Political Humor

Image Credit: Penguin Pete’s

Ive got a chip on my shoulder; Got a monkey on my back
Got a lot of things to say; And I think Im gonna crack
Cant buy a smile off the worlds happiest man; No huggin trees today
‘Cause I hate everything ~Suicide Machines

I hate everything!

I’m so angry from always hating everything. That makes me so angry. I hate it.

I hate money. I hate making money. I hate people who make money. I hate people who have more money than me. I hate people who have more money than me and don’t give it to Ron Paul. Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul!

I hate Publishers Clearing House. I think I’ll go to www.pch.com and tell them how much I hate them. They should donate the prize money to Ron Paul for President. Ron Paul!

I hate people who make fun of our Christ and Savior, Ron Paul. I hate posts that aren’t about the greatness that is Ron Paul. I hate posts that aren’t about Ron Paul at all.

• Ron Jeremy Ron Paul!
• Ron Popeil Ron Paul!
• Ron Howard Ron Paul!
• The Apostle Paul Ron Paul!
• Les Paul Ron Paul!
• Paul McCartney Ron Paul!

Ron Paul!

I hate being too young to vote for Ron Paul.

I hate Siberian tigers named Tatiana that escape from the zoo and maul people. If Ron Paul was President no tigers would escape from the zoo and maul people… And we wouldn’t have any dirty Southerners in our country, because the South would have seceded from the US, because Ron Paul wouldn’t have fought the Civil War.

I hate water boarding. I can make anything about water boarding. Scuba diving water boarding. They both involve getting wet.

It’s a shame that a 4 year old girl got brutally gang raped in preschool while the teachers stood by and watched, but what does that have to do with Bushitler’s policy on water boarding.

Buried for not being about torture at Gitmo.

This tragic rape of a 4 year old shows the brutality being encouraged by the Bush Junta’s policy on water boarding.

+1 to the previous comment for pwning the Chimp in Charge. Mission accomplished?

Ron Paul will stop the practice of water boarding!

+1 for Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul!

See! I can make anything be about Ron Paul. I didn’t even read that one, but I buried it because the headline said “President Bush” instead of “pResident Bu$h.”

I hate living in my parents’ basement. It’s dark in here. I hate being a worthless troll with nothing better to do than hijack every post and make it about how much I hate the Commander in Chimp… And Ron Paul.

Ron Paul!

I hate Micro$oft. I hate Microshaft. I hate Microsuck. I love Apple. Apple FTW! Ipod OMFGZW!

I hate Fox News. I think Faux News is biased, but Raw Story is fair, balanced, and accurate. Faux News never talks about Ron Paul. Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Ron Paul!

I hate being a ham-fisted wiener kid. No, really. I was born with ham hocks for hands. I hate eating my hands. But they’re so damn tasty. Lousy tasty ham hock hands.

Ron Paul doesn’t have ham hocks for hands… Just for a brain.

Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Ron Paul!

I hate everything because I am your average, ordinary Digg user.

I hate Humor-Blogs.com.

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the 2008 Radioactive Liberty Presidential Debate. I’m your host, Kevin Dubrow, and before my untimely death last week, I banged heads with some of the Democratic and Republican candidates.

Like with the YouTube format, we have an innovation that will have metal health drive you mad. Over the last week we have been taking questions from Yahoo Answers, and we rocked hard with the best ones.

For Hillary Clinton: “Spill your secrets”
~Gothic in Gainsville, GA

“I once had sex with James Brolin to get back at Bill for hooking up with Monica. I was also pissed at Streisand at the time.”

For John McCain: “So who hates Mexicans?”
~Hoity-toity in Holbrook, Ma

“May I give the translation? Ha ha ha! That’s an excellent question. You might know that there was a poll out yesterday that showed me behind France in popularity but ahead of Mexicans, so I say let’s hate the French.”

“Is it my turn yet?”

Not yet Dennis.

For Mitt Romney: “Regular or Magic underwear?”
~Trendy in Trenton, NJ

“I come before you not as the Mormon Presidential candidate but rather the Presidential Mormon candidate. Elect me and all of you get magic underwear.”

For Rudy Guliani:
“According to the Declaration of Independence, who gives a government power?”
~Kombattled in Kansas City, Miss

“Noun verb 9/11.”

“How about now? Can I answer a question now?”

Not yet Dennis.

For Barack Obama: “A farmer wishes to plant seven apple trees in three rows with exactly three trees in each row. How does he do it?”
~Fashion-less in Fort Worth, Tex

“I don’t have experience planting trees but neither did tree planters. We invade Pakistan and get more land so we don’t have to be restricted to rows of three. You can’t leave options off the table when it comes to orchards and diplomacy.”

For Ron Paul: “Where in Europe did the Vikings attack during the Dark Ages?”
~Exposed in Eureka, Wash

“I’m not sure, but if they attacked Europe again we would have no business being involved. If Vikings attack the homeland then we should defend it.”

“Cmon, ask me a question! When it is my turn?”

Not yet.

For Mike Huckabee: “Help about dumb blond jokes?”
~Mystical in Montgomery, Ala

“A blond tries to do her taxes. See, I told you we need to get rid of the Federal Income Tax.”

For John Edwards: “If I begin an exercise routine, will I begin to lose weight with the same diet?”
~Pity-less in Pittsburg, Penn

“No because of the Neo-cons! You won’t lose weight because the system is broken. It is rigged. The Neo-cons want to march us all into the war on poverty. We need less corporate Democrats.”

“God Damn it when do I get to answer a question!!”

Sorry, Dennis but we are out of time. Thank you to all the candidates for your candid answers. I’m Kevin Dubrow saying goodnight from Radioactive Liberty studios. Keep banging your heads everyone and make sure you vote.

Humor-Blogs.com uses the elfin magic of Dennis Kucinich.

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Chris Cameron is not Kevin Dubrow. He is very much alive and you can read his other works of oddness at hishumor blog, Angry Seafood.

Image Credit: Pengrin

The Flame War Parody made a rousing debut! Apple Pie was declared more American than Mom in a heated and controversial vote. Sorry Mom, but you’re just not American enough.

RT – Chief Mongress took the lead, noting that “my mom is the daughter of an immigrant.”

Joining in the consensus that Apple Pie is more American was part-time Radioactive Liberty correspondent, and head fisherman of Angry Seafood, ChrisC.

Chris had the most logical and well reasoned argument in favor of Apple Pie, noting:

Apple pie because you can have sex with it. Ok, I guess you could plow your mom but that would be way too weird and wrong. Go for the pie.

Skul threw away his vote, opting for third party candidate, Pumpkin Pie.

Rich J seemed to side with Apple Pie as well, but his vote was a hanging chad. He belligerently protested, “Your mom knows what kind of pie I like.” Ultimately, it went to the Supreme Court to rule on how this vote should be counted.

VapmireKlown was the first to really stir things up, boldly declaring that “Apple Pie is a PINKO COMMIE FAG!!!!!!!!” Von took the bait and returned the volley, defending the honor of Apple Pie, and hurling the gay label right back at VKlown, who responded by trying furiously to pray the gay away.

Skul proceeded to throw away yet another vote, this time opting for the Ron Paul of the debate, baseball.

Pope Terry seemed confused, and went on an anti–Swedish tirade. Don’t blame him, though. He is a floppy-eared Australian, and doesn’t understand the intricacies of American Politics.

Swinging to the controversial side of things, RT – Chief Mongress and Kate teamed up to voice their disdain for America by vehemently denouncing pie in all it’s forms. Even though the female participants agreed that Apple Pie was indeed more American, they could not help but show their contempt for it.

Monday, the decision came down from the Humor-Blogs.com Supreme Court as Chief Justice Diesel ruled Apple Pie “would never run off with an insurance salesman from Duluth.”

Reports are coming in that JT has plans to protest the vote count in Ohio. No word yet on whether VampireKlown, in FLorida, will join in the protest.

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