Political Humor

This week’s edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about Midgets and Joe Biden…

Saying “Midget” No Longer a Diminutive Mistake

Apparently there is a movement, a small one mind you by the Little People of America to get the FCC to ban the word “midget” when referring to very, very short people.

You know, on television, also referred to as the small screen:

“The word ‘midget’ objectifies you,” said Clinton Brown, 27, of Hicksville, who co-chaired this year’s conference at the Brooklyn Bridge Marriott in Downtown Brooklyn. “Growing up as a little person, because you’re different, you experience the ups and downs of some cruelties and prejudices. How many times have people I don’t know come up to me and wanted to pick me up?”

Well they are pretty cute after all.

Ironically, the best way to find the story is to Google News the term “midget”. The movement is clearly not starting off well.

I won’t keep going as I know this topic always has a short attention span.

Joe Biden Needs to Speak Out More Often for Comedy’s Sake

Obama can’t even let his Vice President out on the Fourth of July weekend, a historically slow time for news coverage. As usual Joe Biden gave an interview for ABC’s “This Week” that was as coherent as the plot twists in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End:

Vice President Joe Biden signaled that the Obama administration would not stand in the way if Israel chose to attack Iran’s nuclear facilities, even as the top U.S. military officer said any attack on Iran would be destabilizing.

What a fresh change from the Bush administration, which kept Israel from attacking Iran. Shhh don’t tell the liberals that though. Their Kool-Aid is too powerful.

Then in the same interview he gave us hope for the economy:

“We misread how bad the economy was, but we are now only about 120 days into the recovery package,” Biden added. More jobs will be created in coming months, he said.

Usually when someone says something like “more jobs” that implies there were actual jobs created in the first place. Then again, maybe Joe is setting the bar much lower after the initial misread.

If two jobs are added to zero jobs that is twice as many jobs! You could even spin it as a 200% job recovery. See what I did there?

My personal take-away from the interview was this Biden-ism on economic recovery:

“The pace of the ball is now going to increase.”

Great, now our Vice President is making up new sports cliches. Like we do not have enough of them already.

At least Biden did not say that the the administration needed to circle the wagons or that they have to get into their offensive rhythm because that would have been awkward.

Besides, nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Not even Obama and Biden.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his other weekly column here every week as well as his own humor blog Angry Seafood.

There is always mudslinging going on, some of it fun political humor, like when Obama is made fun of for saying there are 57 states. Some is disparaging like made-up stories about Sarah Palin pretending her grandchild is actually immediate family. We had no idea the venom the Liberals were capable of spewing until a woman that wasn’t a Democrat ran for Vice President.

It was like the left side of the blogsphere had their meds wear off at the same time, the free Wifi network at Starbucks shuddering under the intense strain of all those liberal moonbats rushing to make sh*t up on the internet. They made Chevy Chase’s behavior at the DNC look subdued and conservative.

But man can those Democrats sling the mud. I can see Andrew Jackson and John Adams wiping tears from their eyes in Heaven, or Hell I guess depending on your viewpoint.

Those two, by the way were the forefathers of the modern day mudslinger. In the Election of 1828, Jackson’s wife was called a ‘dirty black wench‘, his mom a prostitute, and his father a mulatto, apparently by one of Keith Olberman’s ancestors.

Adams was attacked for being rich as well as traveling on Sundays, and having premarital sex with his wife. At least this John didn’t have a love child with a video producer, right Mr. Edwards?

Speaking of South Carolina, John McCain was the victim of some nasty mudslinging in that state’s 2000 Primary when his supporters were called by push-pollers and asked if they would support him if they knew he had an illegitimate black child. Forget mud, someone backed up a concrete mixing truck and unloaded it for crying out loud.

When you get bitch-slapped that hard it is no wonder you vote with Bush 90% of the time. That’s mudslinging for you.

The best is when the candidates themselves do the dirty work. This was the famous ‘Daisy Girl’ ad for Lyndon Johnson’s campaign in 1964:

(Video Link)

With the production values of a crappy YouTube video, it doesn’t seem scary to people today but this ad freaked people out so much it was only run once. Guess who won the election?

