Political Humor

A dystopian post by Les James, from the year 2014

At least in America, George Orwell’s 1984 was about thirty years off. The Reagan Presidency staved-off the rule of Big Brother for a generation, but the dark shadow of Fascism has now blotted-out his Shining City on the Hill. The most recent example of this malevolences surfaced today in an AP blog post.

Phoenix AZ.- Gunfire shattered the pre-dawn silence again this morning. This time it was in the Southwest. In a bold move to secure fairness for the Workers, the Internal Revenue Service raided a Subversive Conservative compound about 45 miles east of the desert city. Approximately 175 well-armed members of the IRS Health Care Enforcement Squad stormed the stronghold.

A spokesperson said the IRS was alerted to the activities of this unpatriotic group through their tax returns. Apparently, members failed to obtain government approved health insurance. Under the 2010 Obama Care mandates, the IRS has full control over regulatory enforcement of the Act.

Over 2000 rounds were expended in securing the compound. All members of this traitorous cabal were killed during the fight. The AP has learned that two men and a woman were found inside the single wide trailer, as well as a unloaded black power rifle and a butter knife. They also confiscated  several books by banned, seditious authors. Included were propaganda by Glenn Beck, Mark Levin, Michelle Malkin, and the complete works of Ayn Rand. All were burned at the site.

This is the 43rd such raid in the past month. The IRS reports that more than 20 have died for their crimes, and over 125 have been imprisoned. Head of Collections and Enforcement for the Internal Revenue Service, former Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid said, “We may not be able to get these treasonous right wing evil-doers through tax evasion, like we did with Al Capone, but we sure can get them for not having health care.

Get more of  Les James’ Conservative Satire and Right Wing Humor or delve into the  funny side of the Lies, Fraud, Hoax and Myths of Global Warming.

The following is very loosely based upon the outstanding writing style of Edward Bulwer-Lytton.

It was a dark and stormy night along the Southern Front, where heavy machine guns in National Guard manned towers, pointed to the North, in an effort to keep money and USA made weapons from tempting, honest, eager-to-work, underprivileged citizens of the Americas into entering a life of crime and die by the hundreds, to satisfy the desires of American liberals for a little, harmless high -unlike evil, law abiding, tolerant, gun loving, subversive conservative, suspected right-wing terrorist, who prefer to drink beer when they watch cars going around in circles and bar-b-cue brats, instead of smoking reefer or snorting cocaine from a mirror in some rat-infested, germ-ridden, big city night club restroom like Blue State hippies and high government officials (no pun intended, seriously) of the Democrat persuasion like to do, who then in a drug-crazed rut, hook-up with anything that has a pulse, only for many of the females of this sub-species to later regret their one night stands and visit dark alleys, where universal health care providers with unsanitary coat hangers wait.

So what the hell does this have to do with illegal aliens, undocumented workers, Democrat voters in waiting? Well, one would think all that fire power might deter them from entering our their country, right? There has to be some way to bring in the necessary employees to do the jobs Americans Lazy Americans won’t do, doesn’t there? Am I ever going to answer any of these questions? Is that what you want me to do?

Too bad. I don’t want to. At least, not in a couple of words.

It was the same dark and stormy night, just south of the border, where hard-working, men, women and children waited for a chance to make a lasting contribution to the entire world by borrowing the social security numbers of dead babies and thereby entitling them to vote in every Illinois election -several times on the same day- while simultaneously relieving sloth-like white guys of the burden of having to labor, by allowing them the opportunity to collect an unemployment check because they were laid-off from their jobs that paid too much or were outsourced (in-country) to foreign workers who want to just get through the border -that is heavily armed by racist, terrorist-in-training- without being subjected to the scrutiny afforded to their countrymen that supply the drugs for Liberal Americans that want to make themselves feel better about the terrible way these noble people are treated in their country -on both sides of the border- so they instituted a system to identify those immigrants, deserving the opportunity to re-claim the land that was stolen from them -after they stole it from the Indians, who stole it from the Norwegians- by giving them a “Get into Texas Free” card, so they can flash it at the new Check Point Charlie, near El Paso and enter this country unmolested.

If you didn’t get the message, all you liberals who use drugs are supporting terrorist activities, both foreign and domestic -and yes, I am saying drug cartels and gangs are terrorist too and no, conservatives as a rule, don’t use illegal drugs. This makes you an accessory to the mass murder of thousands of people world-wide.  I am also saying that there is nothing noble, proper, lawful, right, just or fair about “immigrants” sneaking into my home and taking what does not belong to them. Oh, and if you think this makes me a racist, que te jodan, Puta!

Have a nice day!

President Obama recently met with French President Sarkozy during the European Leg of his Apologize for America Tour. For some reason, Sarkozy didn’t seem to take a shine to the Chosen One.

The Subversive Conservatives @ Radioactive Liberty have obtained a transcript of their conversation.

Obama: So Nick, what did you think of my speech apologizing for America dissing Europe?

Sarkozy: First off Barack, I am Mr President to you. Not Nick, Nicky, or Nicolas understand? Second I do not understand this “dissing”.

Obama: So Nick, what did you think of my apolog… Hang-on, I’ve already read that… Yeah, just scroll down a bit… There you are. Stop. Perfect… Anyway, dissing. You know, like to disrespect. America has disrespected you guys over here for far too long. Reagan dissed you, Bush dissed you.  The other Bush dissed you. Clinton just wanted a blow job. Hehehe, I added that last one myself… Stay on message. Do not try to do this on your own… Oh, I wasn’t supposed to read that last part aloud. Sorry, I apologize.

Sarkozy: Yes, I can see you are sorry and very bad at ad lib, but the French are far more sorry.

Obama: Oh please, my country has much more to be sorry for than France. We tortured prisoners with caterpillars!

Sarkozy: HA! We French build cars that are so bad that it is torture just to drive one. And we sell them to ourselves!

Obama: That’s pretty sorry, but I can top it. America will immediately and unconditionally pull out of Pakistan.

Sarkozy: You are not in Pakistan.

Obama: What? John Kerry told me he spent Christmas in Pakistan.

Sarkozy: You see, I am right. Europe and especially France has much more to apologize for than your baby-aged country will ever have. You have not been around long enough to have gone through the Spanish Inquisition, the Middle Ages, or the Crusades. We have far more to be sorry about than America will ever have.

Obama: You don’t know what you’re talking about.  What about slavery, WWI, WWII, Korea and Viet Nam?

Sarkozy: We had our own slaves and we ran away in WWI, WWII and Viet Nam. We also sent exactly one ship and an entire battalion of snobby waiters to your Korean war. So there. What do you have to say now, huh? You can not possibly beat that. I win.

Obama: Yeah, well. Yeah… Well… Well… I have a small penis!

Sarkozy: What?

Obama: I said, I have a small penis!

Sarkozy: You are trying to shame me. There is no way your penis is smaller than mine. We French pride ourselves on our minuscule manhood.

Obama: That’s right Nicky. You know I’m only half black and the white half is way tiny.

Sarkozy: I do not believe you. American’s are known around the world for winning all of your, how you say, pissing contest. That requires a very large…

Obama: Peter? Not me bucko. Now you know why I apologize so damn much. It’s so small I can only tinkle down my leg.

Sarkozy: I challenge you prove your claim. Right here! Right now!

Obama: Okay, but I have to warn you, I don’t have any balls either.

Sarkozy: It is true! Your penis is smaller than mine and you do not have any balls!

Obama: Oui, oui, Sarkozy. I have a wee wee-wee.

Sarkozy: I hate you! I hate America!