Political Humor

John Edwards has announced that he is quitting the 2008 race for President.

Democrat John Edwards is exiting the presidential race Wednesday, ending a scrappy underdog bid in which he steered his rivals toward progressive ideals while grappling with family hardship that roused voters’ sympathies, The Associated Press has learned..

One source within the Edwards campaign noted, “It’s a terrible day for shiny hair.” Indeed, where will the shiny hair contingent of the Democratic party go? Edwards has delegate votes that can now be cast for any of the remaining candidates.

Two things are certain, the Clinton campaign will continue to attack Barack Obama for his lack of white skin, and Ron Paul will continue to be insignificant.

Be sure to check out our Exclusive Interview with John Edwards

Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty

Is the Ron Paul Revolution over yet?

Update: Ron Paul has officially ended his campaign, so the quips below about how donating to Ron Paul is a waste of money are now even more correct. Sorry for your luck Ronulans.

I really want to know if Ron Paul is still running for President. I thought Ron Paul was supposed to be our last, best hope for America and Freedom. I thought all those internet polls that were so not-gamed and entirely representative, showed how Ron Paul was voice of Alex Jones Knuckleheads America.

So, Ronulans, where’s the beef? It’s all fun and games to troll the internet and create phony support for a candidate, but you need to leave mom’s basement to cast the REAL votes. You know – out here in the real world – where you’re nothing but a socially inept loser who has never mated within your own species.

Oh, and your dog called. He didn’t enjoy that.

In the real world, Ron Paul simply hasn’t shown up. Not that it’s any surprise to those of us not infected with a brain eating bacteria.

Ronald Reagan won election on a vision of America as a shining city on the hill. Ron Paul continues to shame himself by running on a vision of a shiny 6 million dollar blimp in the sky. Sending money to Ron Paul is even more wasteful than burning it. At least burning money can keep you warm and let you roast a marshmallow.

Of course, when you have a roasted marshmallow for a brain, sending money to Ron Paul somehow makes perfect sense.

I hope Ron Paul is still in the race. We need something to keep it entertaining now, that perennial Presidential candidate and Travelocity spokesperson Dennis Kucinich has bailed from the race.

Watching Hillary Clinton attack Barack Obama for being black is just too predictable to be amusing.

Vive la Ron Paul Revolucion!

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Ron Paul is the Last, Best hope for Political Humor. I do wish he would have continued the political campaign, though. I would have been more fun.

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Like the supergroup Chicago once sang, what kind of man would I be if I did not offer some of my predictions for 2008? Unlike the lead singer, I won’t play Russian roulette with my insight into what I think will go down in the next twelve months.

Of course everyone wants to know who I think will be the two finalists for the beauty pageant known as the Presidential campaign. In due time my friends, in due time.

~ Next year, instead of the ball dropping in New York, it will be Dick Clark.

Give the man credit for being a trooper but enough is enough already. The guy talks like he’s trying to yell above the music at a party. I know it was the 100th year they did this, and I am pretty sure Clark has only missed the first few, but it is time to let go.

What happens when Dick finally dies? Do they prop him up like a real-life ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’? I guess we will find out.

~ Ron Paul’s fans will unleash their rage on the other candidates.

I used to like the idea of Ron Paul as president, but he is like that girlfriend that turns out to be a little nutty down the road. The first time she tied you to the bed with handcuffs was all fun and games. But it got old once it was every night for a month. Especially when she brought out the ball gag and an official torture rack from the Medieval period.

I am beginning to think his fandom is similar and probably the reason why I got turned off to him: I am sane.

I guess it is time to tell you who I think will be the next President. Wait, I have a few more predictions first.

~ Barack Obama will not win anyway, so let it go.

Have you been to the South? They don’t have segregation anymore… per se. Technically it is more of a volunteer effort. All I am saying is to try and randomly walk into any waffle house in Georgia. Hope you pick the one for your race or it will be like in the movies where the music stops and the record skips as the entire clientèle stares at you.

~ Mike Huckabee’s failure to look people in the eye will be his undoing.

That looking-at-you-but-not-looking-at-you eye of his just freaks me out. How come everyone who has one of these eye conditions is shifty or shady?

I hadn’t noticed the eye thing until recently, but looking back at the cross commercial, it all makes sense. Two hundred years ago this guy would have been selling us snake oil.

Now I will give away my secret prediction for who will succeed Bush in 2008. Hold on, I have one more to talk about before the big final prediction you have been waiting for.

~ Hugo Chavez will continue to do wacky things.

In 2007 our favorite South American dictator reset the time in Venezuela, re-made the flag, lopped three zeros off the currency and re-introduced a 12.5 cent piece. Expect more nuttiness for 2008.

Chris Cameron writes this political humor guest post every Thursday for Radioactive Liberty without any real effort or quality on his part and it shows. You can read more of his oddness and strange humor at his blog Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com does not have any predictions for 2008. Go there anyways because the blogs are funny.