The topper was of course Lyndon Johnson’s voice-over. He didn’t use a specialist like the now-departed expert Don LaFontaine. Imagine Barack Obama doing this? The guy needs a teleprompter in the bathroom for crying out loud.

Whoops did I just mudsling?

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political drivel every Thursday for Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his other attempts at being funny on his own humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is the home for funny blogs and pigs with lipstick. Just have a few drinks before you click there and it will look a lot better.

Tim: Welcome to our 2008 Election VP debate pre-bout show. I’m your host Tim Masterson. Today sitting in the hot seat is the former governor of Minnesota and wrestling icon Jessie The Body Ventura. And speaking of hot seats, I said it last week and I’ll say it again, Gov. Sarah Palin has one hot seat.

At first it was strictly a physical attraction, but with time I’ve grown to appreciate her mind as well as her body. OK, I still drool on my microphone when I see pictures of her. That one with her wearing that red, white and blue, Wonder Woman outfit, holding a whip…Wow!

What do you say Jessie?

Jessie: Sarah Palin is hot. If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra and you know who’d be wearing it.

Tim: Now that’s funny!

Jessie: Congratulations Jim, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn’t: Go stick your head in the mud.

Tim: That’s why I love ya man. But let’s get down to the battle de jour.

Looks to me like its going to be a mêlée of epic scale between The Hottie, Sarah The Barracuda Palin and The Mouth that Roared, Scrappy Joe Biden.

Jessie: Yeah Tim, McCain’s training Palin for the heavyweight fight of her career. He’s got plenty of political in-fighting experience to pass on to her but from what I’ve seen so far, she’s got talent. Selling the jet on Ebay… classic.

Tim: So what do you think of the boys from the Blue States?

Jessie: It’s a switch-up. This is something we don’t see too often. The 40 something year congressional vet, Scrappy Joe, the Dems VP candidate, is the one prepping his I’ve got more time in the jon then he has in office, featherweight challenger to go up against the Reps seasoned pro.

Tim: So what you’re saying is that the VP debate is the one to watch, ‘cause the Pres. contest is going to be an early KO?

Jessie: Not all Tim. To give you an analogy: wrestling is ballet with violence and Obama knows how to dance.

Tim: Too close to call then. Do you have any advise to give either Vice Presidential candidate?

Jessie: Biden needs to remember he didn’t get enough votes in his Presidential bid to be elected Mayor of Wasilla. If he opens his mouth at the wrong time or even looks at her wrong during the debates, Palin wins because it looks like he’s picking on a woman and he’s sexist SOB.

Palin, on the other hand, needs to remember the she’s a good-looking woman. She has to be a class act while she’s kicking Biden in the nuts. Play that wrong and she looks like a bitch.

Tim: Strong words. But what about Obama saying, “You’re absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith.”

Jessie: Obama can’t put two coherent words together, without someone putting it on a teleprompter for him first. As to those being strong words, I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there’s not much I can do about that. But I’m going to be honest. I’m going to continue to speak my mind, and that’s who I am.

Tim: OK.  What ever happened to your political career?

Jessie: I decided to run for governor because I got mad… I wanted to make government more directly accountable to the people. But when my time was up, I went back to my real life. Politics is not my life. I have a career in radio and another career in film.

Tim: How’s the film career going?

Jessie: Not so well.

Tim: On a lighter note, McCain sent me a letter.

Jessie: Oh?

Tim: Yep, he was looking for support.

Jessie: You mean cash.

Tim: You got it. So I sent him a dollar and wrote him there’s more where that came from it he gets elected and suddenly doesn’t feel up to the job.

Jessie: Putting Palin in the “hot seat” as you would say?

Tim: Ah ha.

Jessie: Good call.

Tim: Well, that’s all the time we have today. I’d like to say thanks to my guest, the most powerful governor next to Arnold…

Jessie: What the…?

Tim: …Jessie The Body Ventura. Tune in tomorrow when my guest will be TV, and singing legend David Hasselhof. Good night.

Jessie: What do you mean “next to Arnold” …

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Les James posts here every Monday while maintaining his home at Sideshow Mirrors.