Political Humor

It’s three AM and the phone rings at the White House residence.
It rings again.
The phone keeps on ringing.
Suddenly, a young girls voice pierces the darkness. “Dad! Pick-up the phone!”
Still it rings.
Dammit, will someone answer the freakin’ red phone!
Finally it stops.
It’s day 56 of the Obama presidency, and he’s exhausted.

Later that same day, the President is dosing at his desk. His head bounces up and down like some dashboard Obobble Head. Finally, it hits the desk, or rather something on it.

“Son of a…!” Obama screams out. “I nearly lost an eye!” He picks up the offending Gordon Brown gifted pen holder and heaves it at the wall.

“That visually impaired bastard’s trying to blind me! He’s trying to get back at me, for giving his white caned ass a bunch of movies! I’m really glad now that I re-gifted those and didn’t pay for them.”

Obama looks at Sheriff Joe Biden -who has just returned from an extensive trip aboard an Air Force G5 (that he somehow managed to get before Nancy Pelosi), making sure there is no waste in government spending. “I’ve already sent the Brits that stupid bust of Churchill, that they gave to the American people. What else can we send back, Joe?”

“Ah, I don’t know.  Maybe we could return the Statue of Liberty?”

“You moron, the wops gave us that, not the limeys. Now go get me my blinkie… I seepy.”

“Sure, no problem. You’re just a bit overwhelmed. Get some shut eye. You’ve got to be well rested for the Wednesday Night Party. Bruce Springsteen’s going to be preforming. Oh, and Michael Moore wants to know if he can sit at your table. I told him I’d have to ask, since you already have Raul Castro, Sean Penn and Louis Farrakhan sitting with you.”

“What happened to Hugo Chavez?”

“He can’t make it until next week.”

Has this ever happened to you?

No, me neither. But then again, I’ve never tried to burn through over a billion dollars an hour. It’s got to be hard work. Anyone of us would be tired too. I feel sorry for our President. All this spend, spend, spend is just wearing him out.

So, what can we as conservatives do to help?

Well, we can all chip in and buy him a Snuggie.

I mean, we’re all chipping and buying a lot of stuff we really don’t want anyway, aren’t we? So why not give the Chief Executive a backwards bathrobe? Just as long as we don’t have to watch him walking through the White House, like a man walking through a hospital wearing an untied gown.

Wait. I think we’re seeing that already, and it ain’t pretty.

A Snuggie -usually seen as a complete waste of good money- seems like a very reasonable gift, after what were being forced to purchase from our leaders. We’re buying a study on why pig shit smells bad, after all.

Come on, let’s see a show of hands of how many of you don’t already know why? A little hint for you with your hands in the air, IT’S SHIT!

If you don’t like that one, how about removing tattoos from gang members? Or money for some mouse  in a San Francisco swamp, or a Maine lobster study? If that last one doesn’t involve butter, I’d be surprised.

Don’t worry, though. This is the last pork laden spending you’ll see from Washington. Obama promised. But then again, he’s said that before.

Now pull that Snuggie closed for goodness sake.

Les James has been too overwhelmed to post at his political satire blog lately.