Political Humor

Obama Bugs Me

Judge Walker, the chief judge of the Federal District Court in San Francisco (like you couldn’t guess the city), ruled this past Wednesday the National Security Agency’s program of surveillance on U.S citizens, sans warrants is… can I get a drum roll please?… illegal. Now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, Sen Barack Obama. Still, his administration has tried to keep this well used program  shrouded in secrecy. I guess it’s OK to spy on us as long as George Bush isn’t President.

Could I have made that caption any more awkward?

Fast Food Fix

Fast food will make your children steal, and it’s not their fault. That’s right, eating burgers and fries will force them to shoplift from convenience stores, burglarize your neighbor’s homes and lift cash from your wallets.

Why? Because recent studies have shown it’s as addictive as heroin. We’ve all seen what can happen when McDonald’s runs out of McNuggets -it’s crack whore central.

But don’t worry, Michelle Obama will get your kids into a 12 Step Program, while Kathleen Sebelus shuts down the Fast Food Cartels. It’s up against the wall, Ronald. You’re being replaced with Mickey Mao.

Speaking of 12 Step Programs, when Tiger Woods went into sex rehab, was he slowly weaned-off of porn stars? “OK Tiger, this week we’re going to cut you down to only four women a day. Next week it’s three.” The inhumanity.

The Obama Presidency: Downsizing Your Exceptions

Is Obama Practicing Black Magic?

Ali Hussein Subat, a Lebanese magician, was sentenced to death last month in Saudi Arabia for sorcery, but he’s been given a temporary reprieve. Subat claims he practiced black magic over the past eight years in order to treat patients.

In other words, a man with absolutely no medical training or background -and with the middle name Hussein- thought he could magically run a health care program.

If he walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and weights the same as a duck, he’s made of wood. Therefore…

Does anyone else see a disturbing pattern? Or is it just me?

Hey, visit my other blogs, please. I’ve haven’t done much lately with Mild Max and my crusade against the Global Warming crowd. Then there’s more political humor and satire at Sideshow Mirrors, where Eric’s been having a ball, but he’s getting kind of lonely -’cause I haven’t been posting much there either. Stop by and say hi to him, won’t ya?

So it is too late for us to ask for a new republican candidate. But if Hillary Clinton can hang around with her chances hinging on some kind of ‘unfortunate accident’ happening to Obama, why can’t we have alternatives to John McCain?

Or should I say McCainatives.

M.C. Hammer

Okay, technically he isn’t a Mc but he belongs here. He could help poor people. One pair of his old Hammertime pants could cloth a family of four. Foreign policy? Dude, he has toured around the world from London to the Bay. I don’t know which bay that is but a lot of countries have them.

President Hammer…Can’t Touch This

Vince McMahon

He’s built the WWE into a huge billion-dollar enterprise. Imagine what he could do as President. Issues could be settled in the ring, like say the Iron Sheik comes back to fight John Cena. If The Sheik loses, Iran can’t build nukes. This would work out until the inevitable day Steve Austin drives onto the White House lawn in a monster truck calling Vince out while asking tourists for a “Hell Yah!”

Ronald McDonald

This one is tough. On the one hand clowns are funny, but on the other hand they scare small children. Thankfully, kids don’t vote. Well not yet but you never know with the liberals in charge of everything these days. Once they pass minor voting laws old Ronald is off the list.

John McClane

A President able to address the terrorist problem single-handedly is someone we could use. He could go into a place where there are insurgents, yell out “Yippie-kay-yay!” and the bodies would hit the floor in methodical fashion.

On a side note I’d love to see a movie where they teamed up Bruce Willis’ character with Chuck Norris’ Col. James Braddock. That would freaking rule. Maybe Braddock could be Vice President?

Doug and Bob McKenzie

What list of McCainatives would be complete without the Canadian brothers that love their beer. I think it goes without saying there will not be a return to the days of Prohibition on their watch. And if anyone gives us crap we can just tell them to take off eh! I know, there is that rule about being born here, but we were ready to repeal that law for the Terminator and he turned into a liberal.

Duncan MacCloud

Of the MacCloud clan.

This is a tricky McCandidate choice. There is no age factor because a Highlander lives forever but he would only be able to serve two terms. Or wait a hundred years and run under a different name or something.

And could the Secret Service deal with all these opposing Highlanders trying to chop MacCloud’s head off? Or what if another Highlander became the leader of a country like Iran or North Korea? That could be interesting.

So don’t tell me the Republican race is over. Not when there are still some great McChoices better then McCain.

Humor-blogs.com is a better McCainative for President then John McCain.

Chris Cameron writes this insane drivel every Thursday here at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd and strange brand of humor as his own blog, Angry Seafood.