Political Humor

It is not like last week’s Democratic National Convention that is for sure. There were all kinds of moonbats and crazies running around in Denver and that’s only counting the people giving speeches and most of the talking heads of MSNBC.  This week’s Republican National Convention is, well how shall I say, kinda frigging boring?

Before the RNC got going this week, John McCain spent time with his son putting together care packages for people in the affected areas of Hurricane Gustav. As the Republican Presidential candidate, McCain was concerned about even the minute details of the convention.

Of course there was the big joke played on first-time RNC-goer Joe Lieberman…

They switched all the coffee to decaf right before his big speech and the entire audience fell asleep. But in a final funny twist it turned out nobody ordered coffee. Those funny Republicans.

Outside at least there were some of those crazy people protesting silly causes. This group is probably defending gay rights for animals or something stupid like that.

See I told you. Why do all the people who believe in 911 conspiracies wear cargo shorts by the way? Must be some kind of uniform they have to wear or something, I don’t know. And if you ask them why, I am pretty sure it would go like how underpants gnomes explain profit…

George W. Bush showed up on video with a pep rally speech for McCain, the man he trashed in the last two elections. Hey look, Bush may have not been the best President and sure he may have taken liberties with our Constitution but is that any worse then a female intern’s liberty in a closet in the White House? Six of one, half dozen of another I say.

Speaking of the ladies, the highlight of course was last night’s speech by Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

After that speech the moonbats must have sprung into action, riding their bikes down to Starbucks to blog against the very things they believe in. The Republican National Convention might not have had the spice of the other half of the dysfunctional political system but they sure kept the crazies on the left of the blogsphere and the mainstream media busy playing Hippocrates with Sarah Palin.

On second thought, maybe the Republican National Convention wasn’t so boring after all.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor column every Thursday. You can also read his own odd and strange humor as his own humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com has a funny blog convention all the time, 24/7. Go there to laugh at other people’s misfortunes and lolcats or protest, it is your call.

Whenever you have political conventions there are always ‘Perk Packs’, extras a donor can receive if they of course give extra money to the political party. For example, at this year’s DNC, for a donation of just $250,000 or more you get first consideration for booking rooms along with:

“…special invites to private events with Colorado governor Bill Ritter, Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, US Senator Ken Salazar and other Democratic elected officials.”

Who says you need alcohol at a Democratic National Convention when guys named Hickenlooper are entertaining you? Man, that Ken Salazar, he just lights up the room. Jenga anyone?

Then there is this one:

“$10 million- The Lewinsky Special, includes exclusive suite directly behind the stage area, complimentary Altoid Mints and cigars, and intern of your choice.
$10- The Lewinsky Ghetto Special, includes hand job by Monica Lewinsky in a private alley behind the Pepsi Center.”

I think I like the Eliot Perk Pack much better. More economical.

“$5,000- The Spitzer Soirée, includes a hotel room with a heart-shaped tub and a high-priced call girl from the local area.
$5- A hooker who spits. Hotel room not provided. “

Speaking of economics here is one for you Green fans out there:

“$6,000- Save on Energy Deluxe Package, includes rider passes good for five years on Amtrak.
$6- Save on Energy Bronze Package, includes a tire pressure gauge. “

On second thought maybe it was a good idea to ban alcohol sales at the Pepsi Center this week. There is no telling what the combination of liquor and prescription drugs will do to a group of moonbats that large. Look what happened in 1968.

The Republican National Convention has similar offerings with luxury seating and tickets to exclusive conservative events as well as some interesting Perk Packs of their own:

“$1,000- Your own bathroom in the Pepsi Center, including room for a wide stance.
$10- An hour with Larry Craig. “

If you are a sportsman, here are a couple of Perk Packs for you:

“$5 Million- Quail hunting with Dick Cheney.
$5- Cougar Hunting with 17-year-old RNC Delegate Kyle Westlake.”

Dinner dates also seem to be big on the RNC side:

“$2 Million Dinner with George Bush, includes all the Texas BBQ you can eat.
$20- Dinner with Mike Huckabee, includes all the fried squirrel you can eat.”

One thing is for sure, unlike the DNC, the St. Paul gathering of Republicans will need a lot of alcohol to combat the boredom. They don’t have Dennis Kucinich after all.

Yup, excellent idea going with the alcohol ban at the Democratic National Convention.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor column here every Thursday. You can also read his odd form of funny at his humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com doesn’t have Perk Packs but they do have funny blogs.

Everyone complained about the primary scheduling but did anyone notice the six weeks of no elections whatsoever? Did the DNC and the RNC not consider us bloggers and political humor columnists? What the hell are we going to write about?

Some are trying to come up with good fodder for us. This week President Bush is drumming up the positives about the Iraq War as we hit the five-year mark Wednesday.

Cheney is still claiming Hussein had something to do with 911. McCain is busy confusing which terrorist regime is funding/backing whom, which seems like just an argument in academia.

But this is simply more rehashed and recycled news stories.

I will buy the excuse that maybe the political media scene is worn-out from the craziness lately and could use a break. An asshole Democrat Governor’s penchant for whores sank his dreams of living in the White House. A Presidential candidate tells us that having racist friends is alright as long as you don’t believe in the rhetoric.

So that begs the question: do racists have friends and are there a lot of excuses made for awful behavior?

Joseph Goebbels (to a friend): “You know Adolph isn’t really a bad guy, he’s just misunderstood.”
Friend: “He wants to kill the Jews.”
Goebbels: “He was just kidding about the killing thing. That Hitler, what a minx!”

No elections for six weeks also means the Global Warming alarmists have more room to push their warnings the planet is on fire. These days they tell us that glaciers are melting all over the world. They know this because they studied thirty out of 100,000 total ice packs.

I didn’t know they hired Nielsen Media Research to do their surveys.

What did they do, send a diary and a ruler to thirty people that lived near a glacier? I wouldn’t be surprised if this is close to the actual experiment procedure. It would make sense since the scientists can’t figure out why the oceans aren’t warming like the fancy computer models predicted.

So this is what we have to look forward to for the next six weeks? Wake me up when it’s time for the next primary.

Or when Larry Craig resurfaces in a restroom somewhere.

Every Thursday, Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor drivel most would find offensive and crude yet funny and topical. Who knew? You can read his other works of the humor variety at Angry Seafood.

Humor-blogs.com causes Global Warming because you won’t go there to read funny blogs.