Political Humor

What can you give politicians who have given so much to us?

The season of giving is closing in. The stores are already filled to the rafters with crappy gift ideas. If you’re like me, there’s this one group of people on your list that are always giving you stuff you don’t want, while you break the bank for them. You want to give them something that they haven’t already take from you. What to do, what to do?

We receive countless emails on a daily basis, here at our secret bunker. Many of them asking the same question: What can we little people (who don’t have the platform of an insanely influential political humor blog) do about Washington? Here’s our reply: give your favorite politician a gift that truly reflects your feelings. Let them know how much you appreciate their effort. Besides, it’s your patriotic duty to personally stimulate Fiar‘s, ah…economy. Yeah, that’s it.

It’s been a while since we last offered RL Gear by Radioactive Liberty to the public. We’d like to think it’s been worth the wait. Today we’re proud to introduce four new products, which are sure to be the perfect fit for the politicians on your list.

Shop early.  We never know when our location will be discovered, we’ll be shut down by the Fascist Nanny State, and you’ll be shut out of these great products.

Let’s face it, if our county’s leadership insist on acting like Ass Clowns, they might as well dress the part. Costume includes everything your favorite politician will need to go from Dollar Dumb to Pennywise.  Constructed of  stretchy latex,  this appliance will fit over the head of even the most swollen member of Congress.

Inspired by Rep. Michele Bachmann, the woman Nancy Pelosi loves to hate. You go girl! Solid brass and hand polished, these beauties (like all RL Gear) are made right here in America, in our very own subterranean sweatshop! From the desk where I’m chained, I can see the children -we freed from an ACORN financed brothel- pouring the molten brass into the molds. We keep the labor cost down, and pass the savings on to you.

A fantastic gift for countless elected officials, and most of Obama’s Cabinet and Czars. Pull his string and he blurts out, “Hey, it wasn’t my fault. It was that damned Turbo Tax.” And yes, Rush Limbaugh did borrow the Little Timmy moniker from here, even if he won’t admit it.

What more needs to be said?

We’re practically givin’ ‘em away!

Funny political humor images are one of the best presents you can give. Can there be a better way to share satire or just piss off someone? Please feel free to re-gift any of our pictures or text. The only thing we ask is that you give us a little credit for the hard work. Attribuation or a link back to us is not much to ask, is it?

President Barack *Hussein Obama’s Top Ten Apology List

10. I apologize for Gitmo. As a student of history, I know if it wasn’t for that torture chamber, Iran would have never taken Americans hostage in ’79.

9. I apologize for Joe Biden. No excuses, I just apologize. I swear that man’s head is a rock with lips.

8. I apologize for not getting the middle class more involved in sacrificing for the common good. But don’t worry, I’ve got the VAT and Cap and Trade just around the corner. That should make them feel better.

7. I apologize for *Little Timmy Geithner. He’s hard to take seriously. I should have picked someone that doesn’t look like Howdy Doody.

6. I apologize for taking my wife out for a date to New York, on the public dime. That was uncalled for. I’m the President of the United States, I can do better. I’m making it up to Michelle by giving her and my daughters a trip to Paris.

5. I apologize for not actually walking on water…yet.

4. I apologize for Hillary Clinton. That bitch has ballooned out so much, she can’t fit into her pantsuits. That makes me look bad, going around the world with that big, ghetto booty.

3. I apologize for being half white. I thought I was the Master of the Dark Side, but now I find out Darth Vader is my father!

2. I apologize for George and Barbara Bush being pro-life.

And the number one thing that I apologize for:

I apologize for my big ears. But understand, they’re not my fault. Like the economy, I inherited them.

* It’s okay to use Obama’s middle name now, since he’s revealed that we are one of the world’s largest Muslim nations.

* This just proves Rush Limbaugh reads Radioactive Liberty.  There have been far too many times when he’s said something “new” that had appeared here first, for it to be coincidence. I started calling Geithner “Little Timmy” way back on Dec 1st .  As far as I’m concerned, Rush can use me as show prep anytime and unless I hear from him, I’m going on the assumption that I’m right.

Fade in: Stars in the shape of dollar signs, trillions and trillions. We hear a familiar, well-modulated voice reading:

“Socialism, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the USS Anti-Enterprise. Its 8-10 year mission: to institute a Nanny State, to seek out new forms of taxation and subjugation. To boldly go where no American government has gone before!”

