Political Humor

What you do, as a heterosexual couple behind closed doors, is your own business. What the rest of you do, is something I don’t even want to contemplate.

I thought we were going to get rid of these disparaging remarks, when the Messiah came into office. I thought it was going to be illegal, or something.

Why then does the Far Left think its alright to label us as Tea Baggers, a sex practice? Actually, I don’t care, and won’t tell you if this is something I enjoy or not.  But…

Here’s an idea, why not give them a label that fits their personalities? Let’s see, the Fascist Left enjoys deviating from the norm. They like to screw around with people’s lives. They are into domination. Bending their constituents over is a daily perversion they truly love. So what might be a fitting term?

I know. How about Mother Felchers?

I win!

Yeah, it’s sick, but I dare anyone to try to top it.

I didn’t want to have to go down this road… but I thought the readers of this Conservative Political Humor blog deserved to know what some of the writers here are up to. It sickens me to post these ads. Sometimes you just got to do what you just got to do.

On the other hand- I’m as pure as the driven snow.

If Janeane Garofalo says you’re a redneck, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever gone to a park and didn’t hug a tree, you might be a terrorist.

If you don’t think that abortion is a better form of contraception than a condom, you might be a terrorist.

If Paul Begala believes you’re a wimpy, whiny, weasel, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever served your country as a member of the armed forces, you might be a terrorist.

If you’re a guy and have never tea bagged another guy or visa versa, you might be a terrorist.

If you think that 535 lobotomized, white lab rats would have a better grasp on reality than Congress, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever gone into the woods to drink a couple of beers and plink some cans, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever been in a church that didn’t slam America, and it wasn’t because either someone was getting married or died, you might be a terrorist.

If you think Bill Ayers is a terrorist, you might be a terrorist.

If you agree with Robert Frost that good fences make good neighbors, you might be a terrorist.

If you have a four-wheel drive truck parked on your front lawn, you might be a terrorist.

If you think that burning an American flag somehow doesn’t contribute to global warming, you’re just a totally screwed-up moonbat. Oops, how’d that get in there?

If you think government, like spandex clothing, should not come in XXL, you might be a terrorist.

If you don’t think Obama can walk on water while simultaneously reading Open Veins Of Latin America, you might be a terrorist.

If you know your ass from a hole in the ground, no doubt about it, you are a terrorist.

Now it’s your turn.  Just fill in the blank with your own funny phrase: If _______________, you might be a terrorist.

I think Jeff Foxworthy would approve.