Political Humor

Washington, DC (AP) The Obama Administration has filed in a District Of Columbia Court for divorce. This comes on the heels of a trial separation that began just hours after the country’s first black President was sworn-in.

“This marriage has been on the rocks for sometime. It just isn’t working for us,” said David Alexrod, Presidential teleprompter text loading guru. “We’ve tried to work things out, but sometimes you just got to make a clean break, a start fresh.” Axlerod continued.

Right wing pundits were quick to point-out that they thought this was inevitable. “I predicted six months ago this would be the case,” stated the over-rated conservative hate-monger and Fox News propagandist, Sean Hannity. “It’s not in the liberal’s make-up to be joined like that. They just don’t have the same sense of commitment as conservatives.”

When asked about Hannity’s statement, Axlerod said, “No one should bother listening to that big, fat liar. Everyone knows that Fox is only interested in criticizing the Obama Administration. We didn’t even know it would go this far until a few weeks ago.” He rolled his eyes and then said, “What, does he have a crystal ball?” Axlerod went on to explain the administration was sighting “irreconcilably difference” as the reason for seeking this action.

“I guess we underestimated the situation. We’ve been doing that a lot lately,” said VP Joe Biden.

The other party is not expected to contest, and according to inside sources, the Obama Administration’s divorcement from reality should be finalized within ninety days. Reality could not be reached for comment, but is thought to be on vacation with Common Sense.

This is week three of the Limbaugh Challenge. We’ve not heard a word from him. Come-on Rush, just drop us an email if nothing else. It’s all right to admit you read Radioactive Liberty.

Fade in: Stars in the shape of dollar signs, trillions and trillions. We hear a familiar, well-modulated voice reading:

“Socialism, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the USS Anti-Enterprise. Its 8-10 year mission: to institute a Nanny State, to seek out new forms of taxation and subjugation. To boldly go where no American government has gone before!”

Soaring kazoo solo theme music plays as opening tiles role.

Fade to black. Cut to commercial.

“Hey, this is Don Imus for Kink-Away. Have you black chicks ever wished you could get rid of your nappy head of hair and have that sexy, white-babe looking straight hair just like Michelle Obama’s? Well, now you can…

Commercial fades out. Fade in to opening scene.

Scene I: The United Socialist States Anti-Enterprise is circling a large planet.

Voice over: Captain’s Log, Stardate 0904.13. We are in geosynchronous orbit above the infamous Black Hole penal colony on Uranus. This is where society’s most dangerous political prisoners are kept. Deep in the bowels of the planet is the ultra-high security, Subversive Conservatives Pit. It’s been penetrated, and some of the universe’s most treasonous villains have escaped.

We suspect Public Enemy #1, Rush Limbaugh, is behind this jail break. He had been thought to be dead, but recently, new, prerecorded messages from Rush have been broadcasting on illegal blogs, which have been hacked into the Gorenet. We’d traced the source back to the Tora Borealis caves on Mars.

I, Captain Barack H. Obama, lead the landing team. As we entered the cigar smoke-filled caves, a crew member -that I don’t ever remember seeing before- tripped a light beam. Limbaugh’s voice echoed off of the cave’s walls. After listening to about thirty second of this vile hate speech, this crew member turned to me and said, “Sir, this Limbaugh guy makes sense.” I shot him.

We searched the caves, but never found Limbaugh. All that was left in there was the recorder that played the blasphemous message and a list of names, written on one of the walls. Sean Hannity, Matt Drudge, Glen Beck and oddly enough, Dennis Miller. Precisely the same names of those who were now loose again, spreading their deleterious messages.

Hum, not a single woman’s name on the list. Not even that skinny bitch’s, Ann Coulter. I always thought Limbaugh was gay… oh shit, I’m, I’m…ad-libbing! Not that there’s anything, you know, wrong with being gay. Er, I mean, some of my best friends are… Help me BO Teleprompter! You’re my only hope!

Fade out – fade in to next scene

Scene II: The bridge of the Anti-Enterprise

Mr. Biden: “I like choo choo trains.”

Cpt Obama: (Sitting in his Captain’s Chair) “Someone throw him out an airlock!”

Two burly women, with crew cuts, grab Biden by each arm and hustle him into the elevator.

Mr. Biden: “Oh, goody. (Singing)We’re going to the airlock. We’re going to the airlock… Is that were they keep the choo choo trains?”

Cpt Obama: “Mr. Gibbs, do we have communications with that prison’s moron warden?

Mr. Gibbs: “Ah sir, he should be along any ah, moment now. Ah, I don’t have an exact ah, tic toc on that, but I will, ah put your question on my, ah, list and ah, get back to you.”

Cpt Obama: “You do that sparky.” (Pressing a button on the arm rest) “Mr. Geithner.”

Mr. Geithner: (Thick Scottish accent) Aye Captain, Scotty here.”

Cpt Obama: “Timmy, what have I told you about using that name and stupid accent? Never mind. We are in a jam. By we, I mean everyone but me is in trouble. Just as soon as we get a fix on the warden, I want you to beam him up and then immediately beam his sorry butt into the heart of the sun. You got that?”

Mr. Geithner: “Aye Captain. Beam his sorry butt into the sun. Sir, isn’t that going to make it hard for him to sit down. You know, since he won’t have a butt. Would it be all right if I just beam all of him into the sun?”

Cpt Obama: “Yeah, you stupid waste of… Just take care of it. Then I need you to spin-up the warp drive printing presses. I don’t care how much it cost, I will silence Limbaugh and the rest of those conservatives, if it’s the last thing I do. I’m going to need warp printing factor 10. We have to print a helluva lot a cash to finance this purge.”

Mr Geithner: “But sir, she won’t hold together… The dilithium crystals!

Voice over: Tune-in again some time in the future for part II of Anti-Enterprise, The Ship of Tools, when we’ll hear Lt Emanuel say: “You told Timmy (chortle) that you have ‘complete faith in him‘. Cpt Obama: (Snort) I know!” (Both burst into laughter).

Commercial fades out.  Cut to CSPAN screen.

“Next on CSPAN, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi will preside over the beheading of two Republican Congressmen, to be chosen by text messages and tweets.”

Question from Les:  What do you call a parody of a parody anyway?