Political Humor

Vote 2008

I’m going to take a position that may be quite unpopular among the regular readership here. No jokes, just a final voting day rant to vent before we get to the business of today’s 2008 election coverage.

There is no official editorial position of Radioactive Liberty Conservative Humor & Satire, no lines in the sand being drawn. We’re all adults here and there is room to disagree and yet still respect each other as friends and fellow conservatives.

Who Should I Vote For?

I’ve consulted the alternative voter’s guide, and find nothing appealing. Nor do either of the mainstream candidates appeal to me.

I will not be voting for McCain. I will not be swayed by all the hyperventilating about just how awful Obama is. I see the parallels to the subretarded moonbats with their BusHitler stupidity. It’s there. Bush=Hitler and now Obama=Hitler. Bush has shredded the Constitution and now we’re hearing about how Obama hates the Constitution. Bush is stupid, Obama is stupid. Okay, I actually agree with the last one.

But I won’t be voting out of fear. I’m going to throw away my vote, whatever that means. I think Diesel actually summed that one up accurately. How is it throwing your vote away, unless the logic is that your vote is a throwaway vote if it is not cast for the winner, in which case, you need to vote for the person you think is going to win.

No. To me the only vote that is thrown away is one cast for a candidate that you only support because he is not as much of a steaming, putrid pile of excrement as the other guy. McCain has a long and storied track record of pissing on the backs of conservatives and telling them it’s raining. Am I the only one that remembers the gang of 14? My memory fails me. Who led that? I think it was McSomething. McAllister? McGregor? McCain.

How about the brilliant free speech suppressing McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform? What about all the times McCain has gone out of his way to tow the Democrat party line, in the hopes of being popular amongst the Mainstream Media. The very same media that has turned it’s back on him now that he’s running against the chosen one.

I cannot in good conscience vote for a man that I have such complete and utter contempt for. I have a visceral, seething disdain for everything this man has done in his career to undermine my ideals. For everything this disgusting pig politician has done to bury conservatism at every opportunity.

When I go in the voting booth, I’m not going to let that all be water under the bridge, based on the idea that his opponent is so supremely worse for the country. Both men have proclaimed a desire to take the country in a “new direction.” I don’t know what that sounds like to you, but to me it sounds like they both plan to drive us over the cliff of big government socialism.

Obama Vs McCain Issues Comparison

Say goodbye to and delusions of a balanced budget. The Democrats and the Republicans have no significant differences between them. All their supposed differences are nothing more than contrived controversy to dupe American citizens into thinking there is a difference at all. When it comes down to it, we don’t have a choice if we are going to limit our choices to John Jackson, who wants amnesty for illegal invaders, regulations on phony global warming scams, and nationalized health care, and Jack Johnson, who wants nationalized health care, regulations on phony global warming scams, and amnesty for illegal invaders. That’s our choice? No thanks.

If you keep making the choice election after election to vote for the pile of sh*t that is minimally less pungent than the other pile of sh*t, you find yourself holding your nose, attempting to suppress the gag reflex, while you shove an Everest sized mountain of sh*t sandwich down your throat. All the while telling yourself it’s not as bad as the other sh*t sandwich because it smells mildly less offensive. You’re still eating a sh*t sandwich either way, and you’ve somehow become convinced that this is a good thing.

In the end there are no delicious Bacon, bacon, bacon, and bacon™ sandwiches left to eat. Only acres and acres of sh*t. And we all inspect each turd, trying to justify that one is slightly less repulsive than the other.

No. I just can’t do it. I cannot be a party to the continual downward spiral of this nation, and our ritual of perpetually selecting the mediocre candidate. That is why I will not be voting for McCain on this election day, November 4, 2008.

I believe in the American people. I believe in the American spirit. The country will make it through. Don’t throw away your vote today. Vote your conscience, even if it is not the popular thing to do.

Stay tuned for the 2008 election coverage here at RadioactiveLiberty.com. We’ll be mixing political humor, funny pictures, and news updates throughout the day.