Soaring kazoo solo theme music plays as opening tiles role.

Fade to black. Cut to commercial.

“Hey, this is Don Imus for Kink-Away. Have you black chicks ever wished you could get rid of your nappy head of hair and have that sexy, white-babe looking straight hair just like Michelle Obama’s? Well, now you can…

Commercial fades out. Fade in to opening scene.

Scene I: The United Socialist States Anti-Enterprise is circling a large planet.

Voice over: Captain’s Log, Stardate 0904.13. We are in geosynchronous orbit above the infamous Black Hole penal colony on Uranus. This is where society’s most dangerous political prisoners are kept. Deep in the bowels of the planet is the ultra-high security, Subversive Conservatives Pit. It’s been penetrated, and some of the universe’s most treasonous villains have escaped.

We suspect Public Enemy #1, Rush Limbaugh, is behind this jail break. He had been thought to be dead, but recently, new, prerecorded messages from Rush have been broadcasting on illegal blogs, which have been hacked into the Gorenet. We’d traced the source back to the Tora Borealis caves on Mars.

I, Captain Barack H. Obama, lead the landing team. As we entered the cigar smoke-filled caves, a crew member -that I don’t ever remember seeing before- tripped a light beam. Limbaugh’s voice echoed off of the cave’s walls. After listening to about thirty second of this vile hate speech, this crew member turned to me and said, “Sir, this Limbaugh guy makes sense.” I shot him.

We searched the caves, but never found Limbaugh. All that was left in there was the recorder that played the blasphemous message and a list of names, written on one of the walls. Sean Hannity, Matt Drudge, Glen Beck and oddly enough, Dennis Miller. Precisely the same names of those who were now loose again, spreading their deleterious messages.

Hum, not a single woman’s name on the list. Not even that skinny bitch’s, Ann Coulter. I always thought Limbaugh was gay… oh shit, I’m, I’m…ad-libbing! Not that there’s anything, you know, wrong with being gay. Er, I mean, some of my best friends are… Help me BO Teleprompter! You’re my only hope!

Fade out – fade in to next scene

Scene II: The bridge of the Anti-Enterprise

Mr. Biden: “I like choo choo trains.”

Cpt Obama: (Sitting in his Captain’s Chair) “Someone throw him out an airlock!”

Two burly women, with crew cuts, grab Biden by each arm and hustle him into the elevator.

Mr. Biden: “Oh, goody. (Singing)We’re going to the airlock. We’re going to the airlock… Is that were they keep the choo choo trains?”

Cpt Obama: “Mr. Gibbs, do we have communications with that prison’s moron warden?

Mr. Gibbs: “Ah sir, he should be along any ah, moment now. Ah, I don’t have an exact ah, tic toc on that, but I will, ah put your question on my, ah, list and ah, get back to you.”

Cpt Obama: “You do that sparky.” (Pressing a button on the arm rest) “Mr. Geithner.”

Mr. Geithner: (Thick Scottish accent) Aye Captain, Scotty here.”

Cpt Obama: “Timmy, what have I told you about using that name and stupid accent? Never mind. We are in a jam. By we, I mean everyone but me is in trouble. Just as soon as we get a fix on the warden, I want you to beam him up and then immediately beam his sorry butt into the heart of the sun. You got that?”

Mr. Geithner: “Aye Captain. Beam his sorry butt into the sun. Sir, isn’t that going to make it hard for him to sit down. You know, since he won’t have a butt. Would it be all right if I just beam all of him into the sun?”

Cpt Obama: “Yeah, you stupid waste of… Just take care of it. Then I need you to spin-up the warp drive printing presses. I don’t care how much it cost, I will silence Limbaugh and the rest of those conservatives, if it’s the last thing I do. I’m going to need warp printing factor 10. We have to print a helluva lot a cash to finance this purge.”

Mr Geithner: “But sir, she won’t hold together… The dilithium crystals!

Voice over: Tune-in again some time in the future for part II of Anti-Enterprise, The Ship of Tools, when we’ll hear Lt Emanuel say: “You told Timmy (chortle) that you have ‘complete faith in him‘. Cpt Obama: (Snort) I know!” (Both burst into laughter).

Commercial fades out.  Cut to CSPAN screen.

“Next on CSPAN, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi will preside over the beheading of two Republican Congressmen, to be chosen by text messages and tweets.”

Question from Les:  What do you call a parody of a parody anyway?