done this for a while, today’s your lucky day.

From a distance, it looks like the IDF may have screwed-up their boarding of the terrorist backed “humanitarian aid” ship off the coast of Gaza. Screwed-up or not, I damn sure support Israel’s right to search vessels attempting to run their legal blockade. They have every right to defend themselves from Hamas, Iran and others who are trying to destroy them. Bottom fucking line.

Let’s be realistic, Israel isn’t the first country to dick-up an op. Ask former President Carter. Remember all the dead US military in the Iranian desert during the botched hostage rescue? I’m still not convinced that a young  Ahmadinejad wasn’t one of the “students” who held those Americans for 444 days. And who spoke-out on Wednesday condemning Israel? Jimmy The Jew Hater Carter, that’s who.

Speaking of the Promised Land, where’s Rahm Emanuel? Oh yeah… Israel. Well, maybe. He’s been gone for three weeks to his son’s Bar Mitzvahs or something, while Louisiana’s wildlife turns into Tar Balls, the Blago Hair Trial for Men begins, the Out-of-Stock Market tanks, Nazi bitch, Heil Helen Shar-Pei Thomas said the Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine” and go back where they came from (was she talking to you Rahm?), Joe Sestak tries-out for the role of Bubba’s New Blue Dress -as he’s been stained by Clinton too, Barry Two Wars Obama -our Commander and Sheik- spits in the collective faces of our military by heading-off to a BBQ in the Windy City -across the street from the well-known Anti-Semite Louis Farrakan’s house- and sends Joe who needs a plumber to remove his head from his stopped-up anatomical sewage outlet Biden to Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day on the very day we remember those who now serve and have served their country and our fallen heroes. Top that run-on sentence, Eric.

Hey, here’s a thought. Let’s shove some of those dead, oil-soaked pelicans on sticks, light them, and march on Chicago? Why Chicago you might ask? Because it’s the festering boil on the un-wiped hemorrhoid of Socialism, Fascism and Communism in our country. Where’s a Joseph McCarthy when we need one?

You’re wasting your time picketing Washington. Obama and his Chicago Mob won’t even notice. Take it home. Go for the throat. Well actually, it’s the other end, but you get the idea.

March on the same city where President Obamunist friends (whom he’s never met) Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dorhn live. Two home-gown terrorist who, along with Code Pink founder Jodie Evans, support the IHH and the Free Gaza movement. The IHH, the very group that several governments have labeled as a terrorist organization. The very Send them to the Showers organization that booked the Turkish Terror Cruise to Israel.

Around… and around… it goes.

Yeah, I know, the House is going to vote today to take the next step toward European Socialism, through Obama Care. But I thought we needed a break. Kind of funny though, here it’s Sunday and they seem to have decided not to use the Slaughter “Demon Pass” Solution. That’s what they said. I heard it.

Somewhere in the White House

Obama: Rahm, put some clothes on and bring in the next House Member.

Emanuel: mumble, mumble…bring ‘em in yourself, you lazy little…

Obama: What’d you say!

Emanuel: Ah… I was saying I can’t find my pants.

Obama: I hate it when that happens. Wrap a towel around your tush and get whoever’s next in here. I’m not sure how long these batteries will last.

Emanuel: Okay, you. Go up, kiss the President’s ring and have a seat.

Congressman: Yeah fine, but stop poking me in the chest. Ah, Mr. President, what a pleasure it is for me to kiss your…

Obama: Hey, watch it. Don’t tongue my jewels. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get slobber out of one of these rings? Just, just… go sit on that hassock and face me. Rahm, kill the lights.

Congressman: Whoa, it’s kind of dark in here. Anyway, Mr President I can’t tell how much of an honor it for me to have a chance to speak to you, one on one like this, about jobs. My state’s unemployment…

Obama: What ever. Listen, let me make this clear, right after all the other stuff, my primary focus is on jobs. I have a Laser-like Focus.

Congressman: What’s… What’s that little red light on my jacket? Do…ah. Is ah, ah Rahm Emanuel pointing a..a weapon at me? Mr. President, you KNOW I’m here for you. There’s no need to…

Obama: ♫ Relax.
♫ Scheme those schemes
♫ Got to hit me
♫ Hit me
♫ Hit me with those laser beams

Congressman: Huh?

Obama: This just reminds me of an old 80′s, Frankie goes to Hollywood song. Stop your worrying, no one’s pointing a weapon at you. What you’re seeing is my Laser-like Focus.

Congressman: Oh. Oh…you had me worried there for a minute. Oh! I get it. You mean you have a laser pointer you’re using as an idiom for your focus.

Emanuel: I think you mean, analogy. Kant’s Critique of Judgment succinctly argues…

Congressman: Figures you’d quote a philosopher with your name. I believe you may call it a metaphor, but never…

Emanuel: Metaphor? If anything, it’s closer to an allegory than a …

Obama: Both of you, knock it off! It’s not any of those words, it’s my Laser-like Focus dammit, and don’t forget it. Now Congressman, you need to see the light. Rahm.

Congressman: What are you doing behind me?

Emanuel: I’m just going to hold your eyes open so you can see the truth, Alex. Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

Congressman: My name’s not Alex… Hey, if you have both hands holding my eyes open, what’s poking me in…

Obama: Rahm.

Emanuel: What? I’ve only got two hands. You can’t expect me to hold the towel too.

Congressman: Ah, Mr. President, please watch were you’re shinning that laser pointer…

Obama: Laser-like Focus! Laser-like Focus!

Congressman: Yes, Mr. President, but please don’t shine it in… OH MY EYES! It burns!

Emanuel: Now you’re going to feel a little prick.

Congressman: I think I already…Ouch! What did you inject me with? I feel…ohooooooo…

Emanuel: I think he’s ready. I’ll turn the lights back on. Now where did I drop that towel?

Obama: To answer you question Congressman, you’ve been drugged and blinded by the light. Man, those 80′s tunes are catchy.

Emanuel: Actually, it was recorded in 1973 by Springsteen…

Obama: Great Freaking Teddy’s Ghost, do you ever shut-up? Holy crap. Where was I? Oh yeah. Congressman, repeat after me. I will vote for anything President Obama wants.

Congressman: I will vote for anything President Obama wants.

Obama: I will support the Democrat Party and ensure my President’s legacy.

Congressman: I will support the Democrat Party and ensure my President’s legacy.

Obama: Rahm. Get him out of here and bring in the next one.

Congressman: Rahm. Get him out of here and bring in the next one.