Political Humor

Wanted: Rouser seeks Rabble. Radical Right-Wing Instigator looking for like-minded Tea-Baggers, Timothy McVeigh wannabes, and Mob Mentality Nazi sign holders to overthrow current Democrat Congress in 2010 elections, by backing Conservative Candidates. Moderates need not respond.

Les at comments, Radioactive Liberty

Here we go again. FIAR has tried everything in his considerable power to fix the comment issue. Funny how it’s only me. I smell a conspiracy. A big, fat, we’ve been hacked by black helicopter pilots, conspiracy.  No, not black pilots, black helicopters. We’ll keep trying.

New Bill of Rights (Supersedes the Old Bill of Rights. They were kind of dusty and inflexible.)

You have the Right to Remain Silent. If you give up that Right and exercise Free Speech, you can and will be taxed on a progressive scale.

You have the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. If you can’t afford a firearm, one will be provided to you. Low Income Minorities can obtain loaded Saturday Night Specials at One Stop locations where they currently receive welfare checks, free legal aid, no cost abortions, voter registration, clean needles and food stamps. Repealed by Executive Order 16237

You have the Right to Health Care. If you chose not to exercise that Right, you will be subject to fines and imprisonment. While in prison, you will be forced to use better Health Care than available to the general public.

You have the Right to Life. If you are a Fetus, Elderly, or a Burden on Society, you are exempt from this Right.

You have the Right to Liberty. If you… Never mind, you already gave up that Right.

You have a Right to Pursue Happiness. If you are not happy, you will be prescribed medication to ensure your Happiness.

Do you understand these Rights as President Obama wrote them?

The New Bill of Rights are wholly owned by Obama Red Inc, and are subject to change without notice. No guarantee of actual rights are expressed or implied.

Stupid Question of the Day: Miranda Rights

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?”

Stupid Question: If I’m arrested, don’t remain silent, and then charges are dropped (because of course, I was innocent), have my Miranda Rights been violated, since they didn’t use what I said “against” me “in a court of law”? 

What you do, as a heterosexual couple behind closed doors, is your own business. What the rest of you do, is something I don’t even want to contemplate.

I thought we were going to get rid of these disparaging remarks, when the Messiah came into office. I thought it was going to be illegal, or something.

Why then does the Far Left think its alright to label us as Tea Baggers, a sex practice? Actually, I don’t care, and won’t tell you if this is something I enjoy or not.  But…

Here’s an idea, why not give them a label that fits their personalities? Let’s see, the Fascist Left enjoys deviating from the norm. They like to screw around with people’s lives. They are into domination. Bending their constituents over is a daily perversion they truly love. So what might be a fitting term?

I know. How about Mother Felchers?

I win!

Yeah, it’s sick, but I dare anyone to try to top it.

Right Wing Devils Made Me Do It

Limbaugh: “We’re taking a twenty-one hour break. But we’ll be back tomorrow on Open Line Friday.”

Les: “We’ll enough life altering wisdom for today. I’ve got to get some writing done. If miss my deadline, Fiar will beat me like his pet hippie. Man it’s getting harder and harder to come up with satire when the whole government is satire already.”

Limbaugh: “So what did you think of today’s show?”

Les: “Huh, I thought I turned the radio off.”

Limbaugh: “You did.”

Les: “Very funny joke, Rush. Come on, we both know that you use Radioactive Liberty for show prep. Trying to get back at me? So where’s the speaker?”

Limbaugh: “I’m the speaker. Your guiding light in times of tumult…”

Les: “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Okay, how are you doing this? You got a Ditto Cam in here or what?”

Limbaugh: “No, no Ditto Cam, no EIB microphone. I’m in your head.”

Les: : “What?”

Limbaugh: “I’m in your head. Actually, I’m stuck in here.”

Les: “What do you mean you’re stuck?”

Limbaugh: “Just that. Like a song that you can’t get rid of. Stuck.”

Les: “Okay I’ll play along, how’d you get stuck in my head?”

Limbaugh: “You invited us in by listening to AM talk radio and watching Fox News. In a way, it’s your doing, not ours.”

Les: “Us? Ours? Who else is in there?”

Rivera: “Chris Wallace and I are getting sick and tired of being lumped in with all of you radical conservative rabble-rouser’s at Fox. So we’re going to sit over here and shake our heads a lot.”

Les: “Huh?”

Hannity: “You’re a Great American, Les.”

Les: “Sean? What the… As much as I love you guys, you, Mike Wallace, Geraldo and Rush need to go… now! Leave me alone.”

Hannity: “Can’t. We’re on a mission.”

Les: “What the hell do you mean you’re on a mission? It’s my head and I don’t want you in there. Go away!”

Coulter: “We aren’t leaving Les. Just get use to it. Michelle Malkin and I are actually enjoying being in your head. I’m starting to see where you come up with all of those Photoshop ideas. You’re a twisted little pup, aren’t you? By the way those Palin Pin-ups are hilarious. And…if you’d like… I’ll send you some pictures of me that don’t need to be Photoshoped, if you know what I’m saying.”

Les: “I…ah…”

Malkin: “Hey, Ann, come see what I just found in repressed memories. This one goes back to when he was seventeen and there was this girl who..”

Les: “Whoa! Stay out of there! That’s embarrassing stuff. Now all of you, go away!”

Beck: “Okay guys, I’ve got a big clown shoe. Say the word and I’ll give his cerebellum a good whack with it, and we’ll get on with the possession.”

Les: “Possession? Put the clown shoe down, Glenn. Do you hear me? Don’t you go anywhere near my…

Hannity: “Les? Les? Can you hear me?”

Les: “Yes, Sean.”

Hannity: “Good. Now this is very important.”

Les: “Yes, Sean. Very important.”

Hannity: “I want you to buy a Brooks Brothers suit. There’s a large, black SUV waiting for you in front of your house. Get in. They’ll take you to get fitted.

Les: “Yes, Sean. Brooks Brothers suit.”

Limbaugh: “Then you need to get on a bus to Pittsburgh. It’s a charter. I’m paying for it as well as the suit, so don’t worry about the cost.”

Les: “Get on the bus.”

Beck: “And when you arrive, look out for the clowns!”

Coulter: “Enough already with the clowns, Glenn. Now Les, when you get to Pennsylvania, goose step along with other people from the bus to a Town Hall meeting. The subject will be about anything but health care reform.”

Limbaugh: “You are to be part of a well dressed, but unruly, angry and possibly rabid, Republican Backed Mob. There’s going to be a Democrat Senator speaking that needs heckling. Oh, and if anybody ask, you were sent there by an insurance company.”

Les: “Yes. Masters.”