Political Humor

The Obama Morality

In a recent speech, somehow the President’s message to ALL Latinos was clearly understood, even though it wasn’t in Spanish. I watched a few seconds of this, Vote for me and I’ll ensure there will be more of your kind to vote for me in my third or seventh term.

Down along the Texas/ Mexican border -also known as the New and Improved, fence completed, why the Hell are the Republicans still complaining (it must be that Tea Party), now Safer and more Secure than ever before Border- Obama stated a pathway to citizenship was a moral imperative.

Hey, The Man Who Would Be King claims he made it that way, so let’s give him credit. I think Oborder has a nice ring to it.

I’m not sure where morality comes in, but I do understand why he feels it’s an imperative. These law-abiding, honest, hard-working people -who only come here to toil under the harsh sun to do stoop labor and contribute to our society- are the same ones Democrats believe can be given citizenship, and then enslaved to the Welfare State. They’ll then have no choice but to vote for more and continuing stuff, so they can live the American Dream of making it in El Norte through the sweat of the brow. Huh?

Admittedly, Hispanic gangs -filled to bursting with undocumented workers- have proven they are much better at trafficking drugs and humans than their non-Latino counterparts. Still, I don’t think this is what was meant by jobs American’s won’t do -or at least, won’t do as well.

The Dirty, Not So Little Secret

The Ominous They would have you believe that generations from now, this same race will still be doing the jobs American’s won’t do -long after their great-grandparents became U.S. citizens. This has to be the case, since we’re told we need them to do those types of jobs now. What would change in the future?

Hispanics must be viewed by the likes of Obama and his ilk, as a permanent under-class of cheap gardeners, maids, nannys, day laborers, and farm help. The Democrats gotta think it’s genetic.

A warning to anyone of Spanish or Portuguese  heritage, the Democrat Party sees Brown as the New Black. They’ll promise you any and everything for your vote, and give you almost nothing in return. They are The Man, and are going to keep you down.  Once the illegals are no more, you all look alike to them.

For those of you who came here illegally from other parts of the world remember this, the Democrats couldn’t care less about you, since you might make it on your own. They don’t see you as herd-bound and easily shepherded toward Socialism.

Maybe, just maybe,  I don’t fully understand what racism is, but then again …maybe I do.

For Heath Ledger the worst thing about being dead - besides the not-living part – is that he will be forever known as the Brokeback actor. I know people are going to argue that his last role as the Joker will be the one we remember.

I would agree with you, except my mind is busy trying not to compare his final performance to Beetlejuice.

And what the hell was up with the massage therapist calling Mary Kate Olsen first? Apparently she needed advice on what to do next. I have never stumbled upon a dead body but I’m pretty sure I know the protocol.

1. Don’t touch the body except to see if they are alive.
2. Call 911.

Two easy steps.

When you are someone who felt the cold body, yet assumed Ledger was merely unconscious, would it be a too much of a reach to know what to do in that kind of emergency?

Last week:

• A dog saved a man from a fire.
• A cat dialed 911.
• Birds opened doors.

Yet a human dropped the ball.

The animals are clearly better at emergency procedures than humans, which is scary. What if they turn on us and use their advantage against us? Like in Planet of the Apes.

“C’mon Lassie, open the door so I can get out of the burning house.”
“I’m sorry Chris I can’t do that.” The dog says, ordering the parrot to clutch the doorknob thus preventing me from opening it.

Of course all I hear is barking so I have no idea the dog said that. The animals are sneaky that way.

There is no truth to the rumor that Mary Kate Olsen previously instructed the therapist to call her whenever a celebrity dies so she could get some free publicity out of it. Sure, it sounds macabre but famous people always ride the coattails of anything in the media for some attention.

Just ask Green Day. One of the many bands that used ‘Canon in D’ to create one of their most successful singles ‘Basket Case.’ It is no surprise that a group on its way out chose to hop on something familiar to go platinum.

Did Crosby Stills Nash and Young use ‘Ohio’ to create press for a world tour? Was Bob Dylan using the message of ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’ to sell records?

In the end, Heath Ledger will be remembered for the guy who overdosed on six different meds and played a gay cowboy, while the rest of us got exposure from talking about it.

All aboard!

Chris Cameron’s other works of oddness, debauchery, and silliness can be read at Humor by Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com mourns the loss of Heath Ledger. Go there now to pay your respects.