Political Humor

PETA wants fish to be referred to as “sea kittens“, cute little animals that like to snuggle and be petted. As always there is a cutesy PR gimmick for attention:

“The activist animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked school officials to change the name of Spearfish High School to “Sea Kitten High School.” The new name would “reflect the gentle nature of its current marine namesake,” the organization said in a letter to Steve Morford, Spearfish High School principal.”

As moonbat political causes go, this one is aimed right at the children. There is an interactive website where kids can read bedtime stories about the sea kittens:

Children can also build their very own sea kitten. Give it some cool sunglasses or a bowl to drink water out of.

Ignore the fish-having-gills thing. This is anthropomorphism after all and liberals love incorporating the world of fantasy into reality. Also ignore the fact that cats don’t like water and eat fish. Those are merely minor details.

Moonbats also love using the guilt card. Need someone to push for a cause? Indoctrinate some kids and send them home to Mom and Dad.

Of course it is easy to protest the killing and eating of animals when you are one of the richest charities in the world. Being in the business of Third World Development Denial needs lots of funding, much more then needed to give the entire world potable water.

A full stomach makes it easier to fight for the cause of sea kittens so pass the Chilean Sea Bass Muffie, I want to be well-fed for the PETA protest this evening.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor column every Thursday. He also has his own weird and original humor blog Angry Seafood.

Hi, I’m JO the Roofer. Remember me? I’m the guy you hired to redo your roof last time. I know it didn’t go very well. It leaked, and ruined your floors, and I’m sure you’re pissed. I know your furniture is ruined, and the toxic mold in your walls from all the moisture is a real bummer. I also understand how angry you are about the amount of water pouring through ruining your foundation. I want you to know one thing: It’s not my fault.

This is a dire emergency, and to fix it we’ll have to act fast. If you wait any longer, the mold could kill you and with the foundation problems, your house might fall on your head! Your whole family will die if you don’t do this IMMEDIATELY! You have no time to think about it, or come up with your own plan! I know it sounds crazy, but you have to trust me since I did such a great job with your roof! Do you want your family to die? With all my experience as a roofer, I know just what to do that’ll fix everything!

First, you need to borrow money that you don’t have, as much as you can get, and give it to me. For your family not to die, it’ll have to be a lot of money. Your house is too important to let it fall down and start over.

Next, what I’m going to do is take your money, and give it to some of my cousins. I have a cousin that does foundation work, and his business is failing, so he’ll get some. I also have a cousin that does mold remediation, and his business is also in trouble, so he’ll get some. But wait, there’s more! I have still another cousin who owns a flooring business, and guess what! His business is failing to and we’ll give him some money! And I’ll take some money, and we’ll rebuild your house.

What? You don’t trust my cousins? Why not? I taught them everything they know about construction. Don’t worry though, I’m going to appoint a few of my brothers-in-law to oversee the work. I taught them everything they know, too. It’ll be fine! We’ll fix all this, you’ll see. Trust me!

Wait! What are your doing? Why are you hitting me!? OW!!! Not in the FACE!!!!

If you liked this, you’ll love JumpOut’s Law Enforcement Humor and Political Satire blog, You Should Be Tasered!