Political Humor

It’s got to be violent to make it a highlight
If we show it enough well everyone will think it’s alright
Disco’s out, murder’s in ~ Suicidal Tendencies

Do you watch the news? Why?

Every once in a while, I have the misfortune of seeing a bit of the “News.” Every time I do, I think, “It’s no wonder people think the world is coming to an end.” That’s what’s presented on the News.

It should be called the “Why everything sucks report.”

Tonight: Are you dead yet? Watch our special report and find out why you may die a violent, horrible death sooner than you think. Stay tuned for details.

But, I need to be informed.

Informed? Really? Is that what you think is happening when you watch a concentrated dose of murder, rape, arson, violent criminals on the loose, and various other reasons to live in fear?

Just how does being “informed” make you feel? Inspired? Motivated? Ready to take on the world? What? None of the above? How do you think it’s improving your life to see all the most terrible things about the world all in bite sized, easily digestible snippets?

Oh, that’s right, You’re “informed.” That’s some quality information you’ve got there. It’s really useful too. Just think about how many more things you can do now that you’re “informed.” You could:

• Spice up your marriage
• Make more money
• Get your master’s degree
• Be more organized
• Stick to that new exercise regimen
• Read faster

Wait, what’s that? The News isn’t informing you about those sorts of things? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate the benefits of being “informed” then.

Perhaps you’re better off spending that time doing something that, at the very least, puts you in a good mood. Even if it’s not helping you move towards your goals, at least it won’t be counterproductive to achieving them. Let’s face it, living in fear and dread is not a path to success.

I can see the world around me. I can drive down the street and see the destitute reality that exists in the slum there. I don’t need it thrown in my face to be aware of it. I would rather act personally to do something about it.

The world isn’t ending. It’s just that people are afraid to leave their homes and do something that will make a difference, because they’re “informed” that the world is a dangerous place, people=shit, and violent criminals lurk around every corner.

I don’t watch the news, and I am better off for it.