Political Humor

Super Tuesday is Here

I know it will come as a shock to many of the readers here, but I endorse Barack Obama for President in the coming election. Many of the long time readers of Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty will be scratching their heads. Some may even wonder what dirty hippy has taken possession of my once rational and heartless soul.

I hope none of the regulars here will bail on me as I explain why I support a Barack Obama Presidency. If you bear with me, I believe you will also come around to the Barack side.

Barck Obama for Change

Barack Obama supports change. Now, I’m not a big fan of too much coinage in my pocket, but I’ve never been one to sneer at getting my change back. I’m not the sort of person to say, “keep the change,” except in circumstances where a tip is customary. Change is good, even if dollar bills are better.

Barack Obama is less of a Washington insider than the other top runners, aside from Mitt Romney. But who wants to vote for a Mormon? Most of the Presidents in recent history would have previous experience as governors. And if that doesn’t persuade you, I have two words to say. Jimmy Carter.

Barack Obama has a funny sounding name. As a Political Humor writer, this is probably the most important characteristic in voting for a candidate. Again, Mitt Romney is a pretty funny sounding name. He’s definitely a good second choice, but I see him riding the bench most of the season.

Dance Party USA

Barack Obama makes me think of making funny songs based on his name.

Barack Obama mao-mao. Obama mama mao. Tequila!

See? It’s impossible to not have a great time whenever that song is playing. If you don’t believe me, just watch Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, and notice the great time everyone had while Pee Wee danced to the song.

In fact, I suggest Paul Reubens as the running mate for Barack Obama. If we could find it in our hearts to embrace Bill Clinton’ extracurricular cummings and goings, surely we can let slide a little self-abuse in a men’s room. The primary role of Vice President Pee Wee will be to do funny dances to funny parody songs based on Barack Obama’s name.

Laughter is the best medicine.

No American will feel down about skyrocketing tax rates, or watching their jobs go overseas as their companies move to parts of the world with lower taxes. They will just turn on the TV and see the newest press conference with VP Pee Wee dancing the Bird.

But hopefully not doing any other bird related activities.

Then America will smile, and realize that America may no longer be the greatest country on Earth, but we are certainly the funniest.

That is why I support Barack Obama for President.

What’s the State of the Union?

Pretty much everything we’ve expected has happened so far in the Presidential elections. We are down to the two we figured would be there on each side, and once again we had an early leader’s popularity drop faster than the hype for the new Batman movie.

Today is the anniversary of the execution of Guy Fawkes, and the day after the last Republican debate before Super Tuesday. So what a perfect time it would be for Ron Paul to announce he’s dropping out of the race. I don’t think it will happen because he has the funding to hang around as long as he wants. He’s obviously buying his way into the debates.

Why the hell are people dropping out anyway? There are still like a gazillion delegates at stake. I hope John Edwards and Rudy Guiliani are not reacting to the polls because we know how accurate the polls have been so far.

What the hell happened to Guliani? He went from the leader to the recipient of the fabulous home version of the election contest quicker than Amy Winehouse ruined her career. This is what happens when you throw your hat into the ring but don’t actually run for office. At least he left with his dignity unlike another politician in 2004.

Death by Super Bowl

Howard Dean is obviously excited by the fact that the Super Bowl is this weekend, but did you know it can give you a heart attack? That’s right. According to the Chicago Tribune, being a die-hard sports fan can be hazardous to your health. Personally, I think they polled the heavy gamblers.

Speaking of gambling, it was nice to see the World Economic Forum not address ways to help make the US economy’s downturn a soft landing for the rest of the world. Instead they asked YouTubers for suggestions. Great move there.

Bonehead Bono and Jerkoff Chertoff

Bono was one of the celebrities who weighed in on the issue and opened with this line: “Hi my name is Bono and I’m a rock star sort of” while simultaneously giving a humbling facial gesture. Come frigging on! We know who the hell you are, and acting that way is just that. An act.

But the winner was Michael Chertoff who had his rose-colored glasses on with his reply: “if you use common sense to these problems you can solve them without violence.” He was referring to Islamic extremists affecting world trade.

Chris Cameron is a weekly guest writer for Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. Visit Humor by Angry Seafood for more of his odd and usually-funny writing.

Humor-blogs.com does not ramble about politics. But they are funny so go there.

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