Political Humor

It’s been a while since I updated my platform for being Cruel, deranged, bloodthirsty Despot of the Universe. I still promise to be completely psychotic, and I still guarantee that we will invade Canada to steal their oil. I don’t recall ever addressing the issue of taxes, however. As Cruel, deranged, bloodthirsty Despot of the Universe, I will restructure our tax policy so that the wealthy are exempt from taxes and the poor pay the majority of the tax burden.

“But FIAR! How can they pay taxes if they’re poor?” I know what you are thinking. Poor people need every penny that they have. They’re poor, after all, and just trying to make ends meet. The wealthy, on the other hand can spare a thousand dollars.. or a million. Whatever.

You only think this way because you’ve been conditioned to think of poor people as helpless, and in need of a helping hand. You need to realize that the current system rewards non-productivity, and punishes those who produce. This is set up this way just to create a dependency. It really is the goal of the tax system to punish achievement and reward victimhood.

Under my new system, if you don’t contribute to society, you pay society back with higher taxes. If you own a successful business, and employ thousands of people, you’ve already done more than your fair share. You produce a product or service that is wanted or needed, and employ thousands of people who need a job in the process of providing said product or service. Why would we, as a society, or government ask for more? Well, I won’t.

Let’s go back to our current policy of taxing the rich. If you know that putting forth greater effort will result in paying a penalty on your income tax filing, what will you do? You will decide to forgo the extra effort, unless you are odd and like being punished for achieving. Our tax policy is reducing our ability to create, invent, and be innovative, and efficient.

Additionally, we reward non-productivity. If you’re poor, you’re probably not contributing much. That’s why you’re poor. We reward this behavior. You don’t pay taxes. We provide you with housing, at the expense of those who do achieve something. Got kids? We’ll give you money to take care of them, and we’ll give you more money if you have more children. All at the expense of people who already contribute to the well being of society. All at the expense of those who contribute to the greater good by their mere existence.

By taxing the poor, we punish people for being unproductive, and we reward people who are productive with a tax exemption. “But the poor people can’t afford to pay the taxes.” So, make more money, then you will pay less in taxes and you’ll be able to afford the new tax rate, because it will be lower. We, as a society need to reward achievement, and I plan to do this by taxing the poor.

Does Humor-Blogs.com pay its fair share in taxes?