Political Humor

I have a problem with people throwing shoes at me. Everywhere I go, people throw shoes at me. Many shoe throwing parodies have been created at my expense, and there is even a shoe throwing website in my “honor.” Also, my employer is oftem polled as to how satisfied they are with my job performance, and I am told that my approval rating is less than the margin of error. I don’t know why. It makes me feel like people don’t like me. What would Obama do?

~ George1600

First, I want you to know that all questions directed to What Would Obama Do are completely anonymous. I would never break the trust and confidence of a person seeking hope and change. Most importantly, get out of the White House as soon as possible. Don’t wait until your term is officially over. Pack up your things and get out. Yesterday isn’t soon enough.

As for avoiding the shoes, I usually use my aura of white light and higher consciousness to protect me. It’s kind of like using the force. Also, I often get my head stuck in a bucket. This would seem embarrassing to most people, but I have found that it offers great protection from shoes being thrown at the head.

I understand that Bill Clinton has a great deal of experience at dodging flying objects. I know it’s not what Obama would do, but I have consulted with Bill on a variety of topics, including all of my Cabinet choices. He has said that he finds sleeping in separate quarters helps, but I’m not sure if that is applicable in your particular case. Outside of that, he says 30 minutes of Tae Chi every morning helps keep him limber and agile. I hope that helps.

If your out of hope, and trying to change, but don’t know how, ask your questions of What Would Obama Do? Of course, you might ask, what experience to I have giving advice to people in an advice column. I did give a rousing speech once, and it got me elected president. So, none really. Ask your questions in the comments section.

Disclaimer: Do not take your advice from a political humor site. If you do, then you are an idiot and we are not liable for your results.