Political Humor

I know Media Matters a.k.a. Mrs. Johnson’s 6th grade writing class has a playground war, I mean an obsession with FOX News but this is ridiculous.

One of their latest posts, “The 50 Worst Things Glenn Beck Said” is nearly 14,000 words long, twenty-eight pages in a Word document.

14,000 words!

By the time someone finishes reading it…

Glenn Beck will be back on the air at FOX News.

Couples will have conceived and birthed children.

Nancy Pelosi will have read the Obamacare Act.

Voters will oust Obama in 2012.

I know the post is nearly all quotations but it still is 14,000 words. That isn’t blogging. That’s slave labor which is not surprising for the left. Old habits die hard apparently.

I hope for their sake they just picked fifty quotes and did not actually take a list of a few hundred and narrow them down to the current number. But knowing how the liberal mind operates they probably got really high one night and made a naked Twister game out of it. Then afterwords, they hung out in the bushes outside FOX News studios like all Media Matters stalkers do.

So how much is 14,000 words?

Our posts here at Radioactive Liberty are generally about 200-400 words, so let’s call it an average of 300. It would take forty-seven posts just to equal their leviathan. At the rate we publish that’s two months of content. Three if we are in a really lazy mood.

If we placed each of the 14,000 words end-to-end it would reach around the world twice. But it would take even longer to place them because it would be done by government workers.

Still not as long as reading the blog post though.

[Thanks to Buzzpal for the Trump pic.]

Unmanned Menstrual Cycle Kills Libyans

The more we at this rag learn about how the indecision was made to bomb Libya, the more we find out it was the women in the administration who were the driving force behind this unconstitutional action.

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense Hillary, and her feminist crones, would nag until they got their way. It’s also a well known fact women tend to sync their periods to the lunar cycle. Add to this, an usual event late last week -when the full moon was closer and therefore more influential then it had been in 9 years- and we had Satan’s own recipe for high flow bitchiness.

Obama says Hillary told him the messiest part will be over in a few days, then the heavy duty U.S. Forces will be swapped out for a much lighter-weight NATO version. The U.S. will then be left to pad around in the background.

Pure bleeding… heart, full-moonbat, lunacy.

[Fiar you're right. Daniel Tosh has pushed the line clean out of sight.]

Trivial Pursuits, Obama Edition

Obama’s Trivial Pursuits (hardly worth much thought or effort) = fixing the economy, creating millions of jobs, learning to bowl better than a Special Olympian, being fiscally responsible, finishing old wars before starting a new one, eating a Philly Cheesesteak, and closing Gitmo,

Obama’s Not So Trivial Pursuits (very important, would actually cross the street for) = Eating cuts of Wagyu beef, that each cost more than his half-brother George in Kenya makes in a year, golf, frequent expensive vacations, basketball, pushing unpopular agendas and appeasing thuggish unions. The National German Socialist Worker’s Party had the strongarm Brown Shirts, where as the National American Socialist Worker’s Party, a.k.a. the Democrat Party, has the bosses at the SEIU, AFL-CIO and teacher’s unions.

[I'm in no way implying that union bosses are workers or even wear brown shirt, but if it steps like a goose...]

Coming Soon: November 2012 Regime Change

Citing a vote finding illegitimacy (read that as you will), a small contingent of beret topped, cigarette smoking French lead a U.N. backed coalition to the White House, to oust Obama. The President reportedly read the strongly worded letter, shrugged his shoulders, picked up his basketball, and headed back to Chicago. Obama was seen smiling as he left through the front gate. A witness to the event stated the now former Commander and Chief told passersby, it was fine with him. “After all”, he said, “just like Libya, the U.N. told me to go and I went. It must be the will of the world.”

The French quickly moved to cut funding to the EPA, build more nuclear power plants, start getting the national debt under control, and lower health care cost by repealing ObamaCare. They also decreed that foreigners must immediately assimilate, or go back to what ever nasty, filthy, disease plagued, fly swarmed, mosquito infested, flee ridden, third-world, hell-hole they came from, even if it was France.

On the down side, Americans will now be forced to eat runny, smelly cheese, bathe once a month -whether we need it or not, jump at our own shadows, drink tiny amounts of some kind of coffee beverage out of feminine cups, and watch Jerry Lewis movies.

[Well, it could be worse.]

Parting Thought

Never throw-away your old dictators, they’ll always come back into fashion.

Whether Rachel Maddow got an injection of tiger blood or something before her show Monday has yet to be revealed. But she seems to have caught Charlie Sheen Fever.

Rachel thinks that liberals are winning the political argument because they are being called socialists and communists:

I hereby submit that the longer it‘s clear that liberals or Democrats are going to win an election, the longer it‘s clear that liberals or Democrats are winning an argument, the more likely it becomes that someone is going to get called a commie, socialist, Bolshevik, commie, pinko, comrade, five-year planner.

Hey, if the hammer and sickle fits….

Maddow doesn’t stop there. She continues with a quote from Joe the Plummer, who was present at the Madison Cryfest last weekend:

“(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOSEPH WURZELBACHER, JOE THE PLUMBER: Yesterday, I saw signs, “Unions for America.” So, I (INAUDIBLE) to them. I said, what America do you want to be for? You want to be for the socialist America? You know, the socialists have come into Madison. It is a fact—it‘s a fact that card-carrying socialists and card-carrying communists in Madison, around the state capitol.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

MADDOW: Card-carrying? Tada! Joe the Plumber, still around.”

I am kind of confused because I see socialists in Wisconsin too.

State Dem Minority Mark Miller has ties to the Democratic Socialists of America. You know, the lead guy for Wisconsin Dems who is hiding out across the border like a draft dodger?

Okay, technically he isn’t currently in the state but like a bad penny he will return. And he is a Socialist.

Then there is Russ Feingold, another DSA-er who was one of Wisconsin’s US Senators until he got fired last November. Right around the time the teachers began calling out sick and getting doctors to write fake excuse notes Russ was starting up his own political action committee.

Not just any PAC, mind you but Progressives United, a group designed to fight the Citizens v. United SCOTUS decision.

What the hell does this have to do with the battle in Madison?

Citizens v. United created the ability for the Kochs and their political action committees to eradicate the unions in Wisconsin. That is what Liberals believe.

Russ Feingold: another Socialist.

And just in case any Liberals are keeping score at home…

Democrats got creamed in the 2010 election, all the while being called socialists and communists. Republicans and Conservatives hold the House of Reps, all the state levels of the legislature, and the majority of Governor seats.

In 2012 we might not win the White House but we have a very good chance of taking the US Senate and more of the US House. And we will still be calling liberals socialists.

We control the ability to draw political districts in our favor for the next decade. And we will still point fingers at the Marxists.

Duh! Winning!

Related Update from the Daily Caller – Walker Wins, Maddow and her Socialist friends – not so much.