Political Humor

Is it just me, or is it time for Al Gore to shut the fuck up? I know Al Gore likes to think of himself as the smartest man alive, and the media likes to gargle his nads, but I have to think that there is a better time to release a global warming book than in November. I mean, it was snowing in South Louisiana about that time last year.

If you live in Minnesota, and you’re freezing your ass off, no shit, I mean you’re shivering, and your ass literally falls off from the cold, do you really want to read some bunk science from Al Gore? Wouldn’t you want to stab Al Gore in the eye with a rusty spoon when you read “The Earth has a fever…” after you just lost your ass to the bitter cold? I’m just sayin’.

I know to dissent from the opinions of the all-knowing Goracle is a hate crime against Gaia and all, and E.L.F. hippie commandos are planning a raid on my house right now (bring it, pussies), but at what point does common sense come in and kick global warming hysterics in the face? I’m no climatological geothermal high priest to the altar of the religion of global warming, but the snake oil these hippies are selling doesn’t pass the smell test. When you can’t accurately predict the weather a week from now, don’t pretend to know what the weather will be ten years from now. Or, in other words, don’t piss down my back and tell me the climate is changing.

Forgive my cynicism, but since when have hippies been right about anything? I mean these people used to be the champions of doing copious amounts of drugs, listening to shitty music, and shagging anything with a hole and a heartbeat. I don’t trust ‘em. They vilify developed nations as being the rapers of the Earth, but they fail to see the fact that the third-world, shithole, “developing” nations pollute the most. And in their eco-insanity, the hippies fight the exportation of modern technology that could clean up these shitholes. When the founder of Greenpeace quits because his little rabble of jolly eco-pirates became raving lunatic commies, that should tell you something.

The problem is that these disingenuous assclowns have an ulterior motive. Be it Marxism like what you see with Greenpeace, or good old fashioned greed like you see with the Goracle, they’re using these environmental concerns as a vehicle to push other agendas. That sets off my bullshit detector.

Well, I will say this about old uncle Al. He is a charitable bastard. He plans to donate all the proceeds from this new book, titled “Our Choice”, to charity. That’s right, he’ll be giving all that money to the Alliance for Climate Protection. Pay no attention to the fact that the chairman of the board of directors for the Alliance for Climate Protection is Al Gore.

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