Political Humor

Yes! The Flame War Parody comes on a Wednesday this week. There was a rip in the time/space continuum. While I was under the impression that the election had concluded and Sen. Barack Obama had been declared Fuhrer President, recent comments have led me to believe otherwise.

It could be that the Ronulans are simply suffering the effects of the brain eating bacteria that they all have, or it could just possibly be that Ron Paul is still actually running for President. So that brings us to this week’s question.

Is Ron Paul still running for President?

Be sure to be as incoherent as a Ron Paul supporter in your opinion.

Discuss.

It’s Sunday, so it must be time for another argument where we each choose an unjustifiably stupid position, and defend it with an incomprehensible degree of fervor. That’s the way the weekly flame war parody works, if you happen to be new here, or perhaps this is your first time clicking through from Humor-Blogs.com.

This weeks topic:

Which is nuttier: An Almond Joy or Ron Paul?

Discuss.

There are too many people that don’t know the facts about global warming. Some may believe in global warming myths, while others simply don’t know all the global warming statistics.

In order to bring enlightenment, and most likely create a few myths of my own, I’ve developed this FAQ to provide you with all the global warming information you need.

What causes global warming?

The Sun. Without it, the Earth would be a cold, bleak, desolate wasteland. Much like Pluto, which is no longer a planet. Or Al Gore’s brain.

Is Global Warming real?

I wouldn’t say that global warming is not happening. But whether or not the Earth is genuinely going through a phase of warming or cooling is part of a natural cycle. The real question is whether Man Made global warming is a scam. Yes. Yes it is a scam. Just like Scientology.

Do you have pictures of global warming?

Don’t be silly. It’s impossible to have pictures of things that don’t exist. I find it interesting how many mythical things we have “pictures” of. For example, the famous photograph of the Loch Ness Monster is really a hand in the bathtub. Like so.

Of course, there are artist renderings of global warming. In other words, fake pictures. Like the one of the poor polar bears above. Do keep in mind, that these are fake, phony contrived images.

Nothing more than a hoax. Like the “Osama bin Laden” tapes. Basically the exact sort of thing you would expect from the AP or Reuters.

Is Ron Paul still running for President?

That’s an excellent question, but a better question would be: why is Ron Paul still running for President? He has about as much of a chance of winning as Barack Obama does in winning a professional bowling tournament.

How many votes does a person need to not get before they call it quits? What I do know is that this question has nothing to do with global warming.

Now that I think about it, they are both insane religious cults.

Is there any evidence against global warming?

Of course there is, but as with other religions, petty details like “facts” and “evidence” are of no concern to the practitioners of the global warming religion faith. You can show as much data as you want to Al Gore and global warming’s hysterical hyperventalationists, but it will get you nowhere.

Can global warming be prevented?

Sure it can. I can also move objects with my mind. Barack Obama can bowl a perfect game, Al Gore isn’t insane, and controlling the weather is fun and easy.

Are there any natural causes of global warming?

Almost all causes of global warming are entirely natural. Volcanoes erupt and spew tons of “greenhouse gases” into the air. Volcanoes are one of the leading causes of global warming.

Cow farts are another leading cause. The process of evaporation over the oceans are also contribute to the natural causes of global warming.

Are humans the cause of global warming?

No. Whatever factor we play is nearly insignificant.

Is global warming for kids?

Kids love global warming! Whether they’re running through the sprinkler, taking a refreshing dip in the pool, or cooling off with some ice cream; there’s really no downside to global warming for kids.

Now you are armed with the facts about global warming. Go forth and club a baby seal, punch a dirty hippy, and feel secure in the knowledge that not even Al Gore’s palatial estate produces as large a carbon footprint as a volcano does.

So, turn on the lights, idle the car, and crank up the AC. It really won’t matter any more once Yellowstone or Anak Krakatau blows.

Humor-Blogs.com did not know that Yellowstone was a supervolcano, and I can’t believe I just linked to Wikipedia.

Here are a few other articles related to global warming information:

• Global Warming Solutions: The Ultimate Guide
• Global Warming Kills Nessie
• How You can Help Save the Planet
• Global Warming Armageddon
• Global Warming and Narnia

We now return you to your regularly scheduled political humor.