Political Humor

So the United Kingdom wants to give Ted Kennedy the honorary knighthood.

Why stop there? Why not skip over a few titles and go straight to Sainthood?

The Protestants are still arguing over past saints’ qualifications and the Born Again/Rapture people are too busy preparing for the end of the world. Being Catholic puts Kennedy on the fast track for sainthood in Christianity.

It is perfect for him.

What do you mean he has to be dead?

Okay fine, argue semantics all you want. In the meantime we should name a bridge after the man who is less brave than Sir Robin, a fellow Knight…

Ted will also be in good company with fellow Knight George Mitchell who showed the use of the Kennedy cover-up tactic when he investigated steroids in baseball. Mitchell is a former Congressman after all.

Kidding aside, this does not bode well for the security of England. What if there is suddenly a need for the Knights of the Round Table again?

The country’s armed forces would not be led by the likes of a King Arthur with a magic sword but rather a really old guy with a cane and a serious penchant for alcoholic refreshments.

England your Knights would be people like: Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Roger Daltry, Nick Faldo, Patrick Stewart, Rod Stewart, all the Gibbs except Andy, and Roger Moore.

While they would not be the best choices to engage an opposing army, the group would have one hell of a barbeque.

There could be a 70′s theme with “Staying Alive” and “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”. There could be an accent-off between Caine and Connery.

Patrick Stewart might be arguing with Roger Daltry over whether Tommy was actually an opera. Faldo could teach golf tips and Ted, well he’s running the bar of course.

None of this means a hill of beans however, whatever that means as well in the grand scheme of things. I’ll be impressed when they make Ted Kennedy the honorary Captain of the US Swim Team.

That would be an achievement.

Bonus points if the team trains in the Mary Jo Kopeckne Olympic Pool.

This complete bashing of Ted Kennedy and his lack of accountability was brought to you by Chris Cameron who writes this political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty.